Husband blames me for FET failure

[Anonymous]

Not your fault!!!

Counseling, yes! Even just a session or two-not because there is anything wrong with either of you, but a counselor can help you both become more aware of how you react under stress, how your partner perceives those reactions, and how to communicate more effectively and how to support each other in a stressful time. The session my partner and I did before we started infertility treatments was so much more useful that I expected going in.

[Anonymous]

just wanted to add that on my first IVF i was totally confident and happy it was going to work, didnt, second, same thing because this time we transferred better blasts and more, still didnt work...third i had NO confidence, cried and stressed the whole time...and im pregnant with twins
i know rationally you know he's wrong, but just wanted to give you an example of how little effect being upset has on the outcome
good luck - i wish you the best!

[Anonymous]

Maybe he didn't really mean it how it came out. My husband keeps telling me to not stress as if it is something I can control... as if I have the choice of my emotions/reactions to things. But I don't think I do - if I feel fear, anger, etc it is something that happens to me, not by choice. It took a while for me to realize he genuinely thinks differently about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP--so when your baby (yes, you will have baby) cries, how do you expect your husband to react? Will that be your fault too?

Ha! Thanks, PP, this made me laugh. Honestly, I think my husband will be a great father. He basically raised his two younger siblings, one of whom is SN, and loves children and is very patient. I think he said something in despair and anger - not defending him AT ALL. What he said totally sucked (hence the post and the vent). But I do think he'll be a good dad and supportive partner in the parenting process.

While that is a touching story, you have no idea what parenting is at the moment. Not fun and games then they go home. It's sleep deprivation and babies / toddlers that test you for years. Parenting is about surviving, seriously.