What do you think of this email from a roommate?

[Anonymous]

Snotty, you need to move or get a different roommate with the same degree of cleanliness. This email is probably going to piss him/her off because they just don't care as much as you do, that's clear!

[Anonymous]

Sounds like OP was the recipient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again, I apologized for the incident with the trash this time which I think is unusual.

I think it's inappropriate for her to go through my food and decided two clemintines (gasp) need to be thrown out. Yes the maid throws out old food and cleans weekly.

I think it's inappropriate for one adult to lecture another about how to recycle.

I think the comment about 5 boxes of baking soda is too much too.

I agreed to be more attentive, asked her to let me know if she perceives a problem, asked her not to go through my food, told her she doesn't need to clean the food or fridge because the maid does that, and agreed to tie leftoover food in a plastic bag.

You really think someone has to live with moldy food in their refrigerator? If it is moldy, and it is still there, then no, the maid is not doing it. You are just letting mold live in your refrigerator. You are gross!

[Anonymous]

I think the e-mail sounds kind of nice and kind of like there is a long history of a problem with your garbage; only you and she would know whether that's the case. I have to say that once something like a clementine turns mouldy, it quickly develops a very pungent rancid smell. (I know this from my own laxness about maintaining the produce in my house!)

I'd say if you guys generally get along, the e-mail is nice and opens the door to a conversation. (If you don't get along, then obviously it will rub you the wrong way.) I'm in favor of doing something like this by e-mail initially, just so the recipient has time to get over whatever knee-jerk reaction there might be and think about the substance of the issues. Then I like to follow up with an in-person conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think:

1) Recipient of e-mail is a slob.
2) Sender of e-mail is is painstakingly polite about the fact that recipient is a slob.
3) Both roommates are lazy and have terrible eating habits.
4) The line about the 5 boxes of baking soda is a little passive aggressive.
5) The lecture about the recycling center is over the top.
6) Thank GOD I am past this stage of life.

Yes!

[Anonymous]

OP, sounds like you're too reliant on the thought that the maid will take care of you. Clearly, that's not enough.

If you were taking care of your own rotting food, then yes, it's rude for your roommate to step in. But you're not taking care of it, and so your roommate was entirely justified.

[Anonymous]

Whew, I am just thinking, "I am so so glad I am not in this situation anymore!" Was never happier than when I moved past the roommate stage, whew.

Back when I WAS living with roommates, though, I hae to admit: I was more like your roommate, I think. Sorry, but I think I would view you as kind of slobby, and would be irked by what she has described as well. I think you need to step up your cleaning game. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Depending on where you are eating, leftovers can be really smelly. I know sometimes when we bring leftovers home and I open the refrigerator the odor is kind of icky.

I think the person writing the note (based on the 4 boxes of baking soda) sounds a little OCD, but I'm going to give the person the benefit of the doubt and say they are probably very sensitive to smells. Could she be pregnant?

[Anonymous]

I think if you guys are so unable to cooperate that you need separate trash bins, then you need to live alone. Seriously.

[Anonymous]

Your roommate sounds reasonable and wrote a note politely detailing her concerns. You don't sound as reasonable. Who cares if she throws out your moldy fruit?

Having someone come in to clean doesn't mean your roommate can't deal with a situation where food is smelling You really expect her to just live with bad smells until the 'maid' gets there the next time. She was resourceful and dealt with the issue. your separating of the garbage is weird. I think you are the problem in this roommate agreement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) it's bizarre that you have separate trash.
2) sounds like you are a bit messy. Do you think the house stinks?

I assume the OP is the writer of the e-mail, not the recipient.

I agree. If so, OP, I would leave out the comment about the 5 boxes of baking soda. Also, don't lecture about recycling center rules. If the recycling stinks, then proposing rinsing of the recyclables as one of your solutions to the problem, but leave out the lecture about rules.

Otherwise, it is a good email.

+1 I agree totally with this PP. Otherwise good email OP. If you do want to cut down on trash (it seems recycling is important to you both) buy some containers to put leftovers in, instead of the gallon size bags.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again, I apologized for the incident with the trash this time which I think is unusual.

I think it's inappropriate for her to go through my food and decided two clemintines (gasp) need to be thrown out. Yes the maid throws out old food and cleans weekly.

I think it's inappropriate for one adult to lecture another about how to recycle.

I think the comment about 5 boxes of baking soda is too much too.

I agreed to be more attentive, asked her to let me know if she perceives a problem, asked her not to go through my food, told her she doesn't need to clean the food or fridge because the maid does that, and agreed to tie leftoover food in a plastic bag.

I think the biggest issue here is that between you and the maid, not all food is being discarded before it starts to smell, grow or decay. A refrigerator does not stop decay and mold, it only slows down both. But there is still a common problem that foods with strong flavors and smells cross-contaminate each other. It is best that all food is stored in some form or airtight container. The gallon ziploc bags are good in that you can take a takeout container and put the whole thing into a bag and be done. This will stop flavors and smells from contaminating other foods and if it goes bad before you get to it, you can throw the whole thing into the trash as is without opening it.

I agree that some of what she did/said may be over the top (the baking soda and the lectures about recycling). However, as a co-user of the refrigerator, she definitely has the right to go through the food to find what is moldy. Mold spores are aerosol, which means they spread through the air. Your moldy food will cause mold to grow on her food faster if not discarded. By the time you can smell it, it is spreading the spores througout the fridge into other food that is not well sealed. It needs to be discarded and even a day or two can ruin other foods much faster (much less a week). If you enclosed your food, and it contained the mold spores, then, no, she would not have any business going through your food. But you didn't, so she had to.

Take responsibility for the things that you should and can fix and either you can explain to her that the recycling and baking soda comments were over the top or just let them slide unless such comments become common in which case you will need to address them. Your choice how confrontational you want to be on those points.

[Anonymous]

Oh, just have an effing adult conversation already! Good grief.

[Anonymous]

Ooh, ooh, I have the answers!
1) Your roommate is passive-aggressively showing that she is still annoyed by your weird original decision to have separate trash containers.
2) She is taking it out on you with a way-too-detailed note.
3) Grown-ups should be able to talk to each other casually about stuff like this.
4) Roommate situations largely suck.

[Anonymous]

Let me get this straight. There are two people living in your house, neither of you have children, and you have to rely on a maid to keep your house and fridge managed??