At odds with spouse ove how much house we can afford

[Anonymous]

I would love to have this problem, so no snark. I think you do a couple of things. Budget it out. What does each price level mean in terms of monthly costs? The biggest thing though is split the difference. You can totally get a great place for 1.3m, give or take ( or at least that seems to me to be the point where you get everything, versus going into ridiculous territory. I think less than 1M is possible, but not as nice.

Actually, I think the biggest thing is looking a actual places. This will take you longer, but defining specific places at target price points and seeing the tradoffs in real life might be enough to bring you two closer to the middle.

[Anonymous]

HHI 1M, probably not walking or metroing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No kids in private. Want to be within beltway near (walking?) to metro or bus. I think we could comfortably afford up to 1.7M, husband would like to be under 1M

Why does your husband want to keep the purchase price under 1M?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HHI over 1M, you don't need to be asking this question.

Exactly. My heart bleeds for the OP.

Wow. Not asking for sympathy. Just for conflict resolution and how to go about it. If it makes everyone happier, divide everything in half or in 1/4ths- still the same problem and still trying to ascertain comfort level. How about "We make about $250K per year, have a healthy savings of $200K, but are $150K apart on how much house we can afford" What can we really afford and how do we go about it? Is that more palatable?

cept houses arn't 200K around here, at least not the ones you're looking for.

[Anonymous]

Guys, how about we all assume that OP is very grateful for her lot in life, and move on to the actual question OP asked?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, if your DH is willing to do without a yard, is he also willing to be the one who takes the kids to the park every time they want to play outside? If you can't walk to Metro, is he willing to let you be the one with the car every time one of them is in the shop? If you buy a smaller house, is he willing to let you have a room as your office while he works at the dining room table?

In other words, is he willing to make the sacrifices, or is he pushing them onto you?

Clearly I will be the one inconvenienced by most of the limitations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guys, how about we all assume that OP is very grateful for her lot in life, and move on to the actual question OP asked?

Yes, thanks. And FWIW, we are huge walkers/public transportation users. DH abhors traffic and long commutes. Still at odds regarding whats "affordable" vs "comfortable" vs "doable"

[Anonymous]

OP, how stable is this income over time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guys, how about we all assume that OP is very grateful for her lot in life, and move on to the actual question OP asked?

Yes, thanks. And FWIW, we are huge walkers/public transportation users. DH abhors traffic and long commutes. Still at odds regarding whats "affordable" vs "comfortable" vs "doable"

No prob. Here's what I would do: pull together two budgets -- one with your expenses plus a mortgage on a $1.7M house, and one with a $900K house. Sit down with a bottle of wine and your DH and talk about how this would change your lives -- both day to day (spending, amenities, etc) and long-term (college savings, retirement, etc). Find out from your DH what his reservations are about spending more, and explain to him why you think the amenities are worth X dollars. Go from there.

Treat it like two partners making a business decision. Plus wine.

[Anonymous]

1.7m is totally affordable, comfortable and doable in your case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1.7m is totally affordable, comfortable and doable in your case.

I agree, but how did you decide that and how do I present facts to back it up?

[Anonymous]

Boohoo no heated slate garage floors in the under one million house, I cry for you op

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boohoo no heated slate garage floors in the under one million house, I cry for you op

AGAIN:

Wow. Not asking for sympathy. Just for conflict resolution and how to go about it. If it makes everyone happier, divide everything in half or in 1/4ths- still the same problem and still trying to ascertain comfort level. How about "We make about $250K per year, have a healthy savings of $200K, but are $150K apart on how much house we can afford" What can we really afford and how do we go about it? Is that more palatable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1.7m is totally affordable, comfortable and doable in your case.

I agree, but how did you decide that and how do I present facts to back it up?

Spread sheet showing income and expenses and how the 1.7M house can be mortgage free in a couple of years?

[Anonymous]

OP - how log have you had a HHI at this level? It this a new situation? How long did it take you to save the $750 K?
I would assume that with this income, if you have no other debt, you should have saved at least $250 K a year. If you couldn't do that, why not?
If you are saving at that level, then the difference between you might be a fortune for most, but for you, your disagreement is only about 2 years of savings.

I am trying to understand why your husband feels uncomfortable with a debt level that seems fine for your HHI.