Why do obese women THINK that thin women care?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As an obese woman who is now not obese...I will be honest and say that yes, I do notice obese women and while I wouldn't say "disgusted", I guess "put off" by them would be appropriate and I am don't think I am alone in my thinking even if no one wants to admit it...

We all have our strong points. I see women with expensive things and think how much debt they might be in. I also assume that the majority of thin women have much more free time than I do. I work full time, run kids to activities, go to school part time. If I had more than 4 or 5 hours a week to work out and cook, I'd sure be thinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am almost obese. I don't think most thin women "care" what I weigh.

But. I am absolutely certain that a subset of control-freak status Barre Class thin women care. They shun me at the private school my DD attends in Ward 3 -- and have from the start of school. It cannot be for any other reason than my appearance, in case you're wondering (ie, our DHs do the same types of jobs, our HHI is the same, we live in the same area, I am nice and fun and personable, etc etc etc).

How sad that anyone is judging her own self-worth based on the kind of job her HUSBAND does. Pathetic.

Of course. It's not like they want to spend the time and effort to actually do a career themselves. Please.

[Anonymous]

I would say I am average size, except for that other post. I am a healthy weight for my height.

I guess I am judgemental about larger size people, and some are my friends. Not so much that I ignore them, but I do get frustrated because their health is deteriorating, and their kids - same age a mine, do not get the benefit of a healthy adult engaged in physical activity with them. When the biomechanics start to fail because of weight, I understand the spiral of weight gain because movement is curtailed. But then, I wonder why there is no corresponding reduction in calories going in.

When I gain 5 lbs, I get more active, watch what I eat and try to lose it. I know pounds can creep on, and when you notice your, 20lbs up, and small adjustments in behavior don't do much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say I am average size, except for that other post. I am a healthy weight for my height.

I guess I am judgemental about larger size people, and some are my friends. Not so much that I ignore them, but I do get frustrated because their health is deteriorating, and their kids - same age a mine, do not get the benefit of a healthy adult engaged in physical activity with them. When the biomechanics start to fail because of weight, I understand the spiral of weight gain because movement is curtailed. But then, I wonder why there is no corresponding reduction in calories going in.

When I gain 5 lbs, I get more active, watch what I eat and try to lose it. I know pounds can creep on, and when you notice your, 20lbs up, and small adjustments in behavior don't do much.

I'm about 15 or 20 pounds overweight, and I can answer this. It's because for some of us, it's not as simple as calories in, calories out. We eat to celebrate, when we're stressed or bored. I know I will gain weight when I eat a certain way, and even though I'd rather not gain weight, I eat it anyway. It's like many people and money: they know they're going to hate it when the credit card bill comes, but they want to buy X.

What is your weakness?

[Anonymous]

You can be fat even without emotional eating.

I know some thin women judge because of the dirty looks when I eat in public. There are some women who seem completely nonplussed by my size (2X) and it's clearly the only thing they perceive. This is waaay more common in DC.

It's also not uncommon for acquaintances to "forget" I'm fat and express anxiety and condemnation about their own weight. It's obvious that being my size is their worst nightmare, and they're convinced they'll lose everything and be unworthy if that happens. The fog is so thick that the evidence of a happily married, physically and socially active, sexually satisfied fat woman standing next to them just doesn't penetrate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As an obese woman who is now not obese...I will be honest and say that yes, I do notice obese women and while I wouldn't say "disgusted", I guess "put off" by them would be appropriate and I am don't think I am alone in my thinking even if no one wants to admit it...

We all have our strong points. I see women with expensive things and think how much debt they might be in. I also assume that the majority of thin women have much more free time than I do. I work full time, run kids to activities, go to school part time. If I had more than 4 or 5 hours a week to work out and cook, I'd sure be thinner.

Some of us are just naturally this way. I weigh 110 pounds non-pregnant/nursing, and I don't exercise AT ALL unless you count taking care of 2 kids ages 4 & 1. My mom STRUGGLES to weigh a minimum of 100 pounds, because this is what her doctor wants her to weigh.

I think I'm actually pretty understanding of overweight people though because I KNOW that I don't do anything to "earn" my thinness. I am just lucky. And if I were naturally overweight, then I know exercise and eating carrots and celery all day long would be very difficult for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As an obese woman who is now not obese...I will be honest and say that yes, I do notice obese women and while I wouldn't say "disgusted", I guess "put off" by them would be appropriate and I am don't think I am alone in my thinking even if no one wants to admit it...

We all have our strong points. I see women with expensive things and think how much debt they might be in. I also assume that the majority of thin women have much more free time than I do. I work full time, run kids to activities, go to school part time. If I had more than 4 or 5 hours a week to work out and cook, I'd sure be thinner.

I just want to say that even if you're busy, it is totally worth it to dedicate time to yourself. I was always "too busy" and now work out five days a week. I just work it in, like showering, eating and sleep. I spend a lot less time cleaning. Healthy cooking doesn't take a long time, but you do have to plan.I spend 3-4 hours per week total on food planning, shopping and cooking. Maybe a little extra for clean up. I am not thin (about 20 pounds overweight) but not that long ago I was sixty pounds overweight. I have had to make some sacrifices (I do no playdates or social engagements on weekend mornings, I go to sleep early if I need to work out in the morning, I say no to lunch invites if I had planned to workout, or if the group is going someplace I'd rather not eat....) What I did is start with something manageable - 3 days a week. One day at lunch, one day before work, one day on the weekend. And once that became part of my routine I easily added another day, then another! And I do think that little things add up...so get a pedometer, and add a few extra steps to your routine.

[Anonymous]

Having been both fat and thin throughout my lifetime and can say with 100% certainty that people are/have been much nicer to me when I have been thin.

It's not as noticeable now that I am older but I was a fat kid who lost a ton of weight in college (go figure) and when I came home people who were never particularly friendly to me in the past, all of the sudden became so. I found it jarring and depressing.

[Anonymous]

OP if you've been on DCUM for any length of time you'd know why. I'm not going to post links but there are often posts on here posing questions to overweight women usually along the lines of why they let themmselve get so heavy etc etc.
FWIW I'm not overweight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can be fat even without emotional eating.

I know some thin women judge because of the dirty looks when I eat in public. There are some women who seem completely nonplussed by my size (2X) and it's clearly the only thing they perceive. This is waaay more common in DC.

It's also not uncommon for acquaintances to "forget" I'm fat and express anxiety and condemnation about their own weight. It's obvious that being my size is their worst nightmare, and they're convinced they'll lose everything and be unworthy if that happens. The fog is so thick that the evidence of a happily married, physically and socially active, sexually satisfied fat woman standing next to them just doesn't penetrate.

I've had the same experience. One moment that has stuck with me was my 2 best friends in high school talking disgustedly about how they couldn't believe 14 was the average clothing size for US women because it is sooooooo huge and gross, etc. I said, "I wear a 14." Cue awkward silence followed by a lame, "well, you don't look it..."

It's amazing how often people will chatter obliviously to me about how disgusting some celebrity is for gaining weight, or how they're so disgusted with themselves because they still have 7 pounds of baby weight to lose and feeling their thighs touch is soooooo nasty! I just smile and nod because I honestly don't think they mean any offense. In their minds, they're not talking about me - the obese person standing in front of them - but rather about fatness in general.

Anyway, that's why I think thin women care, because many of them talk about it all the time. But I don't necessarily think they care that I, personally, am obese.