From a Brand New Mom to Expectant Moms. . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Think the worse-so you're not disappointed. The first 6 months are pure "hell". I'm not trying to scare anyone, but no one tells you how bad you'll feel, or how you'll question yourself as to why you wanted a baby, how it affects your marriage, and how lonely the days are. Having said that, if you can get through the first 6 months, a right a passage for a new mother AND father, you'll wonder how you ever lived without this child, how the big concerns in our life take a backseat, how much closer you feel to your spouse and you MIGHT forget some of the hell during the first 6 months.

To see the world through a child's eye is awesome

All experiences are valid, but different! I felt euphoric and happy in the weeks home from the hospital.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you do feel "euphoric" the first few weeks until the lack of sleep, screaming, not eating enough and other inconveniences catch up with you. However, I know of a few people with chill babies who haven't had many problems, so yes, it's possible to "get away" without nearly killing yourself during the first 6 months. Just be prepared for the worst. It's always better to be pleasantly surprised.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you do feel "euphoric" the first few weeks until the lack of sleep, screaming, not eating enough and other inconveniences catch up with you. However, I know of a few people with chill babies who haven't had many problems, so yes, it's possible to "get away" without nearly killing yourself during the first 6 months. Just be prepared for the worst. It's always better to be pleasantly surprised.

I don't know many

My son couldn't sleep, he'd startle himself and wake up. We swaddled but for the life of me I can't remember why it didn't work out the first time, but started swaddling again at 2 months. That gave us a 4 hour break, if that. Then he started breaking free and we were devastated, nearly in tears. I remember one night, and this will sound terrible, but me, my husband and MIL standing over him, and using duct tape to keep him from breaking free (on the swaddler). We took pictures to remind us of those hard days-the one always makes me laugh is my son and husband lying on the bed, asleep, my son swaddled with duct tape along the side. He looked content

However, at 5 months, he started sleeping. To this day, he is a fantastic sleeper, 12 hours a night, sleeps in on the weekends (20 months), takes a 1.5 nap a day, and never fusses when it's time to lie down. We never thought we'd see the day when we could get 6 hours of sleep at night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP-- I am delivering my first in a few weeks. This might be a dumb question, but what is mesh underwear and is this something that I should buy before I go to the hospital? They did not cover this topic in my childbirth class!

There is a TON of stuff that isn't ever covered in those birth class. I wish they would touch base on things like the mesh underwear, the Sitz bath, the lochia that seems to last forever, and all the sweating/peeing that your body goes through to shed the 9 months worth of fluid retention. Even have a brief discussion on PP. Sure, you don't have to focus the whole class on it, but maybe a quick overview. Plus, it would be a great relief to hear about other aspects of L&D than breathing techniques.

Plus, I wish those classes would give a quick overview of newborns fresh out of the oven. Obviously, they don't come out like they do in tv and movies, so it would be nice to know to expect baby acne, jaundice issues, umbilical cord care/infection, circumsicion care, etc.

Sorry for the rant, maybe I just had a lousy teacher for my class and so my experience may be (hopefully) non-typical.

I'm not sure where you took your childbirth class, but most of this was covered in the one I took (Childbirth express at INOVA Fairfax). The nurse even went so far as to model the mesh underwear (over her clothes of course!) and then explained each layer that goes in them (giant pad, ice pack, witch hazel pads). I think it was even more helpful for my husband to see it and hear about how much bleeding there would be and how long it would last.

I also took the baby care class at INOVA and they went over all of the common problems that newborns have and how to care for a baby that's "fresh out of the oven". I'd recommend that class as well, especially if you've never really been around newborns.

The most surprising thing to me was how long it takes babies to eat! You hear that they eat every 2-3 hours, but that's start to start and it sometimes took mine almost 2 hours to eat! So there were times where literally I'd only have a few minutes between feedings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The most surprising thing to me was how long it takes babies to eat! You hear that they eat every 2-3 hours, but that's start to start and it sometimes took mine almost 2 hours to eat! So there were times where literally I'd only have a few minutes between feedings.

Very true. I found myself feeling like I fed constantly. Now, at 3 months, DB is a more efficient feeder and can drain a boob in 15 mins or less.

I second the recommendation to check out the pictures DH sends out. Some very non-flattering pics of me went out. Not attractive at all.

And, FWIW, VHC Arlington had a pretty good Childbirth Prep class. They went over alot of great info for anyone else who is expecting and plans to deliver there.

[Anonymous]

Mom-to-be here as well. If the baby feeds for two hours, why do you have to start feeding so quickly again? Won't it still be full? Is this based on following a feeding/clock schedule?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom-to-be here as well. If the baby feeds for two hours, why do you have to start feeding so quickly again? Won't it still be full? Is this based on following a feeding/clock schedule?

You'd think they'd be full, but somehow they aren't! They're like little hummingbirds and burn off everything they eat immediately. I'm assuming that the caloric content of breastmilk is equal to or less than formula and formula is only 100 calories per 5 oz. When they're newborns they're only having 1-2 oz (their stomachs are tiny) at a time so they're only getting 20-40 calories (or less, I'd assume, for BM) so they really do burn it off quickly.

My DD is only 2 months and is still not on a schedule. I feed her on demand. During the day that's usually every 2 or so hours and at night she goes usually 3 hours without a feeding (although recently she's added a 5 hour stretch at some point during the night and then 3 hours the rest of the night).

[Anonymous]

I'm a new mom to my almost 3-month old baby girl. During her first two months, she would eat so often we called her our "bottomless pit." She was also a very slow eater so by the time I was done feeding her it was almost time to start again. Now she goes 3-4 hours without eating during the day and 5-6 hours at night, to our relief!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom-to-be here as well. If the baby feeds for two hours, why do you have to start feeding so quickly again? Won't it still be full? Is this based on following a feeding/clock schedule?

LOL @ you calling the baby 'it'. I did this for such a long time, and I think DH was worried that I wouldn't bond with DB!

But, I think part of the reason they feed constantly is because they're just not efficient at getting the milk out. (just my opinion, I don't know for sure) Also, I've read that sucking stimulates more milk production, so maybe the constant sucking is necessary to establish a good supply.

[Anonymous]

The postings about checking the pics make me laugh. After seeing lots of unflattering pics of friends, I made DH promise only to send out hospital pics of the baby--NOT of me. He asked if he could send our families hospital pics of me and I agreed. Imagine my surprise when we went to visit my in-laws and they had printed out the bad pics of me in the hospital and put them on their fridge! Ugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just had hemroid surgery and am intimately aware of these. You can buy in any drug store--they fit over the toilet seat and are sort of like a mine bathtub that fits over the top of toilet sit. Are they important? Yes!! I used it several times a day for but healing--you soak your but in water and then use the nozzle to spritz more water (warm) on your but and it promotes healing.. Seriously it does something for swelling and while I had hemroids before delivery that were awful. Some people get them afterwards as wella some people have stiching from an episiotomy. Buy one-it's very useful. FYI--don't try the bath soaking since you have a lot of germs going on and can wind up with a UTI

Actually, if you wash the tub, there will not be a problem. I had fourth degree tears and my doctor recommended NOT using the sitz bath - too much hanging down! It also was somewhat uncomfortable for me. I used Chlorox hard surface spray (mild bleach solution) to spray down the tub. I would sit in the bath for 30-45 minutes at time. It was a miracle and made a huge difference in my healing process!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just had hemroid surgery and am intimately aware of these. You can buy in any drug store--they fit over the toilet seat and are sort of like a mine bathtub that fits over the top of toilet sit. Are they important? Yes!! I used it several times a day for but healing--you soak your but in water and then use the nozzle to spritz more water (warm) on your but and it promotes healing.. Seriously it does something for swelling and while I had hemroids before delivery that were awful. Some people get them afterwards as wella some people have stiching from an episiotomy. Buy one-it's very useful. FYI--don't try the bath soaking since you have a lot of germs going on and can wind up with a UTI

Actually, if you wash the tub, there will not be a problem. I had fourth degree tears and my doctor recommended NOT using the sitz bath - too much hanging down! It also was somewhat uncomfortable for me. I used Chlorox hard surface spray (mild bleach solution) to spray down the tub. I would sit in the bath for 30-45 minutes at time. It was a miracle and made a huge difference in my healing process!

I guess we are all different. I could hardly sit down on the recliner after my experience so I can't imagine sitting down on a hard surface like a bath tub. For me, the sitz bath was a handy invention (probably invented by a post partem mom )

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just had hemroid surgery and am intimately aware of these. You can buy in any drug store--they fit over the toilet seat and are sort of like a mine bathtub that fits over the top of toilet sit. Are they important? Yes!! I used it several times a day for but healing--you soak your but in water and then use the nozzle to spritz more water (warm) on your but and it promotes healing.. Seriously it does something for swelling and while I had hemroids before delivery that were awful. Some people get them afterwards as wella some people have stiching from an episiotomy. Buy one-it's very useful. FYI--don't try the bath soaking since you have a lot of germs going on and can wind up with a UTI

Actually, if you wash the tub, there will not be a problem. I had fourth degree tears and my doctor recommended NOT using the sitz bath - too much hanging down! It also was somewhat uncomfortable for me. I used Chlorox hard surface spray (mild bleach solution) to spray down the tub. I would sit in the bath for 30-45 minutes at time. It was a miracle and made a huge difference in my healing process!

I guess we are all different. I could hardly sit down on the recliner after my experience so I can't imagine sitting down on a hard surface like a bath tub. For me, the sitz bath was a handy invention (probably invented by a post partem mom )

I'm relieved I had a c-section

[Anonymous]

Here are my tips as the mother of a three month old:

(1) Have someone on hand to be your advocate at the hospital in addition to your husband. You never know how hard your labor and recovery will be, and how much help you will need postpartum. I had a hard labor and a difficult recovery. I really wished that I'd had more backup in the delivery room and especially afterwards, when I could not even walk to the bathroom.

(2) Take everything you can from your hospital room, even the little wipe clothes and yes, the mesh underwear. Definitely take the sitz bath.

(3) Be prepared to be flooded with emotion in the first few weeks after delivery. Happy and euphoric one minute, sobbing and anxious the next.

(4) Have plenty of swaddle blankets on hand (I used the Kiddopotamus swaddle blankets and am still using them).

(5) Accept that you will be totally overwhelmed and sleep-deprived for those first few hellish weeks. Look forward to the certainty that it gradually gets better.

(6) If you intend to nurse, learn as much as you can about breastfeeding BEFORE getting to the hospital. Meet with a lactation consultant while you are there so that you don't hurt your nipples feeding your child incorrectly (I did it wrong for the first day and paid the price -- if they tell you no one is availale to show you how to nurse, which is what they told me at Holy Cross, DEMAND to see someone). Have at the ready the number for the Breastfeeding Center, where you can rent a hospital grade pump and buy pretty much every nursing supply known to man. If you have low supply (as I did) don't beat yourself up because you decide to supplement with formula (as I did). Supplementing did not doom my effort to breastfeed my child, although it took a lot of work to build up my supply.

(7) Line up some help for when you get home, even if its just friends bringing over some prepared meals or doing your grocery shopping for you. Let your mother-in-law stay with you (unless she is truly horrible). You will be so grateful for the help.

8 It takes a solid three weeks for your body's healing process to begin taking effect. You will not feel or look even remotely like your former self for a month, unless you had a blessedly easy delivery. I was still incredibly bloated two weeks after delivery. Don't worry -- no matter how messed up you feel and look, things will gradually go back to normal. You are not a movie star with two nannies, a personal trainer and a chef. It takes time.

(9) Stock up on hemmorroid (sp?) wipes, ice packs, heating bottles, advil and the like. Make sure that each bathroom has a supply before you get home from the hospital.

(10) When your help finally leaves and your husband goes back to work and it's just you and the baby....know that you can do it. It is lonely at first and dare I say a tad boring, but by the end of the third month you will be a pro. You will be so totally in love with your baby. Ironically, just when your maternity leave is up (if you are working) you will find that you are finally enjoying your baby's company.

(11) Get ready to for the ride of your life. If you care enough to check this board and slog through all this advice, you are going to love being a mother.

[Anonymous]

I have a 2.5yo and am currently 4.5 mo pg. Based on some pp comments and things I remember:
- I brought long-sleeved/long pants onsies and dressed the baby in them once we were all settled in our room. The nurses kept commenting on how cute they were. You don't have to do this, but it made me feel better to start getting into a routine.
- After delivery I wore my own pj's after taking a shower. Again, some people don't like to, but I felt more like myself with my own clothes on.
- The mesh underwear were great for me!
- Ask for the ice packs and witch hazel pads. My postpartum nurse never told me about the ice packs, so I didn't get them until my dr checked on me hours later. They were in my bathroom, I just didn't know. They looked like big sanitary pads, but if you twist them (they break) and then shake them they will get cold. Felt soooo good down there.
- Oh, also for down there - there is a foam spray that is really cooling you can use and a squeeze bottle that you can fill with warm water to "wash" down there after p'ing each time. I woudl fill it up with warm tap water before using the bathroom and it would feel soooo good.
- As pp said - be careful of pics sent out. This was my fault, but I posted a bunch of pics on kodak gallery and as soon as i sent them out I was looking at them again. I noticed one was right after birth with the dr's/nurses standing by my bed holding DD and at the edge of the pic you could see the cord still hanging out! I deleted it as fast as I could and prayed no one saw it!
- I packed dry snacks and gatorade for DH. I never wanted him to leave me during L&D (it ened up being 30hrs!) so the snacks and drinks helped. He was able to get food delivered during meal times.
- My dr also recommended using a warm bath with dissolved epsom (sp?) salt. Felt soooo good!

Well, ladies thanks for the trip down memory lane and now I have to prepare for that adventure all over again for the next one. It's a fun ride!