Choosing not to be in a parent directory - why or why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I opt out. I rather not have other parents calling or contacting me. Incidents happen where other parents are all talking and seeking information out on one another. I dislike it. I dislike drama. I also have never had a teacher give our where I live or a phone number to another parent. If my child gets invited to anything, the invite is placed in my child's backpack, how it should be done. I understand I may seem cold to some but I'm not. I just like to keep most of my information private.

I tend to be paranoid, but you beat me big time. I think you should realize that in general other parents could not care less about you, what you do and so on. by opting out of the directory, preventing the teacher from giving your info to others who simply want to talk to you, you are creating unnecessary drama and directing attention to you, instead of away from you. I guess other parents would start wondering why all this secrecy. moreover, if a stranger put a message in my child's backpack with an invitation, I would not be positively impressed. when I invite kids, I always contact their parents directly, since as a parent, I want to talk to anybody who invite my child.

I have been in the directory for 4 years now, and happily being ignored by everybody. so, take the plunge, and I am fairly sure your life is not going to change much.......

[Anonymous]

I'm a prosecutor and I'm in the school directory. I'm just not listed in the yellow pages. I've never had a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a prosecutor and I'm in the school directory. I'm just not listed in the yellow pages. I've never had a problem.

Cop and ditto.

[Anonymous]

Our school has quite a few celeb kids and they are all listed in the directory..it must not be so bad or they would opt out. Frankly you look like a pita if you aren't in..you may not care but it will hurt your kid. As I parent I would think ou are a freak and would avoid the situation..so you would be really successful in being left alone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I opt out. I rather not have other parents calling or contacting me. Incidents happen where other parents are all talking and seeking information out on one another. I dislike it. I dislike drama. I also have never had a teacher give our where I live or a phone number to another parent. If my child gets invited to anything, the invite is placed in my child's backpack, how it should be done. I understand I may seem cold to some but I'm not. I just like to keep most of my information private.

I've been in directories for years and other moms never call me to gossip or create drama. All they ever do is call to say "Can your son come over?"

[Anonymous]

Oh lord... the spamming has begun....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our school has quite a few celeb kids and they are all listed in the directory..it must not be so bad or they would opt out. Frankly you look like a pita if you aren't in..you may not care but it will hurt your kid. As I parent I would think ou are a freak and would avoid the situation..so you would be really successful in being left alone

Awww, I think I'll run and cry. I am not even the person who posted about the privacy, but I agree with that poster. I find it hilarious how immature the responses are. "You are a freak". "Everyone else does it, why don't you..."

Some people have convictions and beliefs that do not change to fit what is popular. Do people ever grow up, or is it all about being in the "cool crowd"? Get a clue, and some decent social skills. If you don't have my contact information, then you don't need it. If it's too much of a bother to ask, then spare me your insincere invitation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our school has quite a few celeb kids and they are all listed in the directory..it must not be so bad or they would opt out. Frankly you look like a pita if you aren't in..you may not care but it will hurt your kid. As I parent I would think ou are a freak and would avoid the situation..so you would be really successful in being left alone

Awww, I think I'll run and cry. I am not even the person who posted about the privacy, but I agree with that poster. I find it hilarious how immature the responses are. "You are a freak". "Everyone else does it, why don't you..."

Some people have convictions and beliefs that do not change to fit what is popular. Do people ever grow up, or is it all about being in the "cool crowd"? Get a clue, and some decent social skills. If you don't have my contact information, then you don't need it. If it's too much of a bother to ask, then spare me your insincere invitation.

I love how you deliberately continue to miss the point. No one wants to contact YOU, or invite YOU to anything. But they may want to invite your child somewhere, and in order to do that, they would need to go through you. Your child is the one who is already paying the price. I'm surprised, given how little contact you seem to want with people, that you don't homeschool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My main issue is whether the directory is going to be publicly available online or not.

I am a lawyer and many times my clients, opposing counsel or opposing parties look me up on google. I don't have a problem if they are directed to work related stuff, but I don't want them to know my personal phone number, personal email, the name of my child, or the school where they attend.

Of course I would freely give my email or phone number to any parents that I meet and after the first birthday party, most of them get it in a mass email.

Why do lawyers always get that they are a lawyer into every conversation? Who cares-if your a teacher, a trash man. cashier, doctor your clients can google you too.

[Anonymous]

Bumping this thread to ask a question - my daughter (7, 2nd grade) would really like to invite a classmate over. Said classmate is not in the public school directory but I see her parents' email addresses listed in group / class emails sent to parents by the teacher.

If you chose not to be included in school directory, would you be offended if I reached out to arrange a playdate? Thanks in advance for your responses.

[Anonymous]

Not being in the directory is very annoying. No one has time to hunt down your information for a play date. I don't know any parents that choose to email other parents that they barely know. If you aren't in it, I assume you don't want to be contacted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bumping this thread to ask a question - my daughter (7, 2nd grade) would really like to invite a classmate over. Said classmate is not in the public school directory but I see her parents' email addresses listed in group / class emails sent to parents by the teacher.

If you chose not to be included in school directory, would you be offended if I reached out to arrange a playdate? Thanks in advance for your responses.

We are not in the directory. Its online for everyone to access. I'd love for you to contact us. We had to make the decision for personal reasons and it sucks as we know we aren't invited to things because of it. Please do.

[Anonymous]

Witness protection program. Sorry, can't say any more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bumping this thread to ask a question - my daughter (7, 2nd grade) would really like to invite a classmate over. Said classmate is not in the public school directory but I see her parents' email addresses listed in group / class emails sent to parents by the teacher.

If you chose not to be included in school directory, would you be offended if I reached out to arrange a playdate? Thanks in advance for your responses.

We are not in the directory. Its online for everyone to access. I'd love for you to contact us. We had to make the decision for personal reasons and it sucks as we know we aren't invited to things because of it. Please do.

I understand your qualms. I agree with the PP. Send the email using the addresses that you've seen on group messages. If they truly wanted to be invisible to the group they would be getting bcc'd by the school or not emailed at all. Certainly they would have the wherewithal to set up a dump account if they really felt they needed to be accessible. Don't mention that they're not in the directory, etc. Just send the email with your normal salutation "Hi, This is Larla's mom and we're hoping that Laslo can ...".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bumping this thread to ask a question - my daughter (7, 2nd grade) would really like to invite a classmate over. Said classmate is not in the public school directory but I see her parents' email addresses listed in group / class emails sent to parents by the teacher.

If you chose not to be included in school directory, would you be offended if I reached out to arrange a playdate? Thanks in advance for your responses.

We are not in the directory. Its online for everyone to access. I'd love for you to contact us. We had to make the decision for personal reasons and it sucks as we know we aren't invited to things because of it. Please do.

I understand your qualms. I agree with the PP. Send the email using the addresses that you've seen on group messages. If they truly wanted to be invisible to the group they would be getting bcc'd by the school or not emailed at all. Certainly they would have the wherewithal to set up a dump account if they really felt they needed to be accessible. Don't mention that they're not in the directory, etc. Just send the email with your normal salutation "Hi, This is Larla's mom and we're hoping that Laslo can ...".

I don't mind if someone asks why. We tell them. Its not a secret.