What's the motivation behind wanting to meet up with an ex after many years

[Anonymous]

Watch out. That is how my DH ended up having an emotional affair. He really wasn't intending anything (I believe him), but she is very persistent, has a way with words and kissing ass, etc., and he was having a hard spot in life and we were not doing well in our relationship. It is a slippery slope. He should have known better, so I'm not blaming it all on her. Best to leave it alone.

There are women who need to believe that many ment want them, especially ones they dated. It is an ego thing - they need to think they are impossible to get over. They'll flirt with you, meet you, etc. just to fufill that need even though they may have no intention of actually being with you. Like the pp above - best medicine for them is no contact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Watch out. That is how my DH ended up having an emotional affair. He really wasn't intending anything (I believe him), but she is very persistent, has a way with words and kissing ass, etc., and he was having a hard spot in life and we were not doing well in our relationship. It is a slippery slope. He should have known better, so I'm not blaming it all on her. Best to leave it alone.

There are women who need to believe that many ment want them, especially ones they dated. It is an ego thing - they need to think they are impossible to get over. They'll flirt with you, meet you, etc. just to fufill that need even though they may have no intention of actually being with you. Like the pp above - best medicine for them is no contact.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:if you are seeking a blast from the past, you have the following two things occurring in your life: 1) you presently don't have enough going on in your life, and 2) you are dancing around the idea that you'd like to bang a former gf/bf.

I work 70 hours a week and am go go I on the weekends so it's definitely not that.

#2 is bang on. My ex comes into my work all the time. Dropped 50 lbs. I wanna see what's under that suit.

[Anonymous]

Sex. You were probably good and there was undeniable chemistry. That's the only reason I'd reconnect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It might be totally innocuous. I reconnected with an ex bf through FB. It is wonderful to know that he is okay in life and that we really weren't "meant" for each other, as I had so long believed. It helped the animosity shrivel up, for both of us. Now we occasionally send an email (maybe a few times a year) and that's it.

Did the same thing and we asked each other all these questions we always wanted answered. Both of us felt that it would be better not to communicate in the future.

[Anonymous]

This is why Belle and Sebastian named their b-sides album Push Barman to Open Old Wounds.

[Anonymous]

I could reconnect with my college boyfriend and i have no doubt it would be okay. We broke up, took a break from each other, and then were friendly for years before I left the city we were both living in. We've both gotten married and had kids since and I'd love a catchup chat sometime. I'd be happy to exchange Christmas cards with him. Unfortunately he lives on the other coast, and as best as I can tell is not on Facebook, so the only way I'd find him would be through his work email, which would be weird. Maybe I'll reach out before the next college reunion, but there'd surely be no threat to my marriage.

The boyfriend after him was a huge emotional tumult in my life. There's no way I could safely reconnect with him. Things did not end well, at all. That's a sleeping dog that needs to be let to lie. He actually reached out to me on LinkedIn (we used to work together, have alot of mutual connections and industry friends), but I just ignored the request. No good would come from that one.

[Anonymous]

Oh, God no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:An old girlfriend who dumped me years ago for another guy contacts me every few years and tried to connect on FB. I think for some women it's an ego thing - oh, this guy has never stopped being into me. In my case, I never respond because no attention is the best medicine for someone like her.

That's EXACTLY what it is. About eight years ago I was dumped by a woman who I really liked. Broke my heart. Then about six months later, out of nowhere, she invites me to her birthday party, which of course, is at her place about 45 min away when I'm working. I asked her "what on earth makes you think I'm going to drive 45 min to your party?" She ERUPTED.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I reconnected with an ex boyfriend on FB. We never communicated, I just accepted his friend request. We have tons of mutual friends. On my 40th bday last month, he sent me a message saying he still loves me.

That's lame as fucking hell.

[Anonymous]

No. No reconnect. Just move on.

You cannot cross the river twice. I should have known that.

[Anonymous]

It depends. If the breakup is out of anyone's control, I will be willing be reconnect.

But it was the decision of the ex, no, no, no, thanks.

[Anonymous]

I am friends with most of my ex boyfriends. There's no weirdness, we had good times and are simply friends now.. Not attracted to them at all anymore! What was I thinking? Haha! Now they are like brothers and I value their friendship..

[Anonymous]

Men do it for sex, duh. Married sex for men tends to become less frequent and less adventurous. So of course, they have fond memories of the hot sex they had with the ex when they were both younger, hotter with high libidos.

OP, admit it, the reason you took the meeting was it turned you on.