Another "neighbor is a registered sex offender" question

[Anonymous]

Won't the records be sealed if the victim's name(s) are in there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you can call the police and ask for details on the case and they will tell you. It is possible that it's not prepubescent children and I agree with PP, that's gross but not as scary.

I don't get this thinking at all. My child, who is just as precious and wonderful as any toddler, is 13. He can be hurt just as bady by abuse, and protecting him is just as important to me as it is to you to protect yours, but its way harder to do since developmentally he needs to stretch his week. Most of the high profile cases, and I suspect, the majority of cases of child molestation and child porn involve kids closer to his age.

Why wouldn't someone who targets teens be considered "scary"? Why do you make excuses for them?

[Anonymous]

OP, I was in a similar situation a few years ago - knew the code section of the conviction and nothing else. I called the DA's office for the county he was convicted in and spoke to the prosecutor who handled his case. Just a suggestion that's easier than going to the courthouse.

[Anonymous]

The law should be stricter and those people shouldn't be allowed to live within 1 block of houses with children. I Personally believe that a lifetime in prison or execution is the best solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The law should be stricter and those people shouldn't be allowed to live within 1 block of houses with children. I Personally believe that a lifetime in prison or execution is the best solution.

I never thought I'd be put in a position of defending the rights of sex offenders, but what you are advocating for is in no way workable. "Those people" shouldn't be allowed to live within a block of houses with children? How would you go about enforcing that? Do you want people who have offenses against children knowing exactly where children live? Where should the offenders live, since basically everywhere I have ever lived has been at most a couple houses away from a house with children?

As for the lifetime in prison or execution, please be mindful of the fact that there are people on the registry who are there for reasons that in my opinion do not merit execution. I had boyfriends over the age of consent when I was under the age of consent. So did my sister. My brother's first several girlfriends were significantly younger than him. An 18 year old boy with a 16 year old girlfriend can end up on that list just as easily as a 45 year old man abusing a 7 year old boy can in some states.

Prison is expensive, as well. How would you pay for housing all the people you'd like to lock up? As for execution, I don't believe in capital punishment period, but I would point you to my previous paragraph. I haven't spoken to my older boyfriend from my junior year of high school since I graduated from high school, but I don't believe that what he did was a crime that would merit execution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely mention it to any parent you speak to that has young children. Better for a small minority of weirdo neighbors who will think it's inappropriate to nevertheless be aware than for even 1 child to get molested. Hell, I'd rather every neighbor there hate my guts than 1 child get molested. And if 1 got molested, trust me, you'd never know about it. The parents might never know either.

I would certainly want for you to tell me!! OMG. And here is the absolute bottom line - if he has child porn, he molests children. And wants to molest children. And jerks off fantasizing about children. ugh! gross.

This is the type of speech that makes me hate you. What you said is based completely on speculation and not at all on fact. Are you aware that there are many people who think the human body is beautiful, a work of art? Yes, even a child's body. If you have a gun,, does that mean you definitely murder people and want to murder people? No. Stop spewing your hate. You are so stupid to think that the person on the sex offender registry is the one you have to watch out for and everyone else is "safe."

You are misinformed and ignorant. Keep the spewing of hate to the privacy of your own home. Nobody needs your brand of public service.

[Anonymous]

Child porn is horrible however most men who are into child porn do not molest children.

[Anonymous]

OP, I would definitely do something about it. It's a good idea to do some research and see if you can get more info. Then you can do as the PP suggested and mention the registry (not the guy) to one of the neighbors to see the reaction. If she doesn't already know about the guy, she will look it up and can spread the word.

I also agree with PPs that the registry needs more info. It is so vague that I think we become desensitized. I heard about a guy who was on there. He had just turned 21 and his girlfriend was almost 18. Her father found out that they were having sex and pressed charges for statutory rape. So he is on the registry. My HS/college boyfriend and I had the exact same age difference, and we had sex. blows my mind to think that I could have pressed charges against him for it! And, of course you hear of guys looking at internet porn and might not even realize that the girls are teens. DH looks at porn and I'm sure he has come across some underage girls even though he doesn't seek them out and isn't aware.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you can call the police and ask for details on the case and they will tell you. It is possible that it's not prepubescent children and I agree with PP, that's gross but not as scary.

I don't get this thinking at all. My child, who is just as precious and wonderful as any toddler, is 13. He can be hurt just as bady by abuse, and protecting him is just as important to me as it is to you to protect yours, but its way harder to do since developmentally he needs to stretch his week. Most of the high profile cases, and I suspect, the majority of cases of child molestation and child porn involve kids closer to his age.

Why wouldn't someone who targets teens be considered "scary"? Why do you make excuses for them?

Someone who targets teens -- especially young teens, there's a huge difference between 13 and 17 -- in a predatory way is absolutely scary. The thing is that people can end up on the sex offender registry for being an 18-year-old with naked pictures of a 17-year-old girlfriend, or even for being a 17-year-old with naked pictures of him/herself. And that's a crappy situation, and shouldn't happen.

If there's a way for OP to find out where on the spectrum from 17-year-old with naked self-pics to pictures of toddlers being abused her neighbor is, it would be good to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I would definitely do something about it. It's a good idea to do some research and see if you can get more info. Then you can do as the PP suggested and mention the registry (not the guy) to one of the neighbors to see the reaction. If she doesn't already know about the guy, she will look it up and can spread the word.

I also agree with PPs that the registry needs more info. It is so vague that I think we become desensitized. I heard about a guy who was on there. He had just turned 21 and his girlfriend was almost 18. Her father found out that they were having sex and pressed charges for statutory rape. So he is on the registry. My HS/college boyfriend and I had the exact same age difference, and we had sex. blows my mind to think that I could have pressed charges against him for it! And, of course you hear of guys looking at internet porn and might not even realize that the girls are teens. DH looks at porn and I'm sure he has come across some underage girls even though he doesn't seek them out and isn't aware.

THis happened to a friend of mine in high school. He was a senior, girlfriend was a junior--but there was a 3 yr age gap. 19/16. Her father hated him and pressed statutory rape charges. Big blow up at the time. I wonder if he's on the offender list in that state now.

Some people on the list are scarier than others, and I'd certainly be more cautious about some. It would be nice to have more information first. Photos of 17 yr old girls is still "child" porn--but many 17 yr old girls hardly look like children. Just pick up any issue of Vogue and leaf through it.

[Anonymous]

I would research more but likely not say anything to new neighbors I don't know at all. The information is public. They can look it up themselves. The most I might do is ask them "Have you ever checked the sex offender registry for the area?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This isn't gossiping. 'Did you know so-and-so cheated on his wife?' is gossiping.

OP, I would definitely want to know. But I am guessing that any parents in the neighborhood already know (if they're like me, and familiarize themselves with the offender registry for their area).

Saying "Did you know so-and-so is a sex offender?" is gossiping also. Spin it any way you want, but you're still wrong, and it's still gossip. Passing along information about another person behind their back is gossip. Best way to encourage repeat offenses is to shun people who are out of prison and force them into hostile isolation. Do some research instead of having knee-jerk reactions to something you don't understand.

[Anonymous]

I'd open ended ask if others had checked the registry. That will send anyone concerned running to their computers.

The 17 yr old thing is still creepy. I don't want to wait til my kids are 17 then worry; it's the same thing to me.

"Child porn is horrible however most men who are into child porn do not molest children" Where do you get your info?? You do understand that for every child a person looks at in a pornographic situation- that is one child who is molested/etc... it's not a victimless crime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The 17 yr old thing is still creepy. I don't want to wait til my kids are 17 then worry; it's the same thing to me.

Does it stop being creepy when they turn 18? Honest question. I can totally see being creeped out by the idea that some dude is perving on your 17-year-old, but it would be equally creepy for the same dude to be perving on your kid a year later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn't gossiping. 'Did you know so-and-so cheated on his wife?' is gossiping.

OP, I would definitely want to know. But I am guessing that any parents in the neighborhood already know (if they're like me, and familiarize themselves with the offender registry for their area).

Saying "Did you know so-and-so is a sex offender?" is gossiping also. Spin it any way you want, but you're still wrong, and it's still gossip. Passing along information about another person behind their back is gossip. Best way to encourage repeat offenses is to shun people who are out of prison and force them into hostile isolation. Do some research instead of having knee-jerk reactions to something you don't understand.

Fine, fine, call it gossip then. By your definition, when I told my friend the other day that our mutual friend landed the job that she had been hoping for, I was gossiping then, too. So, I definitely don't see anything wrong with gossip as you define it.

What we are talking about here is being aware of sex offenders on one's street. That is called responsible parenting. Shunning people, forcing them into hostile isolation...what? You're making a huge leap there - no one's talking about doing that.