Every time I see an ultrasound or baby announcement on FB, I want to cry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get on FB anymore. After my son died (stillborn) I was still able to log on and participate, but generally avoided the "happy mom and baby" posts. But it's just too much. So after another late loss and 2 early miscarriages, I've determined it's better for my sanity if I don't log on anymore. It's been over a year now and it feels great.

After all, "Comparison is the thief of joy" -- Teddy Roosevelt, wise man. I try to look at the blessings right in front of me, rather than thinking about what others have.

But I'm still tempted now and then for a little peek at what could have been...

I just want to say that I admire your courage. I won't compare myself to you but will try my very best to follow your lead and think of my own blessings. Just from this one post I can tell what a strong wonderful woman you are and I'm so sorry for all you've been threw.

[Anonymous]

My friend who had miscarriages as I did always told me that babies beget babies. She just felt that each new baby out there was part of the wave of babies that would lead to her having a baby.

Maybe it's not totally rational but I don't think any of our responses to this are totally rational. If you can take her view, please do.

[Anonymous]

I have felt the same pain, OP. Before this, I never realized it was possible to feel so happy and so sad at the exact same moment.

[Anonymous]

I quit Facebook after a chemical pregnancy and a second trimester loss too, for a few reasons. One, I had a whole blog posted about how some things you want don't happen right away, how sometimes we experience loss, but that the gain is that much sweeter later on. I had just one belly photo posted on Mother's Day. I had one comment about prenatal yoga. It's not like I was flaunting pregnancy, but I definitely didn't hide it. So after all that, I had a loss halfway through my pregnancy. Didn't really want others to speculate as to why I wasn't getting bigger or to make any further comments, or even to offer words of sympathy on my wall. So I promptly deactivated as soon as I found out the bad news. Now, I stay off because I don't want to hear others' pregnancy announcements. Even though I didn't suffer much in the way of IF beyond a few initial things that needed tweaking, I have still been through plenty. Like a PP, I managed to get myself back on the horse, so to speak, but have a long road yet with no guarantees, and I do get jealous of other people who are also pregnant because most could never appreciate the pain of what I have been through, and the underlying anger that probably won't abate until I hold a baby in my arms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend who had miscarriages as I did always told me that babies beget babies. She just felt that each new baby out there was part of the wave of babies that would lead to her having a baby.

Maybe it's not totally rational but I don't think any of our responses to this are totally rational. If you can take her view, please do.

I kind of agree with that. Unlike many here, I don't get upset when I hear about other people's pregnancies and children. The reason is, though I haven't really spelled this out to myself before, that these are not my children, so it's not like I want to have what they are having (their children).

I am probably different from many in that I also don't care to adopt or use DE (and that I do have a child), so maybe that has something to do with it as well.

[Anonymous]

I get insanely jealous of people who get pregnant on accident or right away when trying. As much as I am happy for them, it is just hard news for me to swallow. I wish I didn't have those feelings but I just do. Sigh.

[Anonymous]

One of my best friends is 40 weeks with her first baby today and posted a picture of her ready to burst belly on fb. I called her to tell her how excited I am for her (and I truly am), then started crying after I hung up. She got pregnant within 2 months of going off the pill. I keep hoping this is a horrible nightmare that I'll wake up from.

[Anonymous]

OP I've been married over 3 years and am in my mid20s, struggling with IF. I know the questions about kids won't stop for 10+ years to come, especially when meeting new people. It stings and I'm sorry you're having to go through it too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get insanely jealous of people who get pregnant on accident or right away when trying. As much as I am happy for them, it is just hard news for me to swallow. I wish I didn't have those feelings but I just do. Sigh.

Could have written this exact thing!

[Anonymous]

I am a mom who was one of those people who got pregnant on the Pill. I cannot imagine how difficult it must make you feel to hear this type of news (women getting pregnant so easily/quickly). Just wanted to let you know that I felt like I had as little control over my body as you might be feeling about yours. It was very unplanned and it took me a while to figure out what to do (I ended up keeping the baby). The last person I told was my friend who had been TTC for many years. I told her in person with nobody else around b/c I had a feeling she would cry about it. She did and I truly felt her pain. I don't know why things happen the way they do. I've tried to have a second child and haven't been able to so I know the frustration/pain/anxiety. Best of luck to you and everyone who is trying so hard to have a baby. What good moms you will be.

[Anonymous]

oP I feel your heartache too. I do have one dc but lost a baby in May, early on. It was a shock, horrible feeling and I had mainly members expecting dc too. I see pregnant women everywhere, especially at kids events. I am apply for them but jealous. I think it is natural to feel ta way. I dread on to TTY. Good luck to you. Just know you are not alone.

[Anonymous]

In the middle of my IVF treatments, my best friend had a very unplanned, unwanted pregnancy (she wanted to only have one, and the one she already had was a nightmare on wheels). She called after her 16-week ultrasound to tell me that she was having TWINS. Twin girls. I did my cheerleader routine, talked about this wonderful future she would have with her daughters, then hung up and cried for an hour. Life is hard sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Just got online and saw this... my feelings exactly right now. SIL who already has a one year old called tonight to tell me she is 9 weeks pregnant, "unplanned" and "shocked" (of course). I said all the right things, but had to turn around and go home (was on my way to the store) so I could break down. And this is after I found out yesterday another friend is pregnant with her second in two years. Hubby tried to be comforting but after my 600th snotty sob of "it's not f--king fair", he just gave up. I may have also said something about wanting to punch people in the face. Oops. It helps to see this post and know that even though it seems like I am totally alone in this, there are others that don't have it easy and unplanned, either.

[Anonymous]

There are days where I seriously consider giving up Facebook. One of my friends just sent an email saying she's expecting her 2nd. I haven't written back yet and probably won't for a few days. I might say things about punching people too. Oops.

[Anonymous]

I think about punching people too. A lot. Not sure that its healthy but it empowers me. IF takes away my power but punching a bag gives me some relief. Of course everyone in my kickboxing class thinks it is bc I have stressful job... a secret second job that costs me money and pieces of my soul its called IF.