I have 2 girls, and no I am not trying for a boy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You get stupid comments no matter what. We have twins, one boy and one girl. People "congratulate" me on my great job, and say things like "you got it done all at once" or "now you're all set!"

As if I had any control over this! So weird.

Yup, people make stupid comments whether it's one kid or more than one. We have a girl and a boy and I have heard, "oh, one of each!" and "now you're done!" so many times.

[Anonymous]

yup, the only acceptable family is one boy and one girl. You didn't get that memo?

I have one child and have been trying for years to have a second - we have secondary infertility. Although, once your first gets past about 4 years old, people do generally stop asking "when are you going to have another?" They assume you're "mean" and "dooming" your child to be a "lonely only" Because only children are "weird" or whatever.

[Anonymous]

So, in sum: people should not make comments on the composition of another person's family. It's rude and inappropriate. It is not a benign small talk topic like the weather. Why people do not understand this is beyond me.

[Anonymous]

I posted before - thrilled with my two girls but would have been absolutely fine with two boys or one of each. I actually think it's worse for moms of multiple boys, no girls. Like it is sad they don't have a daughter. I have two girls so don't this comment but a lot of my friends do. Seems silly - I'm sure most moms are thrilled with their boys. I've also had girlfriends say to me they'd be sad if they didn't have a daughter...but I think that's easy to say in the abstract. Once you have a daughter of course you can't imagine not having her, but I'm sure you'd feel the same way about a son.

My husband is fine with two girls. He would have liked a boy but it's not a big deal to either of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I posted before - thrilled with my two girls but would have been absolutely fine with two boys or one of each. I actually think it's worse for moms of multiple boys, no girls. Like it is sad they don't have a daughter. I have two girls so don't this comment but a lot of my friends do. Seems silly - I'm sure most moms are thrilled with their boys. I've also had girlfriends say to me they'd be sad if they didn't have a daughter...but I think that's easy to say in the abstract. Once you have a daughter of course you can't imagine not having her, but I'm sure you'd feel the same way about a son.

My husband is fine with two girls. He would have liked a boy but it's not a big deal to either of us.

Just to clarify - by "it's worse" I mean the perception that a mom of two or more boys is sad. NOT that it is actually worse. I recently met a couple who have three (adorable) boys and I thought it was so cool. If I had multiple boys it would probably chill me out a bit!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted before - thrilled with my two girls but would have been absolutely fine with two boys or one of each. I actually think it's worse for moms of multiple boys, no girls. Like it is sad they don't have a daughter. I have two girls so don't this comment but a lot of my friends do. Seems silly - I'm sure most moms are thrilled with their boys. I've also had girlfriends say to me they'd be sad if they didn't have a daughter...but I think that's easy to say in the abstract. Once you have a daughter of course you can't imagine not having her, but I'm sure you'd feel the same way about a son.

My husband is fine with two girls. He would have liked a boy but it's not a big deal to either of us.

Just to clarify - by "it's worse" I mean the perception that a mom of two or more boys is sad. NOT that it is actually worse. I recently met a couple who have three (adorable) boys and I thought it was so cool. If I had multiple boys it would probably chill me out a bit!

Yes, there is this perception. (I'm the PP with 3 boys). During my 3rd pregnancy, I had strangers insist that I must be disappointed to be having a third boy. Um, no, sorry to disappoint YOU and your stereotypes. I have a friend who just had her third girl, and the comments she got were that *her husband* must be so disappointed. My hypothesis is that this is because a lot of people feel very invested in gender-segregated hobbies, entertainment, and activities, and feel that they won't get to do anything they enjoy with their opposite-sex child. We're not like that in my house. My husband does not watch sports or have any other stereotypically male hobbies; I don't get manicures or spend a lot of time shopping recreationally. We are both able to spend time with our children doing things that all of us enjoy. I am so happy and grateful to have three beautiful, healthy children. We are all missing out on something in this life by virtue of the fact that we cannot do and be everything. But true happiness is about being able to embrace the life you have.

[Anonymous]

I just say the dogs are boys. That usually shuts them up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well I have 2 girls and do actually want a boy. I wanted DD#2 to be a boy and be done. It's really annoying when people ask since it's something I want very badly and obviously have no control over

I agree with this. I have two boys. You can tell when people just say that comment just to make conversation or if they really think I should have had a girl. It's usually the older generation that seem to insist on letting me know what I'm missing out by not having a girl (another girl to relate to as the mother, and a girl to help take care of the parents at old age).

[Anonymous]

Yep. I have 1 of each and I've heard "a son is a son until he gets a wife, a daughter is a daughter all her life."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just say the dogs are boys. That usually shuts them up.

haha - we have a male cat and a female dog. we've REALLY messed with the order of things.

[Anonymous]

Two boys here. I am a woman that always wanted all boys. I actually thought 3 boys would be my ideal--but then scared I'd get a girl.

My sister has 3 boys and I hope mine turn out as great as hers did. Two of hers are already entering college.

I don't get asked that often. It is more 'are you going to have another'...maybe there is an implication that it is because I don't have a girl but I certainly haven't taken it that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, in sum: people should not make comments on the composition of another person's family. It's rude and inappropriate. It is not a benign small talk topic like the weather. Why people do not understand this is beyond me.

and why people get annoyed by comments or questions like the ones bitched about here is beyond me. i think we would all be better off if we stopped reading too much into questions people ask to make conversation and just get over themselves. the truth is, very few people in the universe are out to get you.

[Anonymous]

I'm also Chinese. We struggled for years and finally in our late 40's we had twin boys. We are so pleased to be parents, but, frankly, we are done. We knew this was our "last chance" to have children and we were so happy. And, yet, despite the fact that we always joked that we were more likely to be confused for the grandparents that for the parents, we still get asked frequently "are you going to try for a girl?" or "are you disappointed by two boys?" or "ooh...double trouble...especially two boys." and "you have your hands full!"

It's amazing the silly things that people say just to make conversation. People should learn that the composition of ones family is rarely ever good small talk. Saying nice things about the children is. Leave it at that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, in sum: people should not make comments on the composition of another person's family. It's rude and inappropriate. It is not a benign small talk topic like the weather. Why people do not understand this is beyond me.

and why people get annoyed by comments or questions like the ones bitched about here is beyond me. i think we would all be better off if we stopped reading too much into questions people ask to make conversation and just get over themselves. the truth is, very few people in the universe are out to get you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, in sum: people should not make comments on the composition of another person's family. It's rude and inappropriate. It is not a benign small talk topic like the weather. Why people do not understand this is beyond me.

and why people get annoyed by comments or questions like the ones bitched about here is beyond me. i think we would all be better off if we stopped reading too much into questions people ask to make conversation and just get over themselves. the truth is, very few people in the universe are out to get you.

They don't have to be out to get you. It is still completely normal to be annoyed and offended by a comment that implies or states outright that I should be disappointed by the gender composition of my family because such a comment is RUDE. You don't even have to read anything into a lot of these comments for them to be offensive! If someone asks "are you going to try for a [boy/girl]?" that's one thing, but that is not all people say. When I tell someone I'm having a boy and they say, "oh, I'm so sorry," or "oh, are you disappointed?", I shouldn't be offended by that? Because I've gotten both of those, and more. Just because someone is "trying to make conversation" or whatever their lame ass excuse is, does not mean they are not being uncouth.