So, single moms with day jobs. Let's talk adolecense.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps a neighbor or friend can provide care? You can pay a small amount each week, they "babysit" and provide a nap.

[Anonymous]

PP. No nap, meant to say snack. Neighbor or friend with kids of a similar age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP,

A friend of mine hired a college student as a "driver." So her kids had a ride to and from activities and the kids were told that the "driver" was not a babysitter so there were no friends allowed over after school. If the kids had finished hw and activities and wanted to go somewhere, the mall, a friend's house etc., they had to call mom and get permission before the "driver" would be allowed to take them. That worked until both kids were 16 and could drive, but by then they were through that scary MS angsty period. The "driver" was more than aftercare, but not much more.

Not OP. This makes so much sense, thanks for sharing this idea.

Love this!

[Anonymous]

Our middle school has after care, so that's good. After that, not sure what we'll do. Probably keep them busy with sports and activities after school.

[Anonymous]

Mine go to a private school where there is aftercare for MS students, or they have music lessons after school. The upper school isn't over until 5:30, which is when I pick them both up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'm asking what the single parents who make five figures are going to do about tht time when their kids are too old for aftercare but too young for us to really be comfortable with their lack of supervision between when school lets out and when we get home.

Talk to me about how you have handled (or think you will handle...or heard about how someone else handled) this.

So from 12-28?
I'm thinking about dropping to part time.
But also I am counting in inheritance showing up at some point- which means it will probably never happen.

[Anonymous]

I worried about this so much when my son was 9 and 10. We ended up moving to be in a better school district, and it came down to 2, one of which had aftercare in MS and one of which didn't. I chose the one who did, thinking I'd sign him up, and rented an apartment in the neighborhood.

But by the time we got there, he had grown up so much and was really ready for more freedom. We experimented with him coming home alone from camp the summer before sixth and he and I both felt good about it.

Sixth grade he kept pretty close to home. He'd come home, call me, have a snack, walk the dog, play video games, do homework etc . . . I worried he was lonely but he said he liked it. In seventh he was more comfortable going to the park to meet friends, he joined a gym and would walk there to work out, or he'd run errands for me. He's also signed up for a number of activities like the school play and a travel sport that take a lot of time. A lot of it's walking distance, or I find a carpool and juggle schedules to sneak out at work at 4:00 one day. We'll see how eighth grade goes, but I feel confident that as long as he's busy he'll be OK.

I worry more about high school, when hormones are in full swing, but he's got his head screwed on right so to speak now, and so I hope he still will in a couple years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our middle school has after care, so that's good. After that, not sure what we'll do. Probably keep them busy with sports and activities after school.

I use to go home and have sex. Glad I have a son.

[Anonymous]

We are going to try being a latchkey kid for 90 minutes. We are in a safe neighborhood and the bus drops him off in front of the house. From there he will have to check in immediately, make himself a snack and start homework. I expect the majority of he to be done by the time I get home. If this doesn't work, we will look for a plan b.

For now we still have one more year of grade school and after school care. The thought of middle school makes me nervous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here. It's definitely stressful to think about. A couple of things we did was to get our oldest a cellphone and require him to text as soon as he got home. Then I text back instructions for him - water plants, vacuum, unload the dishwasher, check his grades and send me a report, etc. lots of busy work. One thing about MS is that there hasn't been homework to fill time. After the chores are done, I place no time restrictions on the use of Xbox. And, I check the computer and cellphone texts regularly to see what he's doing. I am pleasantly surprised at how well it's going.

Good lord. What MS does your kid go to where there is no homework to fill the time? I wish we had more balance for the kids at our school. They are crazily swamped with homework.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our middle school has after care, so that's good. After that, not sure what we'll do. Probably keep them busy with sports and activities after school.

I use to go home and have sex. Glad I have a son.

Are the boys not having sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here. It's definitely stressful to think about. A couple of things we did was to get our oldest a cellphone and require him to text as soon as he got home. Then I text back instructions for him - water plants, vacuum, unload the dishwasher, check his grades and send me a report, etc. lots of busy work. One thing about MS is that there hasn't been homework to fill time. After the chores are done, I place no time restrictions on the use of Xbox. And, I check the computer and cellphone texts regularly to see what he's doing. I am pleasantly surprised at how well it's going.

Good lord. What MS does your kid go to where there is no homework to fill the time? I wish we had more balance for the kids at our school. They are crazily swamped with homework.

We're in MCPS in a middle school that has a "pressure cooker" reputation, and I've been pleasantly surprised by how little homework they've had, and how little has been "busy work". Now, my kid is a little anal about homework, and I know he studies with friends at lunch, but he plays a sport 5 days a week that gives him about 2 hours at home between school and practice, and he is able to come home, have a snack, take the dog for an extended walk, and get all his homework done. At least that's what he tells me and since his grades are good and there's no dog poop in my house, I have to assume it's true.

[Anonymous]

My intention is to go part-time. So I need to get my salary higher in the meantime - luckily I have a few years.

[Anonymous]

Please link to the referenced Atlantic Article. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Unless she's immature for age, I expect DD to take the Metro home or to meet me (with friends in the same boat) like I did in middle school. She's at PreK-8 school though. Around 7th grade, I would probably give her the option of going to aftercare or going home. I expect to shift my hours earlier so that she's not alone for long.

Of course, what will probably happen is my ex will panic and decide to pick her up himself from school.