My Mother is NUTS!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!
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Anonymous
| The whole situation sounds odd, both your mother's behavior and yours. I don't understand why you would immediately need to go make the pizza dough without spending a few minutes to catch up and say hi. I also don't understand why your mom would not want to stick with the original plan in order to spend time with her grandchild, even if she is irritated at you. Why don't you call her and talk to her and tell her you would like her to stay? |
Anonymous
| Hey OP, how did things turn out? |
Anonymous
What are you smoking? She was trying to rest. Her mother hadn't indicated time of arrival. Communication could certainly have been better, both ways, but OP is not the one overreacting here. |
Anonymous
|
"If it's not important enough for you to say it directly to me, it must not be important at all."
Learn it. Live it. Love it. |
Anonymous
Why couldn't her mom have hung out and chatted in the kitchen while the dough was being made? That's what mine would have done. Actually, mine would have offered to help. |
Anonymous
| You have heard a bunch of the same thing but I will opine. If I was coming for an invited visit and you barely spoke with me and then went about making pizza dough without talking and being friendly .I'd find it strange. As for the "I am sleepy" come one grow up. You say as mom walks in that you were just having a lovely nap..could you you run upstairs to freshen up and give her a big hug. Sorry op you sound like drama and good for your mom that she ain't having it..she could be with someone whomismhappy to see her. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
Drama queen = her mom. Best way to deal with drama queen = ignore. |
Anonymous
I disagree. Dealing with passive aggressive behavior is a very tricky matter. Since OP's mom has not brought it up with her directly, I would be very hesitant to address the issue until mom does. Otherwise, you might just reward/reinforce the passive aggressive behavior some more. OP is not responsible for mom's feelings. It's mom's responsibility to tell her how she is feeling. |
Anonymous
| OP, did you ask your mom to join you in the kitchen to chat while you made the dough? If you just excused yourself and went into the kitchen, then I think that behavior set a bad tone for the visit. Of course, your mom should have returned to your house after golf and tried to see what was up with you. |
Anonymous
| OP, I am sorry to say you sound pretty much as passive agressive as your mom...see, you are going out of your way to prepare a nice dinner for her, and that's probably too much on you b/c when she arrives you look sullen and a bit unfriendly...she also acts P.A. and it just keeps going... |
Anonymous
| Having a passive aggressive mother is frustrating, hurtful, and at times enraging. If OP's mother has always been like this and this is not an isolated incident, then there's history there. OP is likely hurt to be treated by her mother like this. In my opinion, the best way to deal with anyone who's passive aggressive is to confront them directly. Not in a mean way, but direct. "I heard from so and so that you are upset that (insert problem)." Let her respond. Ask why she didn't tell you directly. Tell her it was a misunderstanding, that you did those things because (explanation) and didn't mean to Hirt her feelings, and if she told you directly then you would have had a chance to explain yourself. Tell her it hurt your feelings that she discussed this with your sister and husband without bringing it up with you directly and in the future you hope she'll bring it up directly with you. If she's truly PA, she'll be uncomfortable and embarrassed by this conversation but you know what? She's an adult and needs to be responsible for her own feelings and actions. Good luck. |
Anonymous
no words of wisdom to offer just impressed that your husband and mother get along so well |
Anonymous
|
OP,
Are you Italian? I know not ONE "American" pal who makes pizza dough from scratch. |
Anonymous
Turned out well, mom just left to go home. I immediately pulled her aside when she returned from golf and asked her why she had circled around me and if she had an issue with my behavior why did she not confront me directly. She immediately started back peddling at 90MPH and minimized her role. I've had this conversation in the past with her about all the sibling conversations behind each other's backs and reminded her once again that the back channel talking is not appreciated and not healthy. She again apologized as she was leaving just now. She knows very well that my sister and I talk and she uses this as a way to indirectly communicate with the person who is offending her. For instance, if she is pissed at my sister, she calls me, knowing I'll call my sister...Its like using smoke signals to communicate with someone, very frustrating! All of us kids have told her loud and clear to cut it out, my sister even told her that yesterday when she started in. To other posters who might think I'm passive-agressive, that could not be farther from the truth. I prefer to always know where I stand with people and I don't like to be kept guessing, nor will I do that to other people. Making pizza dough that takes 2hrs to rise at 3:30, is not a passive aggressive behavior, it is a necessary step if you want to eat dinner early when you have small kids! My kitchen is fully open to the family room, so yes, my mom was in there with me when I was making it and was even asking me questions about how I do my dough. In the end, we all had a nice and pleasant meal. I definitely had this looming in my mind, but I sucked it up and carried on as if nothing was wrong. To the PP, yes I am American, not Italian, and I do make my own dough. It is very easy to make....All I use is 1 packet yeast, about 2 cups water, and 2 cups WW flour, and 2 cups Bread Flour. It makes the best thin crust and freezes up beautifully. |