SIL and Baby Photos

[Anonymous]

Meanwhile, the economy is tanking, thousands of veterans families are learning to adjust to life without parent X, the election had become a strange farse (honestly, from the outside it looks like lame reality TV), the Middle-East is waiting to implode, Europe is on the brink of potential crisis and your SIL annoyed you. I'm just devestated for you.

I think there's a lesson here that you might want to share with your DC: if you don't want others to access/publish/change/use/view/change personal information then don't put it out there. And not withstanding the fact that your SIL might be a festering idiot, might it just be that she wants to be part of the huge fuss of having a first grandchild. Might she have just thought it was a nice thing to do?

What I've learned about family is: unless it's a deal breaker, don't sweat the small stuff; sometimes the right (but not easy) thing to do is to be kind when you could justifyingly (not sure if that's a word) be snotty; you might think everyone/someone else is quite wrong. Really?? Are you always right?; it's a baby album - not soemone trying to burn your house down.

I suggest perspective OP. Tell her it's lovely that she's taking such an interest in your baby. Be nice. It's extrodinary the extent to which one's effort to be nice to people comes back in kind.

[Anonymous]

is SIL sister of your DH or she married your brother?

meaning, did she gift your MIL with the book?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meanwhile, the economy is tanking, thousands of veterans families are learning to adjust to life without parent X, the election had become a strange farse (honestly, from the outside it looks like lame reality TV), the Middle-East is waiting to im

Whoops sorry to cut off your self righteous blabbering but do you post this on every thread on this parenting forum? Oddly enough you made some good points. In the future you should learn to get to those points and save the whining for an audience that will be impressed.

[Anonymous]

I would be annoyed. My SIL, who I love dearly, made a "family" book for my girls. She included one picture of me, and one picture of my parents and my sister together, and then a bunch of pics of her mother and their side of the family. I get that she was trying to represent their side, but if it's a "family" book, I wish it had been a LITTLE more balanced, there were plenty of pics of my parents and sister to choose from.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, I am sorry OP. This is the kind of crazy thing my SIL would do. I live in a constant world of weird with her. So sorry this happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:is SIL sister of your DH or she married your brother?

meaning, did she gift your MIL with the book?

My husbands sister gave it to my MIL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:is SIL sister of your DH or she married your brother?

meaning, did she gift your MIL with the book?

My husbands sister gave it to my MIL

Well, that's weird.

It's also not a hill to die on. Roll your eyes to yourself and move on.

[Anonymous]

Can I change the password to the site and then if she asks for it I can mention that if she wants to do another yearly album she should ask me for pics so she doesn't use what I have already used...or is that bad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can I change the password to the site and then if she asks for it I can mention that if she wants to do another yearly album she should ask me for pics so she doesn't use what I have already used...or is that bad?

I mean...you can. Sure. They're your photos. That's one way to go.

Here's another way to go: you can decide that the existence of another album doesn't devalue your album. You can decide that your album doesn't need to be exclusive in order to be amazing. You can decide that you're not going to waste your time and energy on this issue.

Option one: has a high likelihood of straining your relationship with your SIL, but you have a decent chance of having the only photo album with those pics. You may or may not be happy overall.

Option two: you will be happy overall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, is you MIL on Facebook and connected?

Maybe your sister in law printed out the pictures for her so she could see them?

This. maybe she wanted your MIL to see what was on Facebook because your MIL didn't have it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can I change the password to the site and then if she asks for it I can mention that if she wants to do another yearly album she should ask me for pics so she doesn't use what I have already used...or is that bad?

I mean...you can. Sure. They're your photos. That's one way to go.

Here's another way to go: you can decide that the existence of another album doesn't devalue your album. You can decide that your album doesn't need to be exclusive in order to be amazing. You can decide that you're not going to waste your time and energy on this issue.

Option one: has a high likelihood of straining your relationship with your SIL, but you have a decent chance of having the only photo album with those pics. You may or may not be happy overall.

Option two: you will be happy overall.

I agree with this pp. Take option 2. It's the high road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can I change the password to the site and then if she asks for it I can mention that if she wants to do another yearly album she should ask me for pics so she doesn't use what I have already used...or is that bad?

Really? Block your husbands sister from seeing pictures of your child because she copied photos of your baby (the only grandchild) to give to your husbands mother?

I'm only the only person who thinks this utterly fucking insane?

[Anonymous]

949 why so vulgar? It was just a question. Yes I wanted to block her until I had a chance to say what I wanted to say about it. Then I would give her access again and move on.

However 945 is right. It burns my biscuits to just not say anything at all though. But 945 is correct.

[Anonymous]

Honestly OP, it is a tough situation but here are my thoughts.

Does your MIL have Facebook? Maybe somebody gushed to MIL about a pic you posted and she mentioned that she did not see it. So maybe your SIL was trying to keep her in the loop. With my parents, I have to print the pictures out and physically give them the pics.

One thing you need to remember though, DC is your child but she also belongs to a family. Sometimes those family members will go overboard, will step on toes and will do obnoxious things. But if their hearts are in the right place, they don’t jeopardize her health and they do these things because of their love for your DC, you gotta develop a thicker skin about it.

I would be annoyed about it, but I would not fall on my sword over it. And I certainly would NOT take away her FB access. That’s just petty.

[Anonymous]

Switch to a photo-sharing platform that doesn't allow people to download images without a password. Apple's MobileMe has theirs option, but thats ending with the new iCloud and I haven't switched over yet so am not sure it will still be a feature.