SIL and Baby Photos

[Anonymous]

It's weird, but whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My SIL took online photos of my baby and made a first year album for her mother...complete with captions. I don't know if she did this before I gave my MIL a first year album or after but I don't care. I am annoyed. I feel it was out of line and stepping on my toes. My sister agrees. My mother thinks I am just mad because I have a problem with my SIL so I am looking for a reason to be mad. No, I am mad because I just feel it wasn't her place to do that. She has only seen the baby once. How is she captioning photos based on what I wrote online?

I would be interested to hear what others think.

I did that once too. Well, not quite the same thing, but I gave my MIL a coffee mug with pictures of her grandkids for Xmas. At that time, I didn't have kids. My SIL, also gave her mom a mug with pictures of her son only. I can't be 100% sure, but I think my SIL didn't get annoyed with the fact that I included some pics of her son on my gift too.

[Anonymous]

Make her promise she will do the same for your second and third kid. I would love it if my SIL did that for my second kid. By the second and third kid everyone is just happy that any album exists. You are going to wonder 10 years from now why this even made you mad.

[Anonymous]

Pretty sure you should thank you SIL for being so thoughtful, even if you thought it was weird. Imagine, somebody doing something nice for your MIL and you didn't have to lift a finger.
Also, who has time for scrapbooking? Can I assume you are a SAHM with only one kid?

[Anonymous]

Only you know your relationship with your SIL and if it's strained. If my SIL did this for her mom, I don't think it would be a big deal ( and plus, saves me the trouble of making one!!) but if scrapbooking etc is your thing, I could see how you would get upset.

I do think the 2 albums can co-exist though. I'm sure yours is fabulous (no snark intended, but I'm guessing given your hobbies that it will have tons of captions, borders, etc), and your SIL's won't have all the bells and whistles. MIL can keep one in the office and one at home.

Finally, I agree with the others who say to use the setting on your photosharing site to prohibit downloading. Or only upload small sized photos that don't make good prints (but are OK for sharing).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be happy that I didn't have to do it.

This. This doesn't seem like a bid deal. I'd drop it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be happy that I didn't have to do it.

+1

[Anonymous]

I would be annoyed and I get where you are coming from but if SIL doesn't have kids of her own, I guarantee she wasn't trying to do anything to intentionally irritate you. She just doesn't get it--gifts with your kids pictures are a gift that you should be giving, not her. But she doesn't understand that and likely wont get it until she has kids of her own. I would have your DH address the issue if you decide to address it but I would probably just let it go.

[Anonymous]

It's about the lack of boundaries, isn't it, OP?

What's the SIL have to say about it? What was her reasoning?

I would be block, block, blocking away! No more access for you, Scary SIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can I change the password to the site and then if she asks for it I can mention that if she wants to do another yearly album she should ask me for pics so she doesn't use what I have already used...or is that bad?

Really? Block your husbands sister from seeing pictures of your child because she copied photos of your baby (the only grandchild) to give to your husbands mother?

I'm only the only person who thinks this utterly fucking insane?

I agree. seriously, why ruin a relationship over this?

The album thing is over the top, but it shows enthusiasm for your baby and was done without malicious intent. you're reaction seems extreme- I think your mom is probably right about your feelings about SIL coloring your reaction to this.

[Anonymous]

Well, she should've asked first, probably.

But, you know, as far as projects go this was probably a nice thing to do. It's for grandma, after all, and grandma loves your baby?

I kind of suck at sending pics to grandma. If someone did this for me I'd be thrilled. Well, if someone I liked did this for me, I'd be thrilled.

It's ANNOYING when someone you don't like does something. Maybe it's annoying, in part, because it was nice... but secret? Or maybe just the fact that it was a nice thing for an annoying person to do would churn my butter. I'm petty enough to get annoyed when someone I don't like does something out of character.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's annoying, in part, because it was nice... but secret? Or maybe just the fact that it was a nice thing for an annoying person to do would churn my butter. I'm petty enough to get annoyed when someone I don't like does something out of character.

This reminds me of a Harry Met Sally quote:

"You make it impossible for me to hate you!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly OP, it is a tough situation but here are my thoughts.

Does your MIL have Facebook? Maybe somebody gushed to MIL about a pic you posted and she mentioned that she did not see it. So maybe your SIL was trying to keep her in the loop. With my parents, I have to print the pictures out and physically give them the pics.

One thing you need to remember though, DC is your child but she also belongs to a family. Sometimes those family members will go overboard, will step on toes and will do obnoxious things. But if their hearts are in the right place, they don’t jeopardize her health and they do these things because of their love for your DC, you gotta develop a thicker skin about it.

I would be annoyed about it, but I would not fall on my sword over it. And I certainly would NOT take away her FB access. That’s just petty.

The child "belongs" to the family, but the OP's photos do not. Perhaps the SIL did this trying to be nice, but it seems weird to make a book filled with another person's photos, and it's weird whether there's a child involved or not. It would be just as weird if I decided to make a book of my brother's incredible vacation photos and send them to my grandma so she could see them. Wouldn't the more normal reaction be to call or email the other person and say, "hey, those pictures of xyz are great! You know who would love to see them? Grandma! You know she never goes online, it would be cool to send her a set of prints or put them in a book for her. I'd be happy to help you out if you don't have time for that."

[Anonymous]

Another reason to hate Facebook. If you put it out there, people can do whatever they want with it.

If you must post photos, go to a password protected site.

[Anonymous]

I don't know, maybe the SIL was just annoyed by all the scrapbooking (I thought only 80 year old ladies did this) and took her revenge.