etiquette question about a wedding gift mishap

[Anonymous]

Don't think twice about it! At most, if you want to give them a card on their wedding day maybe in your note you can allude to your gift, if they makes you feel better and if you can weave it into your message somewhat naturally. Ex. "may you be using the waffle maker to make breakfast for each other on your 75th anniversary" [something much better than that, but you get the idea!]. Otherwise, skip the extra unnecessary gift - they will realize their mistake and just think you kept quiet as a courtesy about their error. Listen to grandma! (And enjoy the wedding!)

[Anonymous]

Is it possible there was no wedding registry? In other words, that registry was for the shower and not to be found by other people attending the wedding? I would just let it go and have fun at the wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't think twice about it! At most, if you want to give them a card on their wedding day maybe in your note you can allude to your gift, if they makes you feel better and if you can weave it into your message somewhat naturally. Ex. "may you be using the waffle maker to make breakfast for each other on your 75th anniversary" [something much better than that, but you get the idea!]. Otherwise, skip the extra unnecessary gift - they will realize their mistake and just think you kept quiet as a courtesy about their error. Listen to grandma! (And enjoy the wedding!)

OP here. I really like this idea!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it possible there was no wedding registry? In other words, that registry was for the shower and not to be found by other people attending the wedding? I would just let it go and have fun at the wedding.

OP here again. That is a distinct possibility! Seems unusual, but definitely possible. I did google it - in other words, nobody actually told me they had a registry. Oops! Now I feel like I'm going to think twice about trying to early-bird the registry. I almost always do this because I like to use people's registry and find that the good stuff in my price range goes fast. Ha ha! Now I'm wondering how many accidental shower gifts I have sent!

[Anonymous]

Can you text your friend saying something like "so glad you liked the wedding gift...looking forward to seeing you at the wedding!"? It might be a subtle way to let them know you assumed they just goofed up on the thank you card.

[Anonymous]

Just let it go - least said, soonest mended. I am sure she is not thinking about any of this right now!

[Anonymous]

To me, shower gift vs. wedding gift is a distinction without a difference anyway. You sent them a nice gift in celebration of their upcoming nuptials. They thanked you. The end. Have fun at the wedding and fret no more!

[Anonymous]

I would not send another gift. Your friend was probably just writing out thank you notes, and just wrote thanks for the shower gift in a bunch of them. I do like the idea about the note later on (in case you fear your friend will think you didn't get her a wedding gift). But I think your gift was very generous. She

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't say anything, I'd just go to the wedding, have a nice time and let that be the end of it. I wouldn't call attention to the gift situation because there's just no positive out of that--even if you correct the misimpression, it might make her feel like a gift-grabbing nut and make you look like you're trying to get out of getting another gift. I completely agree with you, that was a nice gift and you shouldn't get another one. Generally I'm all for communication, however here it will do no good. Some things should not be put into words because even if they're correct, it doesn't make anyone feel good.

[Anonymous]

Like one of the pp's I'd probably just say something like 'I'm so glad you like the wedding gift I sent' or something along those lines, otherwise just let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't say anything, I'd just go to the wedding, have a nice time and let that be the end of it. I wouldn't call attention to the gift situation because there's just no positive out of that--even if you correct the misimpression, it might make her feel like a gift-grabbing nut and make you look like you're trying to get out of getting another gift. I completely agree with you, that was a nice gift and you shouldn't get another one. Generally I'm all for communication, however here it will do no good. Some things should not be put into words because even if they're correct, it doesn't make anyone feel good.

I agree with this. I wouldn't call any attention to correcting it. I do think that if you are invited to and attend a wedding and a shower, separate gifts are in order (although I usually do a smaller shower gift and a nicer wedding gift).

Also, I couldn't tell you now if someone didn't give me a wedding gift, or who gave me shower and wedding gifts vs just one or the other. It just wasn't on my mind to keep track of (except to write thank you notes- but I didn't notice if a guest was "missing" from the list). I was just glad people came and enjoyed the wedding!