Tell Parent About Nephew's Facebook?

[Anonymous]

In middle school, I think parents should have the password and monitor all. You would not believe what I read when I did that with my child, who is now in HS!

I think this boy's parents need to be notified. These FB posts could be read by other students' parents, folks who are monitoring their children's "walls," and give him a bad rep. Or they could be "liked' and get circulated ... to who know who.

Wouldn't you tell his parents if he was cussing in public, in a restaurant? What's the difference? FB is not private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1:08 again. I should also add that he has since been blocked from two of their pages. My perspective is, since we are the only aunt/uncle whom they have friended and if we got blocked then no one would be privy to their FB pages, that we should only intervene on the bigger issues. Cursing to me is not one of those. Things involving sex, drugs, etc would, especially since OP's friend's nephew is 12.

Agree. My 15yo nephew decided to post a picture of him and a friend with a gun. Turns out it was my BIL's gun they had gotten a hold of. I went straight to him and my sister. My nephew knows that I'm his friend and would not rat him out for cussing, but he also knows that I'm an adult and will do whatever it takes to keep him safe. Tell friend not to waste the trust on something so trivial.

[Anonymous]

I would maybe talk to him directly and suggest that if he's going to curse on facebook (and other social media), that he put an asterisk over a word. That's what I've always done, so that it wouldn't be as much of a red flag for employers, etc. and wouldn't offend family, etc.

12 is not too early to learn the value of a good first impression. Not sure I'd tell his folks, though.

[Anonymous]

12:23 - asterisk over a letter, I mean. So that the f-word shows up as f*ck. Or do F&*%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious about how most parents handle FB account and their children (mine are still very young so not an issue for me yet). Do most parents require that their children have them on their friend list? And do most of you have their passwords? Maybe that is too controlling and I understand that teens want and need their privacy but it seems like since Facebook is such a public forum, its not really private anyway. Its not like reading their diary. I would think that most parents would want some access to their kids account to 1) protect them from harm and 2) protect them from making a fool of themselves. How do most of you handle this issue?

A LOT of education.

Recognize that you can have can have your child's Facebook or Twitter or Tmblr password and you can check it religiously... but your child can always just go and get a different account, that you don't know about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious about how most parents handle FB account and their children (mine are still very young so not an issue for me yet). Do most parents require that their children have them on their friend list? And do most of you have their passwords? Maybe that is too controlling and I understand that teens want and need their privacy but it seems like since Facebook is such a public forum, its not really private anyway. Its not like reading their diary. I would think that most parents would want some access to their kids account to 1) protect them from harm and 2) protect them from making a fool of themselves. How do most of you handle this issue?

A LOT of education.

Recognize that you can have can have your child's Facebook or Twitter or Tmblr password and you can check it religiously... but your child can always just go and get a different account, that you don't know about.

Exactly, If you have a kid old enough to be on Facebook who's not smart enough to thwart your efforts with a dummy account, you didn't do a good job raising a smart kid. It's really a matter (so much more easily said than done) of teaching self-respect. Look at other friend's pages with your kids (our friends or theirs if they let you) and make sure they know how you feel about aspects of those folks' internet presence. Try it without the "that's so inappropriate" and more of the, "that does not make me want to hang out with them". Teaching them that they are being judged based on that image is important.

[Anonymous]

Next time you see him post a bad word, comment and tell him to watch his f***king mouth. Should get the point across. Also, the bigger issue is that Mom doesn't have access to his account. Why is that? Both parents should have access to it unless one isn't in his life. If that's the case, he's got bigger issues then FB. I wouldn't ruin his trust over such a trivial issue, but I would let him know that you look at his posts. If he blocks you, then yeah take it up with the parents.

[Anonymous]

Is this a serious question? if so, what a sad state we are in. OP are you really wanting of advice for your friend? Neither of you are capable of coming to a sensible conclusion? Do neither or you recall what it was like to be a preteen? Since I'm afraid you don't how about, MYOB to you both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Illegal or dangerous stuff I tell the parents. (Drinking - drugs)

Inappropriate stuff I do a personal message. I am usually pragmatic like - you know college admissions can see that or future employers may not understand lots of profanity on your FB page. Once it was something bully like and i said - you need to take it down and she did.

My neices/nephews are long distance otherwise I might do it in person.

+1 -- from the mom and aunt of teens and tweens. This is the right approach and tone to take.

[Anonymous]

I'd encourage your friends to catch up, as in get familiar with social media.