Issues with my Mom

[Anonymous]

Your mother is showing three BIG red flags....inferring that you are selish for not accomodating her wished for your birth, having the perspective that this is as much about her being a grandmother as you being a mother, and overriding your wishes by declaring that it is her issue to come early and stay at a hotel.

These are very classic signs of inappropriate control issues, not respecting boundaries, and passive aggressive behavior. My mother was terrible. She would announce when she planned to visit and even if we said no such and such time didn't work for us, she would declare that she is an adult and free to go anywhere in the country and stay in a hotel whenever she pleased. She would of course then expect us to drop everything as she was in town. We finally were more direct and when she did it again, we went out of town! I told her we were adults and free to go anywhere in the country......

Trust me put your foot down and realize you are your child's mother now not just her child. You are too old to view yourself a s spoiled brat if you do not do exactly as your mother wishes It is difficult but if you do not set the boundaries she will drive you nuts once the baby does arrive. People who act this way are testing the limits and sense when you are waffling. It will probably make her mad and you will get some snippy comments but she should start to understand. Good luck, for many this is another one of those rites of parenting at times even harder than labor

[Anonymous]

Hmm, I guess everybody's situation is different. But my parents live overseas so they are both coming two weeks before due date. I'm looking forward to having some help and having mom cook meals. But I'm aware things might get a bit tense (esp my Dad being nervous about labor and delivery) but we'll just have to deal with it.

But I'd like to have them here and much rather have my own parents than my in-laws. If we had space my in-laws would come for the due date as well. My MIL is certainly planning on coming within a week or ten days (at least I convinced them I can't handle too many people while I'm still recovering i.e. in the hospital) .... I rather they wait, but how can I say no, my husband is part of this process too, not just me, myself and I.

OP, it really depends on your personal situation though. It's hard to judge the situation or offer any advice from a short post like this, relationships are complex, complicated things... maybe ask someone who knows you and your mom to get some perspective.