Issues with preschool

[Anonymous]

Academically he does fine. He has good fine motor skills and he likes to draw. He is very talented with his drawings (at least according to my babysitter who is an Art major in College). He enjoys drawing and art projects. His preschool is a very much academically based. He knows numbers, colors, letters and he is starting to put two or three letters together, but he cannot read and honestly I do not really encourage it. He likes listening to stories (whether read to him or on tape). But he is truly happiest outdoors playing in the mudd, climbing trees, playgrounds, running into puddles, sticks, rock throwing, checking out bugs etc. That is when he blossoms and he has a huge smile on his face. He enjoys games with the neighborhood kids - bowling, hop scotch etc. and he likes riding his bike (with training wheels) and the scooter. I have never pushed academics a lot for him because I feel that he will show me when he is ready. That may be part of the problem though because his pre-K is very much focused on early academics.

[Anonymous]

20:08 ADHD has been mentioned along with APD etc. I will mention it to the pediatrician. I really think that the accelerated behavior may be him trying to get more attention. I give him as much attention as I can. Tonight, we played board games for 45 minutes, took a nice long walk with the dogs and talked, cooked a meal together etc. But the minute, I try to do something by myself (laundry etc.), he will act up. But, I HAVE to get some of those things done and I need him to understand that I cannot just play with him 24/7. I try to incorporate him in as many tasks as possible. Letting him help with laundry, cooking etc., but once in a while I just really need to get something done quickly because it takes three times with him 'helping'.

[Anonymous]

You are right to balance time spent with him and time spent on real life tasks. He needs to learn to entertain himself. Tell him that you need to make dinner now and he needs to chose an activity. If he is able to entertain himself for a short time (maybe drawing), reward him with a game of his choice after dinner. If he hangs on you and whines the whole time, no game. He is getting to the age where he can understand cause and effect quite well. Use this to your advantage.

[Anonymous]

To the OP, I have an August birthday son and we really began to have challenges during his preschool year. It was hard and frustrating. He's a boy, boys like to romp around in mud and dirt and make a big mess. Preschool was not for him, a la sitting the butt down and paying attention. I put him in private K the next year to see how he'd do, it was yet another tough year. This year he's been in public K, doing so much better. It's amazing what an additional year of maturity does for boys who have late birthdays.

Just count your days down until preschool has finished, and then see if you can place him somewhere else? By this time last year in private K (in the same facility that he had preschool in, so i'm betting he was labeled from the beginning of K) my DS was having such a hard time that he actually developed nervous eye tics from the stress of the classroom. This year, nothing.

Follow your gut. I don't know that it's ADHD, perhaps it may be. But it's almost certainly from him being very young and immature. GL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my DS was having such a hard time that he actually developed nervous eye tics from the stress of the classroom. This year, nothing.

Follow your gut. I don't know that it's ADHD, perhaps it may be. But it's almost certainly from him being very young and immature. GL!

PP, I'm so glad that you mentioned this because my DS has developed this eye tick as well. He will blink and twitch his eyes incessantly. Sometimes rest helps (he hardly naps) and it is usually okay in the morning, but later in the afteroon it starts up again. He started this shortly after his father left. For about a week, it was really bad and he did it all day long, but now it seems to be subsiding a bit. I'm pretty sure I will keep him out of K another year, but I will look for another school. He needs a fresh start and I want him to have a good year before the 'real life' starts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are right to balance time spent with him and time spent on real life tasks. He needs to learn to entertain himself. Tell him that you need to make dinner now and he needs to chose an activity. If he is able to entertain himself for a short time (maybe drawing), reward him with a game of his choice after dinner. If he hangs on you and whines the whole time, no game. He is getting to the age where he can understand cause and effect quite well. Use this to your advantage.

I guess sometimes I feel bad about leaving him to entertain himself (he doesn't have brothers or sisters), but I'm doing him no favour if I'm there ALL the time entertaining him, so as much as it pains me to see him upset, I usually follow through. I have seen some success (at least at home).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my DS was having such a hard time that he actually developed nervous eye tics from the stress of the classroom. This year, nothing.

Follow your gut. I don't know that it's ADHD, perhaps it may be. But it's almost certainly from him being very young and immature. GL!

PP, I'm so glad that you mentioned this because my DS has developed this eye tick as well. He will blink and twitch his eyes incessantly. Sometimes rest helps (he hardly naps) and it is usually okay in the morning, but later in the afteroon it starts up again. He started this shortly after his father left. For about a week, it was really bad and he did it all day long, but now it seems to be subsiding a bit. I'm pretty sure I will keep him out of K another year, but I will look for another school. He needs a fresh start and I want him to have a good year before the 'real life' starts.

Yes, the eye tics were very unsettling. We had him neuro-tested and everything came back fine. I honestly think it was from the stress, although it has flared up again from time to time, very rarely, though. I just encourage you to be calm and cautious, folllow your gut (as mentioned before). I agree with you, see if you can put him in a new environment and see how he does.

[Anonymous]

There was an article recently about late birthday boys being diagnosed with ADHD at much higher rates than other groups of kids. Unfortunately, a difference of a year or 6 months can make a big difference in behavior.

Also, I'm not sure where you live but look into gyms and other organizations that have Friday or Saturday night out programs. You can get cheap child care for a few hours while your son runs around. I think where we are it is $14 for 3 hours and they get dinner and to play much cheaper than a babysitter. It can also be fun. Also, does your kid do an activity that can allow you to mentally relax while he is being entertained?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: He is technically eligible for Kindergarten this year (late August birthday), but we were told that he is not ready (too immature).

Thanks again!

Who told you that? If it's the teachers who can't deal with kids being kids, I'd take it with a grain of salt. If it's your pediatrician and the principal at the school he'd be attending for K, that's different.

Some of the preschools in the area seem to be less tolerant of typical 5Y0 behavior that the K teachers at our elementary school. Given your experience this year, I am inclined to tell you to get your DS outta there, but I am reacting on not nearly enough data, I realize.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who's preschool told them their DC wasn't ready for K so he was rejected by a private school and then they started a K class at their school and offered him a spot. Sometimes children do need to repeat but it could also be just about them having a child repeat at their school.

[Anonymous]

Personally, I'd pull him and put him in K. next year. Immature and all those labels are just that. He's probably bored and its a bad teacher/child fit. The teacher should cut him a little slack too if your husband is deployed. If she can't handle him as she says, then it is doing him a disservice by keeping him there. If he's fine with you and he acts up there, then that makes me wonder what is going on there (or not in terms of him being bored).

[Anonymous]

Have you thought about getting a mother's helper? Maybe one afternoon a week have a neighborhood kid comeover and play with him so you can pay bills, do the laundry or other activity on your long list.

I have a good friend who is a single mom and this made a world of difference for her.

[Anonymous]

OP - where do you live? Bases in the DC area do a parents break once a month on a Saturday for those with a deployed spouse. It would give you a half day or so to get things done, and your child would be cared for at a base daycare center, at no cost to you. If you're interested, I can post some additional info for the base I work at.

And for your son, there are some books about dealing with a deployed parent that are written for the preschool set. This link has a good list:
http://www.operationwearehere.com/ChildrenBooks.html#anchor_275
"While You Are Away" and "Over There" are two that my son's daycare on base uses.

[Anonymous]

He is usually fine at home - active, but, not really acting out. When he gets hungry or tired, he will get upset and angry, but a healthy snack or some quiet time with book/Leapster usually takes care of this. He no longer naps.

I have joined a gym and I get a pretty good deal there in regards to childcare. I use this at least twice a week, even just to take a shower. And there have been times when I have not exercised, but sat in the lounge with my book and a coffee....

PP, thank you for the info in regards to the base daycare center. I live in Fairfax. We are retired Army and my husband deployed as a civilian, therefore I'm not sure if I am eligible to use the services on base.

[Anonymous]

maybe he has a career in stand up