Can't stand my best friend's husband

[Anonymous]

OP here-I'm absolutely not judging my friend. I just can't stand her husband but would never tell her. She seems relatively happy so who am I to judge. I think the bottom line is that I just wish, for her sake and their baby, that he would grow up and get and stick with a job. She doesn't make that much money, and after her maternity leave is up will put the baby in daycare because husband is going to back to school for something else. I just hate to see such selfishness, even if my friend doesn't see it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guarantee your husband's best friend cannot stand you.

I'm sure the OP is drowing in a river of her own tears over that. Just crushing.

[Anonymous]

OP, I understand! I have a friend and can't stand her husband either. He works but leaves the child-rearing to her (even though she works FT too). Leaves and returns the next morning, has cheated repeatedly (before, during and after pregnancies), blames her for everything, wants her to take the kids everywhere (so she doesn't cheat), spends $$ on other women, etc. I "knew" he was cheating before it was confirmed, as the signs were there, but I kept it to myself. I NEVER badmouth him to her, though I've had moments where I've wanted to bash him in the head for treating her so poorly. I'm also scared for her children and what's being modeled for them.

I only get together with her when he is away. I also had to create distance at one point when he was really trifling, because it was becoming to effect me emotionally. I can tell that he wants to isolate her so that she doesn't have anyone left but him, so I will always be her friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I understand! I have a friend and can't stand her husband either. He works but leaves the child-rearing to her (even though she works FT too). Leaves and returns the next morning, has cheated repeatedly (before, during and after pregnancies), blames her for everything, wants her to take the kids everywhere (so she doesn't cheat), spends $$ on other women, etc. I "knew" he was cheating before it was confirmed, as the signs were there, but I kept it to myself. I NEVER badmouth him to her, though I've had moments where I've wanted to bash him in the head for treating her so poorly. I'm also scared for her children and what's being modeled for them.

I only get together with her when he is away. I also had to create distance at one point when he was really trifling, because it was becoming to effect me emotionally. I can tell that he wants to isolate her so that she doesn't have anyone left but him, so I will always be her friend.

It sounds like for whatever reason (possibly financial) your friend feels stuck. I know you it feels wrong but it seems like never badmouthing her husband and enabling her to pretend like things are OK or normal is probably the support she needs to hold it together for the sake of her kids.

[Anonymous]

^^^She considered leaving but ends up staying. She would be ok financially but not great. I really think she just has so little faith in men (and herself) that she doesnt think she can do better. So its either an unhappy marriage or be alone forever. They've been together since college.