Nervous About Raising Kids in the City

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have met a few families who moved out because they say you cannot raise kids there.
And with the prostitute highway being just down the road from them, drug trafficers at many corners, they felt very exposed
Made a move and were happy with the ease of living

You mean they are being lulled into ignorance of the drug problems around them? This is how my rich suburb was, and the number of privileged children that have ended up dead by 35 is astounding. Living in the city keeps my senses heightened.

[Anonymous]

Move to bethesda mclean potomac any where condos and ramblers cost alot to avoid living near undesirables. Watch out for section 8 and you should be fine in the suburbs. Dc had a ton of section 8 everywhere so your chance of making contact with undesirables 's higher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have met a few families who moved out because they say you cannot raise kids there.
And with the prostitute highway being just down the road from them, drug trafficers at many corners, they felt very exposed
Made a move and were happy with the ease of living

You mean they are being lulled into ignorance of the drug problems around them? This is how my rich suburb was, and the number of privileged children that have ended up dead by 35 is astounding. Living in the city keeps my senses heightened.

They did not move into rich suburbia

[Anonymous]

Like one of the PP's, I grew up in the center city, in my case, DC. I cannot agree more that this is more about parenting, teaching kids how to navigate their surroundings, public transportation and general street smarts. Most of my bad dealings were with kids who were from the suburbs, abused drugs and alcohol, drove while impaired, etc. Note also, that many of the major news stories come from the suburbs (Columbine and such).

There is no sense in trying to shield and shelter children from societal ills. The sooner they understand the strata in society and ways to be a part of the solution, the better.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in a city. Likewise, my dc is growing up in a city (though a smaller one).

This is painting with a very broad brush, but I think it's importnt to educate vs. shield when it comes to crime, homelessness, gangs, etc. Even with younger kids.

Developing some street smarts in a kid is a survival skill, and like anything, there's never an age that's too you, IMO, as long as you deal with it in an age appropriate way.

E.g., "flashing your cash." Message went something like this: Not everyone is honest and nice, some folks may be really hurting financially, and you can't tell by looking, so when traveling or walking around, don't open your wallet and show folks what's inside. Likewise, don't *talk* about the birthday twenty in your wallet from aunt so-and-so on the subway.

Gangs: we've discussed what they are and why people join, from an early age (I grew up in gang territory and still, to this day in a small part of the back of my mind, mentally check my outfit colors to make sure I'm not misrepresenting myself...I'm a middle aged lady, BTW), and why it's dangerous to associate with them. Nobody;s immune. They're in the burbs, too, and kids who are desperate for a sense of themselves ad a community are everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have met a few families who moved out because they say you cannot raise kids there.
And with the prostitute highway being just down the road from them, drug trafficers at many corners, they felt very exposed
Made a move and were happy with the ease of living

You mean they are being lulled into ignorance of the drug problems around them? This is how my rich suburb was, and the number of privileged children that have ended up dead by 35 is astounding. Living in the city keeps my senses heightened.

They did not move into rich suburbia

Oh, then I'm sure that there isn't any drugs there. They shouldn't bother to give it a second thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have met a few families who moved out because they say you cannot raise kids there.
And with the prostitute highway being just down the road from them, drug trafficers at many corners, they felt very exposed
Made a move and were happy with the ease of living

You mean they are being lulled into ignorance of the drug problems around them? This is how my rich suburb was, and the number of privileged children that have ended up dead by 35 is astounding. Living in the city keeps my senses heightened.

They did not move into rich suburbia

Oh, then I'm sure that there isn't any drugs there. They shouldn't bother to give it a second thought.

No
City life with a family is not for everyone
They wanted away from the prostitute highway, a neighborhood without drug addicts, etc
And they got it and it worked for them.
If you are nervous about raising them in the city, maybe you would be better off elsewhere

[Anonymous]

Another former NYC kid here. We don't live in the city, but I wish we did. I think it gives children a better sense of their surroundings and a better intuition about things and people around them. I didn't grow up jaded, but I did grow up with a certain confidence that I could get around and figure things out, and I didn't need my parents for transportation to get to the grocery store or the museum, so I could be more independent. I wasn't given 100% free reign, but I learned how to use public transportation and my parents taught me (from an early age) how to size up situations quickly. Intuition kicks in much earlier in city kids, and I mean that in a good way. I'm sorry that my children don't have it. DH's job is too far, or we'd live in DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have met a few families who moved out because they say you cannot raise kids there.
And with the prostitute highway being just down the road from them, drug trafficers at many corners, they felt very exposed
Made a move and were happy with the ease of living

You mean they are being lulled into ignorance of the drug problems around them? This is how my rich suburb was, and the number of privileged children that have ended up dead by 35 is astounding. Living in the city keeps my senses heightened.

They did not move into rich suburbia

Oh, then I'm sure that there isn't any drugs there. They shouldn't bother to give it a second thought.

No
City life with a family is not for everyone
They wanted away from the prostitute highway, a neighborhood without drug addicts, etc
And they got it and it worked for them.
If you are nervous about raising them in the city, maybe you would be better off elsewhere

This is exactly the problem I am talking about. There are no drug-free neighborhoods, only neighborhoods where the pretense of drugs is not as obvious. If they believe there are no drug addicts in their neighborhood, they are being lulled into a dangerously false sense of security.

[Anonymous]

Presence, not pretense. Darn autocorrect.

[Anonymous]

PP is correct. There are drugs in every neighborhood.

City kids are smarter, more aware, more tolerant, and more self sufficient than kids raised in the suburbs.

[Anonymous]

Oh please. I grew up in Fairfax County. When I went to college I was the one teaching the NYC kids how to use the bus system. As an adult, my friends who live in DC never venture out of NW. I have more diversity in my cul-de-sac in Fairfax City than 99% of my WDC friends have in their NW neighborhoods. I have to give them directions if they are leaving their NW neighborhoods to get to Nationals Park to go to a bball game. City living doesn't give some magic advantage.

[Anonymous]

Any NYC kid who needed to be taught how to use the bus system by a kid from FFx CTY was incredibly sheltered and NOT of the norm. Sorry, but that's just fact.

[Anonymous]

This is an interesting thread. I did not grow up in a city. In fact, I grew up in a very small town in the middle of nowhere that depended on agriculture and timber to sustain itself. It was not perfect, we definitely saw our fair share of alcohol and drugs (mostly MJ at the time). However, I ended up at a pretty white bread college and always thought I was better off for having had to fend for myself at time. I can drive ANYTHING - tractor, snowmobile, stick shift pickup, you name it. That came in very handy when my poor friends from the Jersey suburbs were having a tough time driving their stick BMWs and learning how to pump gas! I was also very savvy about alcohol and "when to say when," if you will. I couldn't believe the situations I would see my girlfriends get into as a result of drinking too much 151 punch and hanging out with the lacrosse team (no offense to lacrosse but my only exposure to the sport at that time was preppy drunk guys!). I was so, so thankful that I had "street smarts" and could figure out when someone was full of BS or not (we get a lot of practice with that in certain rural areas!).

As a result, I hate the suburbs and would love to raise my kids in the city right now. I think they are very similar upbringings: you need to be independent, smart, and aware of what's around you (whether to avoid being mugged or driving off the side of a cliff in the mountains). I feel like my poor suburban kids are a bit aloof and unaware of all the possible dangers of life. Telling them about things only goes so far...

[Anonymous]

PP from a rural area, you make a very interesting point. I think the lesson here is that it's important for kids to develop self-sufficiency and a sense of street smarts no matter where they are.