Is my friend an alcoholic?

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you should go with your gut on this. And I think you are in a perfect position to help her. It sounds like she really values your friendship and won't want to lose it, so I think if you could be brave enough to have a talk with her about this she might be receptive. And frankly if she's not receptive, screams that you are way off base and how dare you, you can likely just walk away. It sounds like, as is, this friendship is beginning to cost you more than it's giving, so cutting her loose is not going to be a catastrophic loss for you, I suspect. It sounds like she needs someone to confide in or at least know that someone is watching and is concerned and wants to help. I'm all for the idea of writing a script and then talking to her face-to-face. Don't go email on this...it's too important. Good luck and good for you for caring enough to pay attention.

[Anonymous]

OP, I agree with the PP's; I would not let this woman drive my child anywhere, nor would I leave my child in her care. It sounds like she definitely has some problems.

To the PP who says that she talks about drinking all of the time, I want to ask: Why do you do that? Does it make you feel socially accepted? Isn't that kind of childish? What you are saying you do reminds me of being in high school or college and trying to "fit in" with people by pretending that you enjoy/do a lot of something when you really don't. I don't understand why any adult would do this. Do you think that if you didn't drink at all or didn't talk about it that people wouldn't like you? I hope that reading the comments on this thread will make you see that your comments may make some people think that you have issues that you may not have.

I see lots of my female FB friends talking constantly about drinking, and they make themselves sound like they can't get through the smallest stress in life without a drink; I think it's sad. I do know that some of them drink during the day and even to "get themselves through" school functions. There are more moms out there with drinking problems than people realize, and the saddest part to me is what kind of lessons they are teaching their children about coping with life's little difficulties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the PP who says that she talks about drinking all of the time, I want to ask: Why do you do that? Does it make you feel socially accepted? Isn't that kind of childish? What you are saying you do reminds me of being in high school or college and trying to "fit in" with people by pretending that you enjoy/do a lot of something when you really don't. I don't understand why any adult would do this. Do you think that if you didn't drink at all or didn't talk about it that people wouldn't like you? I hope that reading the comments on this thread will make you see that your comments may make some people think that you have issues that you may not have.

I'm the pp you're referring to. You know, honestly, I don't know why I do it? maybe I need to do some soul searching. But It's not that I pretend I enjoy something when I don't, I actually love having that glass of wine - And when I make those comments, they are sincere - I want to have that drink. when I say I can't wait till 5 - it's the truth. It's just when I get that drink, I enjoy sipping it, tasting it and nurturing it - I enjoy the act of relaxing with a glass of wine. I don't enjoy getting drunk and I don't lie to my friends and say I want to get drunk. I just make stupid comments like I mentioned. And when I read this thread, it was a sort of "oh-oh" moment - making me wonder if I just talk about it way too much.

So, to answer your question (or comment) yes, reading the comments on this thread does make me see that my comments may make people see me differently than I am.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hahaha sorrym didn't mean to make you paranoid. I realize lots of people talk about drinking, and yes, my house looks like a bomb went off most days
There were just a lot more subtle clues, I can't really list them all. I talk about drinking a lot too, I can't explain it but this a different.

LOL - Yeah, I get it. The other stuff in your post would be signs that would have me worry too.

[Anonymous]

Wow, OP, your post sounds so obvious and so completely unbelievable.

[Anonymous]

I agree that the person has a drinking problem and also that people can have really messy homes and be flakes. In my experience, really messy homes plus being a flake about social commitments does usually mean something else is going on beyond introversion, often depression and/or ADD. At least, that's the case in my family.