Mater Dei families

[Anonymous]

There are several posters who are recommending The Heights as and alternative to MD. Are the two vastly different?

[Anonymous]

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That being said, there is within a Catholic Education a preference for other Catholic schools. That's why so many MD students go to Prep and Gonzaga and why so many Prep and Gonzaga students opt to attend Georgetown, Notre Dame, Boston College and other Catholic colleges and universities. It's a "Catholic thing. You wouldn't get it.

This says so much. For the families I know who send kids to MD and two other local popular Catholic schools, this attitude is common. I feel like it is like high school with the in crowd/out crowd all over again!

[Anonymous]

It is amazing how many members of the Catholic Mafia care more about where their son/daughter goes to HIGH SCHOOL rather than COLLEGE.

[Anonymous]

correction: There are several posters who are recommending The Heights as an alternative to MD. Are the two vastly different?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is amazing how many members of the Catholic Mafia care more about where their son/daughter goes to HIGH SCHOOL rather than COLLEGE.

This is a very entertaining comment as I think of a family in our neighborhood whose sons went the Little Flower/Gonzaga route and who are now at Dartmouth and Middlebury. It would seem that college was appropriately prioritized.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I just don't buy the "good guy" aspect that PP describes. Yes to Academics and Athletics. And yes to "community" (Catholic Mafia, as mentioned by another poster) but I've known many MD boys and I wouldn't call them "good guys"..Sure, there are exceptions, but I don't believe this is the rule.

They may not be 100% successful at producing "good guys". But that is what they are trying to achieve and thats what they tell the boys is important.

My opinion is Mater Dei emphasises being a good guy without being effeminate. Some people don't approve. A school can't be everything to all people and be a good school. Mater Dei is really really really really really really special. I went there...then Churchill...then Umd...I was captain of the Wrestling team at Churchill, wrestled for Umd, was a OC beach patrol lifeguard when OCBP finished 3rd in the world skills compettion, created my own company and Mater Dei had the most impact on my life all the way to the core. I sent my son there...who was limited athleticaly...he came out stronger with skills that will last a lifetime.

The phrase "emphasizes being a good guy without being effeminate" is troubling. However, my main point is the following:

My biggest problem with Mater Dei is that they undersell the kids intellectually by overemphasizing athletics and "being a good guy" (which seems less about morality and more about fitting in) at the expense of stretching intellectually. School personnel have discouraged students from applying to at least one top all-boys' non-Catholic private option in the area by saying that it is "too rigorous for Mater Dei students."

C'mon ... You probably have one data point for the MD staff counseling someone that the "top all-boys' non-Catholic private option" was too academically rigorous. It's conceivable that they might have felt for that one student that the school would be too intellectually rigorous.

That being said, there is within a Catholic Education a preference for other Catholic schools. That's why so many MD students go to Prep and Gonzaga and why so many Prep and Gonzaga students opt to attend Georgetown, Notre Dame, Boston College and other Catholic colleges and universities. It's a "Catholic thing. You wouldn't get it.

Thanks, Molly McSmug--did CCD, Confirmation, and the rest. My family is Catholic. And I get steering kids to stay in Catholic schools. This was saying "our boys can't hack it at School X," and it was said at a macro level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are several posters who are recommending The Heights as and alternative to MD. Are the two vastly different?

I have boys at the Heights and no firsthand experience of Mater Dei. The biggest difference is the entry level years (1st at MD, I think, vs. 3rd at Heights) and the fact that Heights has an upper school, for which the great majority of boys stay. Also that MD has only one section per grade in the lower school (at least it did when we were looking), whereas Heights has two. THe Heights faculty is 100% male. THe Heights certainly offers athletics, but it sounds like that is more of an emphasis at MD (Heights doesn't have a football team, for example, but football is played informally all the time), and the Heights has a solid music and fine arts program. The spiritual formation is probably somewhat different, too. The Heights attracts people from all over the DC metro area (including about 40% from VA); I could be wrong, but my impression is that MD families are predominantly from MD. If I were you, if I didn't know families from both schools, I would attend open houses at both and talk to parents to get a better feel for the character of each place. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is amazing how many members of the Catholic Mafia care more about where their son/daughter goes to HIGH SCHOOL rather than COLLEGE.

This is a very entertaining comment as I think of a family in our neighborhood whose sons went the Little Flower/Gonzaga route and who are now at Dartmouth and Middlebury. It would seem that college was appropriately prioritized.

You don't really understand what that oft-repeated phrase means.

It means that when these kids get back to DC after college, their friendships will be with their grade school and high school friends. They settle back into the somewhat insular DC area Catholic community. Where they went to college seems to get lost. No one in their circle of life-long friends cares where they went to college, but they do care where you went to high school.

So it's not that going to a good college is not important. But where you went to high school is much more a determinant of where you live in DC, who you marry, who your friends are, where you play golf, where your kids go to school, etc., etc, then is where you went to college. The college ties seem to evaporate quickly. The high school ties are the ones that matter. Not to everyone in DC, but to the Catholic high school crowd for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

That being said, there is within a Catholic Education a preference for other Catholic schools. That's why so many MD students go to Prep and Gonzaga and why so many Prep and Gonzaga students opt to attend Georgetown, Notre Dame, Boston College and other Catholic colleges and universities. It's a "Catholic thing. You wouldn't get it.

This says so much. For the families I know who send kids to MD and two other local popular Catholic schools, this attitude is common. I feel like it is like high school with the in crowd/out crowd all over again!

It's hardly like high school. There isn't an In or and out crowd. But here is a large section of the population who have a great deal in common and they tend to concentrate their family and social lives in this Catholic community.

It's a very interesting phenomon. But it has its roots in the history of the Irish in the US and in DC. Until the great wave of Irish immigration in the 1840's and 1850's, Catholics were really just another Christian sect. When the Irish arrived they insisted on their own schools, their own clubs, their own everything. Check the roster at Columbia Country Club and tell me what you see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is amazing how many members of the Catholic Mafia care more about where their son/daughter goes to HIGH SCHOOL rather than COLLEGE.

This is a very entertaining comment as I think of a family in our neighborhood whose sons went the Little Flower/Gonzaga route and who are now at Dartmouth and Middlebury. It would seem that college was appropriately prioritized.

You don't really understand what that oft-repeated phrase means.

It means that when these kids get back to DC after college, their friendships will be with their grade school and high school friends. They settle back into the somewhat insular DC area Catholic community. Where they went to college seems to get lost. No one in their circle of life-long friends cares where they went to college, but they do care where you went to high school.

So it's not that going to a good college is not important. But where you went to high school is much more a determinant of where you live in DC, who you marry, who your friends are, where you play golf, where your kids go to school, etc., etc, then is where you went to college. The college ties seem to evaporate quickly. The high school ties are the ones that matter. Not to everyone in DC, but to the Catholic high school crowd for sure.

I fail to see how this is different from other faith-based organizations/schools in this area--lots of life-long camaraderie among those who are Episcopal, Jewish, Muslim, etc. For the record, my husband's closest circle of friends to this day are his MoCo public high school buddies, many of whom left the area for college but eventually returned to the DC area for jobs and to raise family. These have been much more enduring friendships than any from undergrad, grad school, or the military. This Catholic-bashing is very puzzling---but nothing new on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

It's a very interesting phenomon. But it has its roots in the history of the Irish in the US and in DC. Until the great wave of Irish immigration in the 1840's and 1850's, Catholics were really just another Christian sect. When the Irish arrived they insisted on their own schools, their own clubs, their own everything. Check the roster at Columbia Country Club and tell me what you see.

I think it was more a matter of starting their own schools and clubs because they were shunned elsewhere, much like other oppressed members of society have done throughout history.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is amazing how many members of the Catholic Mafia care more about where their son/daughter goes to HIGH SCHOOL rather than COLLEGE.

You don't really understand what that oft-repeated phrase means.

Wow--my apologies. I didn't realize that insulting religious slurs were so nuanced.

[Anonymous]

And then there's the heavy drinking...

[Anonymous]

" If I were you, if I didn't know families from both schools, I would attend open houses at both and talk to parents to get a better feel for the character of each place. Good luck. "

Thank you for the thoughtful response. I traveled to Maryland for a Heights open house this past year. We are planning a move to the area, and The Heights seems like a wonderful place and would be a great fit for our little guys. I hadn't heard as much about Mater Dei, but The Heights has a wonderful reputation from the research I've done so far, and I've been quite impressed with the Heights boys and the families. Thanks again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It's a very interesting phenomon. But it has its roots in the history of the Irish in the US and in DC. Until the great wave of Irish immigration in the 1840's and 1850's, Catholics were really just another Christian sect. When the Irish arrived they insisted on their own schools, their own clubs, their own everything. Check the roster at Columbia Country Club and tell me what you see.

I think it was more a matter of starting their own schools and clubs because they were shunned elsewhere, much like other oppressed members of society have done throughout history.

Clubs, of course. But not from the public schools. Having their own schools was their choice.

And this self-segregation continues to this day is all sorts of forms out of preference.