DW dresses inappropriately

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she's dressing more sexy than skanky, I say be proud.

That's the crux of it, I think. Sexy is cool. Skanky isn't. Unfortunately, different people have different ideas about what crosses the line. In the end, be true to you, your wife, and your marriage. The heck with others.

[Anonymous]

DH - is that you? If so, I know I was wearing the shortest skirt in the room on Saturday night, but consider who else was at that party...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she's dressing more sexy than skanky, I say be proud.

That's the crux of it, I think. Sexy is cool. Skanky isn't. Unfortunately, different people have different ideas about what crosses the line. In the end, be true to you, your wife, and your marriage. The heck with others.

Yes. Also, something that may have been flattering 5-10 years ago (i.e., when you first met), may not be so flattering today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she's dressing more sexy than skanky, I say be proud.

That's the crux of it, I think. Sexy is cool. Skanky isn't. Unfortunately, different people have different ideas about what crosses the line. In the end, be true to you, your wife, and your marriage. The heck with others.

Sexy is cool in some contexts, but it's not always appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she's dressing more sexy than skanky, I say be proud.

That's the crux of it, I think. Sexy is cool. Skanky isn't. Unfortunately, different people have different ideas about what crosses the line. In the end, be true to you, your wife, and your marriage. The heck with others.

Sexy is cool in some contexts, but it's not always appropriate.

I beg to differ. Sexy (not skanky) is ALWAYS cool.

[Anonymous]

Next time you have an event to go to, treat her to personal shopping at Nordstrom's. If indeed her taste is too 'trashy', then the shopper will recommend things more age-appropriate.

If, however, she comes out of it with another 'provocative' dress and elicits comments from men and women alike, then smile and enjoy your arm candy.

DC is, I will say, EXTREMELY conservative compared to most other cities in the U.S. It would not surprise me that people might find certain styles 'trashy' or 'slutty' when, in fact, they are just par for the course in San Diego, for example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she's dressing more sexy than skanky, I say be proud.

That's the crux of it, I think. Sexy is cool. Skanky isn't. Unfortunately, different people have different ideas about what crosses the line. In the end, be true to you, your wife, and your marriage. The heck with others.

Sexy is cool in some contexts, but it's not always appropriate.

Agree. Sexy can be overboard, especially if you have children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Next time you have an event to go to, treat her to personal shopping at Nordstrom's. If indeed her taste is too 'trashy', then the shopper will recommend things more age-appropriate.

If, however, she comes out of it with another 'provocative' dress and elicits comments from men and women alike, then smile and enjoy your arm candy.

DC is, I will say, EXTREMELY conservative compared to most other cities in the U.S. It would not surprise me that people might find certain styles 'trashy' or 'slutty' when, in fact, they are just par for the course in San Diego, for example.

But if you live in DC, and you're embarrasing your husband...reconsider. People might be looking not because you look so great, but because it looks odd, out of place, and inappropriate.

And as a PP said, it might have looked good a few years ago, but maybe not anymore.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I'm in now way trying to get her to not dress sexily or to hide her beauty. However, in certain settings with social/work contacts I feel as if people are leering at my wife and that's a bit uncomfortable. I agree that DC is a conservative town with a herd mentality but those are the rules we signed up for when we all moved here.

[Anonymous]

I don't know what you mean...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'm in now way trying to get her to not dress sexily or to hide her beauty. However, in certain settings with social/work contacts I feel as if people are leering at my wife and that's a bit uncomfortable. I agree that DC is a conservative town with a herd mentality but those are the rules we signed up for when we all moved here.

Op, as I was reading all the responses, I kept thinking - He's not upset that she dresses sexy or slutty or whatever all the time, he's concerned that she's not dressing appropriately in CERTAIN business settings.

In this case, I'd have a talk with her. the next time a business event comes up, I would tell her about the event, but add that it's a conservative event rather than a coctail/reception event. Tell her that you BOTH need to be a bit conservative at this event. See how that goes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'm in now way trying to get her to not dress sexily or to hide her beauty. However, in certain settings with social/work contacts I feel as if people are leering at my wife and that's a bit uncomfortable. I agree that DC is a conservative town with a herd mentality but those are the rules we signed up for when we all moved here.

OP, this is a little silly. I didn't sign up for any such rules. DC is a very diverse city. There can be a cookie cutter style thing going on in certain contexts, but that is by no means the whole story. I commute in through NE DC and see certain styles, and then totally different ones in Bethesda.

Talk to your wife about this if you like, but keep in mind that personal style can be very, well, personal. She may - or may not - appreciate your unsolicited feedback.

[Anonymous]

Is this new? What's changed?

[Anonymous]

I have a really good friend who dresses this way, and her husband loves it. For example, her wedding dress was really sexy----nothing most women would wear, nothing most women could get away with wearing either. She's fabulously fit.

When I got married, DH made it clear that while he enjoyed having the hot girlfriend, he appreciated that I was always the "marriageable" hot girlfriend. There evidently was a line that I hadn't crossed. [I should probably mention that he is now my ex-husband, huh?] It never occurred to me to wear the same type of outfits I'd worn while dating out to family get-togethers. That feels a bit disrespectful to my husband.

A lot of the low-cut stuff stopped being appropriate once I had two kids to chase after. Crouching and stooping over are great ways to engage toddlers, but I wouldn't want to play peek-a-boo with whomever else may be around.

I don't know how you could bring this up---especially if she derives pleasure from it or thinks she's pleasing you by doing it. A reference to the covered up beauty of the Mad Men ladies? Or anybody, really? Angelina Jolie tends to cover up, but is generally seen as a sex symbol. I'm at a loss since I don't know whom she admires or how sensitive she might be. Maybe just putting it on yourself a bit might work. "I need a more conservative tie for this event---you know how D.C. is!"

[Anonymous]

I'm from Connecticut. They do not dress nearly as frumpy there as they do here. You really need to look at your own insecurities, OP. If your DW has her style, be grateful. She is not the typical sheeple. I know women hate my wife for her "assets", but that just confirms that she looks good.

We were at a pool party once. One of the wives who works all day and night for a mediocre body got so out of joint when my wife got into the pool - it was hysterical. The husbands were besides themselves and the wives were just pissed. Clearly, she dresses for herself and not for them. Clearly, they have their own problems that have nothing to do with my wife - if it was not my wife they "disapproved" (were jealous) of, it would very easily have been someone else.

Get over it, OP.