Promiscuous Teen

[Anonymous]

I wonder why everyone assumes this teen is a girl? I don't think I've seen OP indicate a gender. In fact, OP seems to have gone out of the way to avoid assigning a gender.

Do your comments about being a "little whore" change if you find out the kid is a boy?

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

I'm the OP of this thread. I just re-read it and am still so saddened by the whole thing. http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/140373.page

FWIW, she was diagnosed on the bi-polar spectrum and is being medicated. She's away at college now, so I can't speak to every situation she's been in this year, but we have seen improvement in her maturity. She's still promising that she's being careful/smart/making good choices, and her father and I have chosen to be cautiously optimistic that she's being truthful. But, deep down, on this anonymous forum, I still worry there will be a day she comes to me diseased or pregnant. I'm sorry, I don't mean to thread hijack, I just received lots of good advice on my thread and wanted to give you the same, in case those posters weren't around. Good luck, I feel for you!

[Anonymous]

Sorry, PP here...I meant to say, I am the OP of the linked thread, not *this* thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Do your comments about being a "little whore" change if you find out the kid is a boy?

No.

And I would still talk to my child to try to find out more before I rushed off to some professional pervert.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP of this thread. I just re-read it and am still so saddened by the whole thing. http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/140373.page

FWIW, she was diagnosed on the bi-polar spectrum and is being medicated. She's away at college now, so I can't speak to every situation she's been in this year, but we have seen improvement in her maturity. She's still promising that she's being careful/smart/making good choices, and her father and I have chosen to be cautiously optimistic that she's being truthful. But, deep down, on this anonymous forum, I still worry there will be a day she comes to me diseased or pregnant. I'm sorry, I don't mean to thread hijack, I just received lots of good advice on my thread and wanted to give you the same, in case those posters weren't around. Good luck, I feel for you!

Thank you so much PP. I just read the entire thread and Dh will also read tomorrow. I related to a lot of your feelings. Bipolar is something I've wondered about for DD, but I don't see the mania. Hopefully we will link up with the right therapist. I hope your DD continues to do well. DH and I are on the one day at a time plan right now- I really fear we are just at the beginning and that terrifies me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Birth control, a discussion of disease and barrier protection, and then leave her alone. It is her body, never mind your ridiculous hangups.

And your grand kids to raise. The above must have been written byb a kid. I can't imagine a parent being the dumb.

Nope. By a grandmother. Who isn't raising her grandchildren, since my kids knew about birth control and personal responsibility and didn't get pregnant despite being sexually active. And the kids are grown now and happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Do your comments about being a "little whore" change if you find out the kid is a boy?

No.

And I would still talk to my child to try to find out more before I rushed off to some professional pervert.

you had to think about it though. you all are/were assuming the op was posting about a girl.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I was promiscuous as a teen too - it was nothing to do with low self esteem, I just liked sex! Still do. Have always had a high sex drive. Sometimes you do everything right, and that's just the child you have.

[Anonymous]

FWIW, OP, my teen went through a period in high school like this and I found out that she had been sexually assaulted and was acting out as a response to that. She thought she was a "bad" person as a result of the assault. It was rare that she kept anything like this from us so I was surprised to find out about this and to find out about the boy who had done it who previously I didn't even know existed.

This is something to keep in mind as you are dealing with your teen.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, OP, my teen went through a period in high school like this and I found out that she had been sexually assaulted and was acting out as a response to that. She thought she was a "bad" person as a result of the assault. It was rare that she kept anything like this from us so I was surprised to find out about this and to find out about the boy who had done it who previously I didn't even know existed.

This is something to keep in mind as you are dealing with your teen.

Good luck!

Sadly, not uncommon:
http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/01/13/defriending-my-rapist/

My advice: don't judge but provide good information about safety, STDs, pregnancy, and respect/self-respect

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Birth control, a discussion of disease and barrier protection, and then leave her alone. It is her body, never mind your ridiculous hangups.

As long as they live in my house, I pay for everything, by god, they live by my rules and my rules say teenagers are not mature enough to engage in a sexual affair. This includes my paying tuition to college.

[Anonymous]

Lots of teens aren't having sex. Some are, some aren't. It isn't a given that all teens (and in this case Op says a young teen) are having sex no matter what parents say or do. Parent attitudes towards sex influence sexual behavior. Don't think as a parent you can't do anything...you can instill values and teach personal responsibility.

[Anonymous]

21:22: You are naive if you think you college age child is not sexually active. If they are away, they just are not telling you what is going on.

It is very rare for someone to finish college a virgin. It does happen, but it is rare.

[Anonymous]

I would get her the book "Taking charge of your Fertility". It goes over the affects of everything from abortions, stds, smoking, toxic household chemicals, diet etc. If she doesn't want to have kids right away she should learn how to protect her fertility/health. Tell her it may be a little "too grown-up" for her but you thought it might give her a big picture view of what it means to be a woman. A lot of women don't learn this until too late.