The Kool-Ade is Getting Sour

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can honestly say that I do not know of one parent that left private for their own reasons and regretted the decision. Do your homework and trust your instincts.

We left for public two years ago. It was hands down the best decision we could have made for our family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Independent schools function more than just a place where you drop your kid off in the am and pick them up in the pm. There is an expectation that when you enroll your child, you are joining a community, and that you, as a parent, participate in that community. If all you are looking for is a school, then by all means, leave and head to your local public. Privates rely on parent participation and volunteerism to raise funds (yes - a big part of the reality of private school life - and much of that goes towards FA btw), build a cohesive community with school spirit and school loyalty, and help provide a venue for parents to get to know other parents, teachers and administrators.

I think that's why parents need to think carefully when looking at schools and seriously consider if the school is a good fit for the whole family. Because it is much more than just writing the tuition check and dropping off your child.

Personally, I love it. We have three at three different schools, which presents its own challenges, but we are active in all three schools as much as we can be. We can't give much financially, but we give our time, enthusiasm, and positive attitude. (and tuition of course) What we receive in return is a great relationship with our children's teachers, their friend's parents, and access to three fun, supportive, social communities. We know what's happening with our kids, how they are doing, and if we need to recalibrate study habits, extra curriculars, etc. It's definitely not for everyone, and I can understand why you would feel like it's a burden on your personal time and space, but it works for us. We've been in independent schools for 10 years, and wouldn't trade it for anything.

Just another point of view.

Hear hear!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can honestly say that I do not know of one parent that left private for their own reasons and regretted the decision. Do your homework and trust your instincts.

We left for public two years ago. It was hands down the best decision we could have made for our family.

Our kids went to public for elementary school (MCPS) and then switched to private for middle and high school. Neither public nor private is monolithic and either type of school can be great for your child and family if you find the right match. That said, if you don't like the drudgery of PA/PTA work, if you don't like the fundraising and volunteering, if you don't like the rah-rah speeches (our school is like a blizzard of special snowflakes!), be aware that you'll get that in public too. The only thing you won't get is the tuition bill. On that score, you and DH have to decide whether it's worth it for your child. What is your kid getting from the school? If it's important to you and you can afford the tuition, then just suck it up.

[Anonymous]

OP I understand how you feel. My solution has been that we switch private schools every 5-6 years. It has worked for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:kool-aid. apparently none of you have ever actually had it?

Heavens, no.....

[Anonymous]

You don't like the traditions, you don't like the way things are done at your school then leave. Its not a very difficult concept. You asked to be there, not the other way around. Just don't stay and bitch about everything because the rest of us find you to be an annoying whiner.

[Anonymous]

You don't like the traditions, you don't like the way things are done at your school then leave. Its not a very difficult concept. You asked to be there, not the other way around. Just don't stay and bitch about everything because the rest of us find you to be an annoying whiner.

I see someone had a big glass of it today.

[Anonymous]

My advice is get a job. If you are thinking and worrying about this kind of trivial stuff you need a reality check. Find something more important to fret about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:19:42 Sounds like cult mentality to me.

19:42 here. It's silly to try and paint all privates with the same broad "cult" brush. I have three children in three very different independent schools. I think identifying and supporting the most appropriate educational environment for your children and your family is not cultish, it's just a different value system. Trust me, we sacrifice a lot for their education, and we chose the schools for what they offer our children, period.

[Anonymous]

16:19 I am sorry your prior "over-the-top" post sounded cultish to me--and I am a private school parent. The rah-rah attitude just seems a little bizarre to me, similar to the old greek mentality from college. A lot of us have moved far beyond the group think and take a more reasoned approach to the private school world. Sadly, any question of the private community is met with a pita response as if independent thought instead of group think makes one unreasonable.

[Anonymous]

Maybe it's because my kids are older or maybe because I don't give a damn about a lot of stuff, but you should keep you eye on the ball: are your kids happy and learning? If that's the case, the other stuff is just noise. At my kids' school, there are some nice parents and quite a few rich country club types stuck in the 1950's. It really doesn't affect me much, because I don't look to the school for my friends. There are also some rather antiquated traditions and mores that I just roll my eyes about. The most important thing is that my kids are learning, that they have small classes with teachers who really care about their development, and they're happy. That's why we stay. If you start private school later, I think you're not as fazed by this other stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:16:19 I am sorry your prior "over-the-top" post sounded cultish to me--and I am a private school parent. The rah-rah attitude just seems a little bizarre to me, similar to the old greek mentality from college. A lot of us have moved far beyond the group think and take a more reasoned approach to the private school world. Sadly, any question of the private community is met with a pita response as if independent thought instead of group think makes one unreasonable.

NP here. I'm pretty sure your many thinly-veiled insults aren't going to improve this dialogue. I wouldn't blame her if she responds with a big "FU!". Why don't you just agree to disagree with 16:19?

[Anonymous]

Actually, my insults weren't thinly veiled at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually, my insults weren't thinly veiled at all.

NP here. All you seem to have done is insult someone for being positive about being integrally involved in their kids' school community. That others in the community don't respond well to your ideas does not mean that there is "group think." Perhaps you are off-putting (you sure are in your post) and people simply don't want to be involved or associated with you. That you have moved "beyond" the concept of forming communities with people who you perceive as unlike you, or that you are unable to find or create a comfortable place in your kid's school community (or to be comfortable with your limited involvement), says a lot more about you than any school.

[Anonymous]

Wow, I'm the 16:33 NP, but not the 16:46 NP. Nevertheless, 16:46 appears to be living inside my brain, because ITA with her post.

Uh oh. Maybe this is the "group think" kicking in .... Maybe we're all "reasonable people"!