Am I obligated to have a relationship with my mother?

[Anonymous]

15:55, you have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.

OP, my mother is similarly challenging. I've been through years and years of therapy for it and no qualified therapist in their right mind would tell you what 15:55 is telling you. You definitely can and should establish some boundaries with your mother-whatever you need those to be-and I would highly recommend that you get counseling to help you deal with the hurt and pain this woman has caused you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:15:55, you have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.

OP, my mother is similarly challenging. I've been through years and years of therapy for it and no qualified therapist in their right mind would tell you what 15:55 is telling you. You definitely can and should establish some boundaries with your mother-whatever you need those to be-and I would highly recommend that you get counseling to help you deal with the hurt and pain this woman has caused you.

19:29 I'll tell you the same thing, NO ONE cares about you or your similarly challenging mother. And since you have a similar experience, that makes you the expert right? Or, any other expert you want to go see, like a therapist. All I'm suggesting here is having contact with mom to see what develops and nothing else. It's that simple. Let mom know you exist. She'll probably thank you for it, or not. But who cares, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:15:55, you have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.

OP, my mother is similarly challenging. I've been through years and years of therapy for it and no qualified therapist in their right mind would tell you what 15:55 is telling you. You definitely can and should establish some boundaries with your mother-whatever you need those to be-and I would highly recommend that you get counseling to help you deal with the hurt and pain this woman has caused you.

19:29 I'll tell you the same thing, NO ONE cares about you or your similarly challenging mother. And since you have a similar experience, that makes you the expert right? Or, any other expert you want to go see, like a therapist. All I'm suggesting here is having contact with mom to see what develops and nothing else. It's that simple. Let mom know you exist. She'll probably thank you for it, or not. But who cares, right?

NP here: 15:55, this isn't nice. Stop. FWIW, you may not care, but my heart goes out to people like this previous poster and the OP. I don't know them and will probably never meet them, but I feel for them and I'm sure other people do, too. They're dealing with some tough challenges and I wish them all the best.

[Anonymous]

no, it's not worth it
your mom sucks, and is not going to change...and if she does change, it might not be an improvement

[Anonymous]

NP 19:55 -- Be polite and say "please stop." I did not say anything mean, but it sounds mean and the truth hurts. Everyone wants a relationship with their mom and don't know how to get there. FWIW, you feel for them and I do too, but you did NOT say you cared, cause you don't. I do care enough to respond FWIW and I wish them and you the very best as well. Makes you feel warm and fuzzy doesn't it?

[Anonymous]

No, you do not have to even like her. But you do have to forgive her because forgivness is a gift to your self. If you feel it necessary, write to her and tell her how you feel and why you want nothing to do with her. She will probably be shocked and deny that she was a horrible mo ther and that is her problem, not yours. Keep away from her because she is toxic. Good luck. I have a sister like this and we haven't spoken in years.

[Anonymous]

15:55, this is 19:29. Lots of people care about me. Lots of people care about the OP. Including random strangers on an anonymous Internet board. Just because YOU do not feel cared about doesn't mean the world is an uncaring place. You may not realize it, but you have a deeply disturbed worldview and I hope you get help.

[Anonymous]

Nope, your mother totally abandoned you. If you want to have a very boundaried relationship with her, great. If not, I think that's perfectly fine as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It really does not matter what happened. Can you forgive your mom? Accept her for who she is? Come on, just give her a PASS and tell her you love her. Not only are you obligated, it is your ultimate duty to develop and maintain a relationship with your mom... Your life will never ever be complete in this world or the next, without the acknowledgement of LOVE and a hint of a relationship with your mom. You will never come full circle in the cycle of life without it...

What the fuck are you talking about?