help with office politics

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The truth is, you have to talk to that colleague spreading the nasty rumors. I might even have another colleague or boss I'm close to be a part of the conversation so that it can't "go wrong" and lead to more rumors being spread. I would just say "I've been hearing rumors that you feel (insert term here) about me winning this award. I didn't mean to offend you in anyway and wanted you to know that."

Then hopefully the rumors will stop.

Is it just one co-worker or several that are the problem (s)? If its a group-wide thing then it may be worth talking to your boss about group morale and personal conduct.

I 100% agree!! I always go to the source. The idea of a witness is sound advice. I found that sometimes these people stop once they realize you 'call them on it' and can't f*ck with you anymore. you ignore the problem she gets more wind.

[Anonymous]

I recommend reading the book, Nice Girls Don't Get The Corner Office.

http://www.amazon.com/Nice-Girls-Dont-Corner-Office/dp/0446693316/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1323107345&sr=8-1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recommend reading the book, Nice Girls Don't Get The Corner Office.

http://www.amazon.com/Nice-Girls-Dont-Corner-Office/dp/0446693316/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1323107345&sr=8-1

Thanks to you and the previous poster for these book recommendations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The truth is, you have to talk to that colleague spreading the nasty rumors. I might even have another colleague or boss I'm close to be a part of the conversation so that it can't "go wrong" and lead to more rumors being spread. I would just say "I've been hearing rumors that you feel (insert term here) about me winning this award. I didn't mean to offend you in anyway and wanted you to know that."

Then hopefully the rumors will stop.

Is it just one co-worker or several that are the problem (s)? If its a group-wide thing then it may be worth talking to your boss about group morale and personal conduct.

I 100% agree!! I always go to the source. The idea of a witness is sound advice. I found that sometimes these people stop once they realize you 'call them on it' and can't f*ck with you anymore. you ignore the problem she gets more wind.

yes, I need to work on calling people on these rumors. A bit leery of the idea, since I've heard about confrontations in my office coming very close to being physical confrontations. As I'm reading and responding to posters' responses, I'm realizing how accustomed I've become to the bad behavior at my office. Senior, older colleagues don't hesitate to tell me that they consider another colleague a sociopath (the people they say are sociopaths are absolutely not), people spread all sorts of foul rumors about each other, confront each other in inappropriate ways. This is not what I'm used to, and I don't like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The truth is, you have to talk to that colleague spreading the nasty rumors. I might even have another colleague or boss I'm close to be a part of the conversation so that it can't "go wrong" and lead to more rumors being spread. I would just say "I've been hearing rumors that you feel (insert term here) about me winning this award. I didn't mean to offend you in anyway and wanted you to know that."

Then hopefully the rumors will stop.

Is it just one co-worker or several that are the problem (s)? If its a group-wide thing then it may be worth talking to your boss about group morale and personal conduct.

I 100% agree!! I always go to the source. The idea of a witness is sound advice. I found that sometimes these people stop once they realize you 'call them on it' and can't f*ck with you anymore. you ignore the problem she gets more wind.

yes, I need to work on calling people on these rumors. A bit leery of the idea, since I've heard about confrontations in my office coming very close to being physical confrontations. As I'm reading and responding to posters' responses, I'm realizing how accustomed I've become to the bad behavior at my office. Senior, older colleagues don't hesitate to tell me that they consider another colleague a sociopath (the people they say are sociopaths are absolutely not), people spread all sorts of foul rumors about each other, confront each other in inappropriate ways. This is not what I'm used to, and I don't like it.

Yiikes, I'd revise what I said and tell you to keep your head down and look for a new job. Confrontation in that kind of environment probably won't lead to anything good.

I also work in such an environment and am looking forward to leaving.

[Anonymous]

Something about this whole post seems off.

Things come close to physical confrontations often? In a place where people are recognized for talents and expertise in their field? For real?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Something about this whole post seems off.

Things come close to physical confrontations often? In a place where people are recognized for talents and expertise in their field? For real?

"Often"? Where do you get that? I didn't write "often." And, yes, unfortunately, talented people aren't always very socially savvy people. That fact is "often" discussed in my office by many of the same people who sometimes behave in socially unsavvy ways. They're actually very nice people in many respects, but we work in a high-pressure environment, and maybe one of the issues is that not everybody has the skills and emotional maturity to react well to this level of stress. This is the factual situation that I'm trying to work on addressing, and I thank the posters who've responded with helpful comments and suggestions.