S/O why is sexual molestation of children so common?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a dad, and I never ever allow my kids in groups where men are in charge unless the man has a child in the group. i.e., no coaches, no scoutmasters, no whatever, unless the man has a kid involved ...

I don't even think that makes a difference - being a father, that is.

Why should it? There are plenty of married pedophiles who are fathers.

And not all are men; there are a few women in the mix.

shudder

[Anonymous]

It is beyond sick and my DH and/ or I would take down (injure severely) anyone who touched our child(ren)....we would not trust the judicial system at all....the coach in PA. esp. sickens me as his buddies covered for him. The sooner they are afraid of the consequnces perhaps the sooner they will control their sick urges.

[Anonymous]

PP..I am calm and kind about most things but this one scenario....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is beyond sick and my DH and/ or I would take down (injure severely) anyone who touched our child(ren)....we would not trust the judicial system at all....the coach in PA. esp. sickens me as his buddies covered for him. The sooner they are afraid of the consequnces perhaps the sooner they will control their sick urges.

Ditto.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, here is my question (which I'm sure no one on this board can really truly answer): WTF is actually going on in their heads when this happens? Are they thinking, hey, this is a GOOD thing I'm doing? This is not hurting this child in any way, so it's fine? Even if the argument is "I'm born that way" (which I happen to believe-I mean, who would CHOOSE to be attracted to little kids?!), they still have free will, and the power of choice. Choosing to indulge in their lust for children is wrong, on every conceivable level. So why do they do it? It's a very scary question when you think about it. It speaks to the fact that they are utterly morally bankrupt. THAT'S what keeps me up at night Well, that, and the thoughts of the kids they molest.

It's a compulsion. They know it's wrong but think they can't help themselves. Some of them swear they'll never do it again, but inevitably, they do. Of course it's wrong, but these are their desires and humans are not particularly good at denying themselves things they like or enjoy. People who are sick like this are particularly good at justifying it to themselves, i.e. "It feels good, it's not hurting them."

pp here. This is what I just can't understand, how they can try to justify that by saying this to themselves. I as a well adjusted person I'll never understand this, because to me, it's simple-it's wrong, therefore don't do it. We're not talking about something inconsequential here-everyone knows it's WRONG. So sad.

Maybe this isn't always the case, but many pedophiles don't care that it's wrong, they're not concerned about the pain and suffering of their victims. They often compound their victims' pain by blaming the victims.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a dad, and I never ever allow my kids in groups where men are in charge unless the man has a child in the group. i.e., no coaches, no scoutmasters, no whatever, unless the man has a kid involved ...

I'm a male teacher. No kids of my own. So you're children couldn't be in my class? Well done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not the strangers I'm worried about, its the people that you come to know and trust. Extended family, coaches, family friends, church members/leaders.
The ones that I wouldn't think twice about leaving my kids with for an outing , etc.
I feel like I need to start considering everyone a threat...

It is the type of thinking in that last statement that makes society more dangerous, not less.

[Anonymous]

Parents, the best thing you can do to protect your kids from predators like this is not keep all "strange" men out of their life. You have to instill in them the confidence to know that if ANYONE approaches them offering them gifts or money for no real reason, or seems to want to spend time with them one-on-one, that they can come tell you and you will believe them and do something about it. Most of the predators are not stupid; they prey on children who do not come from these environments, who need the attention from someone else. They purposely choose the weak ones, the ones who don't get enough love and attention at home to know better, the ones whose parents aren't with it enough to notice what's going on or immediately become suspicious of an adult treating their child "specially." Believe me, the first step from protecting your children against these people is focusing on THE KIDS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This may be naive but I like to think most people aren't monsters, but why is something so horrendous so rampant? I would chalk it up to sensational news, but when you check the offender locater websites, they are everywhere! Tons of them!
Is it this common in other countries? I just don't get it. It's really horrifying.

Because they are young and small and cannot protect themselves. Their parents and other adults are supposed to protect them but, obviously, they don't. Too often, particularly in the past, it was thought they weren't really hurt but if they told then it would wreck the molester's reputation and life but the child could get over it. Crap, but unfortunately, it still happens.

[Anonymous]

I follow the news back in my hometown, a large city in the midwest. I can't tell you the last time I heard about a teacher or other school worker convicted of a child sex crime. Here, in the DC area, I hear about at least one every month. There was a while there where there was a new one coming out of Prince William Schools every couple of weeks. I just couldn't believe it. I know these are just larger school districts so the chances of it happening are greater, but it's beyond unreal to me how many cases exist just in the DC area.

[Anonymous]

This is in no way defending their actions, but child sex crimes and adultery remind me than humans are animals wearing a very thin coat of morals and conscience. We forget that, in the end, we are animals with very powerful instincts. It helps explain why these things even exist in the first place. Again, does not excuse it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This may be naive but I like to think most people aren't monsters, but why is something so horrendous so rampant? I would chalk it up to sensational news, but when you check the offender locater websites, they are everywhere! Tons of them!
Is it this common in other countries? I just don't get it. It's really horrifying.

It isn't rampant. Which is why it's news.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a dad, and I never ever allow my kids in groups where men are in charge unless the man has a child in the group. i.e., no coaches, no scoutmasters, no whatever, unless the man has a kid involved ...

I'm a male teacher. No kids of my own. So you're children couldn't be in my class? Well done.

Just curious -- this site is a space for parents. Why are you here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is in no way defending their actions, but child sex crimes and adultery remind me than humans are animals wearing a very thin coat of morals and conscience. We forget that, in the end, we are animals with very powerful instincts. It helps explain why these things even exist in the first place. Again, does not excuse it.

These two things are nowhere near the same. One involves 2 consenting adults, one involves the exploitation of an adolescent. And pedophilia does not exist in the animal kingdom except for our species.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a dad, and I never ever allow my kids in groups where men are in charge unless the man has a child in the group. i.e., no coaches, no scoutmasters, no whatever, unless the man has a kid involved ...

I'm a male teacher. No kids of my own. So you're children couldn't be in my class? Well done.

Just curious -- this site is a space for parents. Why are you here?

And if you are a teacher, why are you making early elementary level grammatical errors like "you're children"?