Section 8
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Anonymous
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I'd look into Montgomery County's housing program and see if there's any openings there. I believe this is it: http://www.montgomerycountymd.gov/dhctmpl.asp?url=/Content/DHCA/housing/housing_P/mpdu.asp
Or, push comes to shove, Frederick County is cheaper (but may be more difficult without a car and you'd have to factor in commuting costs). You can get a non-section 8 2 bedroom apartment for less then $1200 in Frederick County. Utilities are cheaper there as well. Depending on what field you work in you could consider relocating someplace cheaper and getting a job in that area. But, finding jobs can be tough. I'd hold off on grad school, honestly. Many people who are coming out of college now are unable to find a job. It's not worth digging yourself into debt if it's not going to get you anywhere. |
Anonymous
| The waiting list in Montgomery County only opens at certain times and is several years long. Try contacting the Housing Opportunities Commission. There are other moderately priced units throughout the county that you may be able to find. |
Anonymous
| I qualify for housing assistance, but won't get near the top of the list unless I'm paying more than 50% of my income in rent (a Fairfax county rule). There is no way I could survive while paying 50% of my income in rent. And, I'm not willing to send my child to a failing school. So, I share housing (separate rooms) with my daughter's father and make the best of it. We've done it this way for the last several years. It has its pros and cons and is not for everyone. I'm just saying that sometimes you have to look at co-housing options to make it workable. |
Anonymous
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OP here again.
Thanks for the kind words. I was a little nervous about posting here, thinking that there'd be more people like 00:14 responding. I don't want anything luxurious like in the link. I can (and have) live without things like a dishwasher, A/C, outdoor space, cable, fancy counters, a gym/pool in the complex, etc. I'm happy with a 1bd, DS is young enough to share space for a little while longer. I want to be somewhere safe, but beyond that, I just want to be able to afford it. I've been on welfare (medicaid, WIC, food stamps, daycare assistance) in the past, I WAS making only $22K (in a different area of the country) last year while going through my divorce and custody battle (which I'm still paying off). So, I've already come a long way. I'm just tired I guess. I feel like I should be further along at this point. I have looked into grad school and am considering taking a few classes in the spring. I'm not sure I want to take on MORE debt when I just dug myself out of that hole (XH left me with about $10K in joint debt that he refused to pay). Esp since a grad degree doesn't guarantee a raise or better job (I'm an admin right now, so it'd be a career change as well). Once DS is no longer in full-time daycare, things will be a little easier. He's only 2 though, so that's a ways off (I live in Fairfax county, no free preschool). I'll just keep plugging along, living at home, sucking up my embarrassment, saving all that I can. It's the new American family right? Multiple generations in one house? Ha. |
Anonymous
| No embarrassment or shame in wanting and striving for a good, honest, decent and better life. More power to you OP. GL! |
Anonymous
| Do NOT be embarrassed! I'm divorced and broke, too. Many women who do not repartner struggle financially, living expenses are high -- two bedrooms, a car, etc. You are not alone, as these generous posts have reminded you. Hang in there. (I used to be ashamed, but no more!) |
Anonymous
PP whose mom was on welfare, etc. Do your parents enjoy having you there? My brother and his wife and kid went back to live with my mom for a few years. They were in a situation a lot like yours, although they were / are together so there wasn't the ex factor to deal with. My mom was happy for my brother when they got on their own feet but at the same time, was completely devastated when they left. She really, really enjoyed having them there, although when they were actually there, they all got in one another's way and each of them, at least once a day said or thought "this isn't working!" Because living with your grown children / a grown child living with parents is hard. But yes, people have done it for years and more and more families are doing it this way again, either out of necessity or choice. You sound like you're very hard working. In your shoes, I'd make peace with my living situation by having a goal to get out of it. First, try to get on the section 8 waiting list, just in case, although I do not believe you'll need it in five years' time. Second, put that money that you could spend on rent away. You could put even less than that away (1000 a month?) and still be in really good shape - in a year's time you'd have 12K. In two years time, you'd have 24K. Plus any interest you'd accumulate. In the meantime, surely the job market will provide some flexibility. Do you continue to look for other jobs? Not a second job, mind you, just a better job. Are there growth opportunities in your current job? How are your benefits? OP, you deserve to live nicely. I hate that some people in this world can do barely any work and make scads of money and other people, by virtue of circumstance, can work 3x as hard and have next to nothing. The ONLY thing embarrassing about this is that the system is so effed up that people think that people like you, that probably work harder than they do, don't deserve anything they can't pay for. These people don't think about WHY someone else can't pay for something. They have trouble with nuances. This is not your deal. I would have nothing but respect for a single mom living with her folks to save up for a better life for her and her kid. And I'd have no problem with you using the safety net. It's there for people like you to provide a leg up. That said, I'd try to stick it out at your parents' a little bit longer. Get yourself on firmer footing. My SIL is nearly 40 years old and lives with my in-laws temporarily. It was just going to be a year, but they all happened to enjoy it. We've stopped suggesting that she leave the nest because we realize we're projecting what would be best for US onto her. Shes' happy there! And they're loving that she's there again. Now she's looking at houses and holy CRAP does she have a bunch of money saved up. Anyway, sorry, this was rambling. But I think you're going to be okay. Your life will improve. Yes, kids get more expensive but as you recognized, they also start going to school, become more self-sufficient, etc. Good luck! |
Anonymous
| OP if you qualify for section 8 then you will probably also qualify for scholarships to pay for school and take on very little debt. Also I agree with others, until you have a really good job moving out could put you in a worse position should you lose your job, etc. |
Anonymous
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I would only do grad school if your company is willing to help subsidize some of it. The economy is such that a grad degree doesn't always translate into higher pay. It may be a good long term goal after you have paid off some of your divorce debt etc. I know it's a bit of a catch 22 but I'd be weary about stretching yourself too thin right now and taking on more debt.
It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders OP. Hang in there. |
Anonymous
Then there is before and after care to pay for and camps during the breaks of the school year and then all summer.Comes up to just slightly less than the last year of daycare. |
Anonymous
Thank you for that ray of sunshine, pp. |
Anonymous
| OP, where do you live that you can't find a 1 BR under $1200? I live in DC and have never paid even close to that for a 1 BR-- and this was in Capitol Hill. If you're in the city, look into English basements, and go directly through owners rather than a rental company. The prices are much more reasonable. |
Anonymous
ITA-- and I would add that if you find something inexpensive/ English basement 1 bed in a safer neighborhood like Capitol Hill, you can send your child to school at 3 yrs old next year (DC has free preschool programs). Maybe you should stay put and look into moving next year, late summer. |
Anonymous
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If your family has a healthy dynamic and living all together is working, there is no shame in that! You're working and contributing, not sitting in the basement playing video games while your parents support you - THAT's the kind of "living at home" I would feel embarrassed about!
I know some of this is cultural (and my family is foreign), but to me families sticking together is a natural thing. Just because the law says parents don't have to support kids past 18 doesn't mean we are all required to live alone just to prove a point! If the family dynamic is not good, then I would look for a co-abode situation, although picking the right housemate is critical. I think having another trusted adult around provides a lot of security and backup. |
Anonymous
| I'm with everyone else, if your family is ok with you being there, than stay. It is good for you and your child to have the support of family and there's no shame in living with family. As far as debt. Personally I wouldn't start grad school if you already have debt. I'd suggest paying off the debt and then taking the next step. Is there any way you could get a part-time seasonal job at a retail store? You could use the extra money to pay down the debt. |