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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here again.
Thanks for the kind words. I was a little nervous about posting here, thinking that there'd be more people like 00:14 responding.

I don't want anything luxurious like in the link. I can (and have) live without things like a dishwasher, A/C, outdoor space, cable, fancy counters, a gym/pool in the complex, etc. I'm happy with a 1bd, DS is young enough to share space for a little while longer. I want to be somewhere safe, but beyond that, I just want to be able to afford it.

I've been on welfare (medicaid, WIC, food stamps, daycare assistance) in the past, I WAS making only $22K (in a different area of the country) last year while going through my divorce and custody battle (which I'm still paying off). So, I've already come a long way. I'm just tired I guess. I feel like I should be further along at this point.

I have looked into grad school and am considering taking a few classes in the spring. I'm not sure I want to take on MORE debt when I just dug myself out of that hole (XH left me with about $10K in joint debt that he refused to pay). Esp since a grad degree doesn't guarantee a raise or better job (I'm an admin right now, so it'd be a career change as well).

Once DS is no longer in full-time daycare, things will be a little easier. He's only 2 though, so that's a ways off (I live in Fairfax county, no free preschool). I'll just keep plugging along, living at home, sucking up my embarrassment, saving all that I can. It's the new American family right? Multiple generations in one house? Ha. [/quote]

PP whose mom was on welfare, etc. Do your parents enjoy having you there? My brother and his wife and kid went back to live with my mom for a few years. They were in a situation a lot like yours, although they were / are together so there wasn't the ex factor to deal with. My mom was happy for my brother when they got on their own feet but at the same time, was completely devastated when they left. She really, really enjoyed having them there, although when they were actually there, they all got in one another's way and each of them, at least once a day said or thought "this isn't working!" Because living with your grown children / a grown child living with parents is hard. But yes, people have done it for years and more and more families are doing it this way again, either out of necessity or choice.

You sound like you're very hard working. In your shoes, I'd make peace with my living situation by having a goal to get out of it. First, try to get on the section 8 waiting list, just in case, although I do not believe you'll need it in five years' time. Second, put that money that you could spend on rent away. You could put even less than that away (1000 a month?) and still be in really good shape - in a year's time you'd have 12K. In two years time, you'd have 24K. Plus any interest you'd accumulate. In the meantime, surely the job market will provide some flexibility. Do you continue to look for other jobs? Not a second job, mind you, just a better job. Are there growth opportunities in your current job? How are your benefits?

OP, you deserve to live nicely. I hate that some people in this world can do barely any work and make scads of money and other people, by virtue of circumstance, can work 3x as hard and have next to nothing. The ONLY thing embarrassing about this is that the system is so effed up that people think that people like you, that probably work harder than they do, don't deserve anything they can't pay for. These people don't think about WHY someone else can't pay for something. They have trouble with nuances. This is not your deal. I would have nothing but respect for a single mom living with her folks to save up for a better life for her and her kid. And I'd have no problem with you using the safety net. It's there for people like you to provide a leg up.

That said, I'd try to stick it out at your parents' a little bit longer. Get yourself on firmer footing. My SIL is nearly 40 years old and lives with my in-laws temporarily. It was just going to be a year, but they all happened to enjoy it. We've stopped suggesting that she leave the nest because we realize we're projecting what would be best for US onto her. Shes' happy there! And they're loving that she's there again. Now she's looking at houses and holy CRAP does she have a bunch of money saved up.

Anyway, sorry, this was rambling. But I think you're going to be okay. Your life will improve. Yes, kids get more expensive but as you recognized, they also start going to school, become more self-sufficient, etc.

Good luck!

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