Inappropriate language on the soccer field- venting

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure why this wasn't taken up with the ref - that's the ref's job. In most of the youth leagues around here, vulgarity (defined in an age-appropriate way) is a cardable offense, but if the ref doesn't call it, the ref doesn't call it.

I was stunned when a ten year old dropped the F-bomb and nothing was done (should have been a yellow card), but I am not the ref.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

One child told one of my daughter's teammates to "suck it." Another child said "up your butt" to a different teammate of my daughter's.

THIS is all the kids said? And

My husband emailed the league commissioner (or whatever it's called), too.

Total over-reaction.

Guess what? Kids say mean things to each other sometimes. Especially during sports. It doesn't make it right. And I would remind the kids of the importance of sportsman like behavior. But really, making such a big deal of out relatively mild language is silly. I'll bet you don't keep score in your league either. The pussification of children in the D.C. area never ceases to amaze me.

Call me a prude but if my first grader ever used the term "suck it", I'd take a long hard look at my own parenting. Maybe he/she is hearing it somewhere but they sure would never be using it. It falls in the "respect" category - I teach it and they had better demonstrate it. Mild language? How would it sound said to your 14 yo DD by a 16 yo guy? Condone it now and that's exactly what they'll be shrugging off a few years from now.

[Anonymous]

I have been coaching a number of sports in this age range (in other words, 'been there, done that').

I agree with OP and the DH. Teachable moment to remind the kids how NOT to act. Further, in subsequent games, I will remind my team, how the one team made us feel and to be sure to stay classy.

I am not sure it is worth going to the commissioner, but it is certainly part of the value system we try to instill in the kids we are working with as parent volunteers.

[Anonymous]

I am not sure it is worth going to the commissioner, but it is certainly part of the value system we try to instill in the kids we are working with as parent volunteers.

That was exactly my point. Yes, it's a teachable moment. And no, kids shouldn't be allowed to use that kind of language. One of the benefits of sports is that it offers the opportunity to teach teamwork and good sportsmanship. However, a first grader saying "up my butt" is hardly worth going to the commissioner over. If they were cursing and the coach wasn't handling it, I would feel differently. But come on....these are first graders.

And contrary to the previous posters claims of "bad parenting", it's much more likely they learned the words from friends and/or older brothers and sisters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure why this wasn't taken up with the ref - that's the ref's job. In most of the youth leagues around here, vulgarity (defined in an age-appropriate way) is a cardable offense, but if the ref doesn't call it, the ref doesn't call it.

I was stunned when a ten year old dropped the F-bomb and nothing was done (should have been a yellow card), but I am not the ref.

Agree that this seems odd to me. My DS is in U16 and kids get yellow and even red carded for language.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure why this wasn't taken up with the ref - that's the ref's job. In most of the youth leagues around here, vulgarity (defined in an age-appropriate way) is a cardable offense, but if the ref doesn't call it, the ref doesn't call it.

I was stunned when a ten year old dropped the F-bomb and nothing was done (should have been a yellow card), but I am not the ref.

Agree that this seems odd to me. My DS is in U16 and kids get yellow and even red carded for language.

OP here. There are no refs, unfortunately.

I agree with the poster who said it's about respect. You've got to wonder what goes on at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

One child told one of my daughter's teammates to "suck it." Another child said "up your butt" to a different teammate of my daughter's.

THIS is all the kids said? And

My husband emailed the league commissioner (or whatever it's called), too.

Total over-reaction.

Guess what? Kids say mean things to each other sometimes. Especially during sports. It doesn't make it right. And I would remind the kids of the importance of sportsman like behavior. But really, making such a big deal of out relatively mild language is silly. I'll bet you don't keep score in your league either. The pussification of children in the D.C. area never ceases to amaze me.

I can't believe you think it's okay for a six year old to tell another six year old to suck it. It's not about "pussification," it's about teaching respect.

[Anonymous]

I was sideline coaching yesterday for my son's first grade soccer team and he scored a goal. Running back he yelled "in your butt," (kinda like "in your face") and I immediately took him out and sat him for a quarter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was sideline coaching yesterday for my son's first grade soccer team and he scored a goal. Running back he yelled "in your butt," (kinda like "in your face") and I immediately took him out and sat him for a quarter.

I like you. You can coach my kid whenever you want.

As for the "no refs" comment (these are really little kids): That means that you and the other coach are reffing, no? Blow your whistle, stop play and state - there will be no vulgar language in this game. than blow the whistle to have the kids play on. If I recall, someone is always reffing, even if it is just another parent.

[Anonymous]

Whoa folks, I did NOT say it was okay for first graders to talk like this. Or any age, for that matter. I noted, like others, that kids talk like when parents and teachers are not around. Big difference in condoning it. I even wrote IT DOESN'T MAKE IT RIGHT. My point is that kids are going to hear this on the field moving forward. So coach to that reality. If coach and parents get the players all worked up, they might overreact on the field and escalate things. My child's in high school, has played travel soccer since age 9, I've seen it all.

Oh and now we have a father admitting his own child talks like this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

One child told one of my daughter's teammates to "suck it." Another child said "up your butt" to a different teammate of my daughter's.

THIS is all the kids said? And

My husband emailed the league commissioner (or whatever it's called), too.

Total over-reaction.

Guess what? Kids say mean things to each other sometimes. Especially during sports. It doesn't make it right. And I would remind the kids of the importance of sportsman like behavior. But really, making such a big deal of out relatively mild language is silly. I'll bet you don't keep score in your league either. The pussification of children in the D.C. area never ceases to amaze me.

How is it 'pussification of children' to not allow vulgar language?

Would it be okay for your boss to say 'up your butt'? Or, a co-worker to say 'Oh, Jennie, just suck it.'? Probably not. There aren't many contexts where that type of language is appropriate with other adults, unless you're joking around, drunk, whatever.

So, if it's not something adults should say to each other, shouldn't we be teaching our kids that it is not okay to say it to other kids? it is a big deal. It's poor sportsmanship, and for sure, it is incredibly rude.

And, first graders?? I find it pretty horrifying, actually. Yes, maybe teenagers, but first grade girls? Definitely something that should be addressed.

[Anonymous]

To the parents who think this is not a big deal and that kids say things like that all the time...do you allow your children to speak this way? Do you encourage it? Why?