Embarrassing question -- dads' replies would be most welcome!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some men are "showers" and some men are "growers"

OP here. That's very funny.

Ok, this is a silly question -- I get it. But seriously, it does it worry us (my husband especially, classic guy) that the 8 year old's penis is so tiny! I never thought it was tiny until I saw the 3 year old's.

And yes, a few nights ago the 8 year old DID say, "how come [brother]'s penis is bigger than mine?"

We just said, it isn't, and changed the topic.

OP, please consider taking DS1 to a pediatric urologist and a pediatric endocrinologist. You say that DS2 is in the 90% percentile and DS1 is very small for his age. Are you and DH on the high end or low end of the distribution for height for your ethnic group? It's possible that your son's small size is due to a generalized growth problem such as growth hormone deficiency. It is also possible that his small penis is due to an endocrine problem. Boys with very small penises are often treated with replacement testosterone.

You should also stop bathing your boys together, stop dressing them together, stop sending them into the woods to pee together, etc. DS1 has become aware that he has a small penis. His awareness can easily lead to an inferiority complex. In fact, unless this situation is handled very carefully, he's almost certain to develop one, and they are very damaging. That's why your DH is so worried.

Your blowing off DS1's question did not help. He's no dummy. He knows that his penis is smaller than his brother's. You have now confirmed to him that having a small penis is so bad that even your mother denies it. If I had to guess, DS1 is now wondering whether his penis is really small or his brother's is exceptionally large. He will now seek out opportunities to see the penises of other boys to resolve the issue, e.g., in the boys bathroom at school, in the men's locker room at the pool, etc. Unfortunately, these encounters will likely confirm what he already knows -- that he has a small penis.

It's possible that DS1's small penis is the manifestation of a growth problem. It's also possible that his penis (as well as the rest of him) will grow disproportionately during puberty. However, it's most likely that he will always be shorter than average and always have a smaller than average penis.

In that case, you might want to take a look at the following article published in the British Journal of Urology International:

http://www.bjui.org/ContentFullItem.aspx?id=78&LinkTypeID=1&SectionType=5&title=Penile-size-and-the-small-penis-syndromesummary

You can also ready the following synopsis of the article:

http://www.scienceagogo.com/news/20070431210857data_trunc_sys.shtml

Quoting from the second article:

Men afflicted by small penis syndrome typically cite childhood comparisons and erotic imagery as the main contributing factors to their anxiety.

So, definitely stop those joint baths. Also, be sure that there is no porn lying around the house that DS1 might find and be sure to install blocking software on your computer. He might eventually use your computer to confirm his suspicions.

You should look for ways to bolster DS1's self-confidence. Steer him toward activities in which he can excel. Has he shown any interest in music? Perhaps he should start learning to play piano. Does he have a good voice? Perhaps he can join the boys choir at church. Does he like to build things? Perhaps he can build model rockets -- there's a monthly launch at Goddard.

Try to steer him away from team sports, at least those sports where the players suit up in the locker room. There is a good chance that any self-confidence he might derive from excelling at the sport will be undermined by frequent reminder that he is under-endowed in the locker room.

Is DS1 in a cub scout pack? Scouting provides many opportunities for boys to boost their self-confidence through skills acquisition with very few -- if any -- opportunities for them to be around each other in a state of undress.


The following is tongue-in-cheek:

Don't ignore DS2's problem either, OP. DS2 has an older brother, which increases the likelihood that he is or will become homosexual:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fraternal_birth_order_and_male_sexual_orientation

Quoting again from the summary article:

Interestingly, on average, homosexual men had larger penises than heterosexual men. The researchers suggest that exposure to male reproductive hormones in the womb may be one explanation for this disparity.

Once DS2 becomes aware that he is well-endowed, he might start looking for opportunities to "strut his stuff." First he'll want join the baseball team, ostensibly because he has a good arm. The real reason will be to parade his package in the locker room wearing nothing but a jock strap. Then he'll start showering with the boys. In the end, he'll come to you to say that he wants to switch from baseball to wrestling. After that, it's only a matter of time before he asks for a Liza Minnelli CD for his birthday...

[Anonymous]

It might be a hormonal issue or something similar so definitely ask about it and request a blood test. It may be that your youngest is exceptionally large rather than the oldest being too small.

It's probably nothing but there's no harm in asking. I would definitely ask this question without your child around though! Maybe speak with the doctor by phone before the appointment.

FWIW there can be a great deal of changing down there during puberty so he's not destined to have a teeny weeny as an adult. Likewise, your youngest isn't certain to become the next Ron Jeremy for that matter.

[Anonymous]

Wow, I was actually considering posting an identical question. Both my boys are average percentiles. My 5 YR penis is much smaller than my 3 YR. I have been concerned for sometime, but my husband says not to worry.

[Anonymous]

It's worth making an advance call to the pediatrician and then bring kid in for a physical. Try to make it an all over physical so kid does not think it's all about the penis.

Close friend's brother was diagnosed with endocrine disorder at 18 after he finally worked up the courage to ask his parents why he was comparatively small. Would have made a huge difference to catch it earlier.

[Anonymous]

My DH would say that you are right to at least consider the question. Maybe some men wouldn't agree but, from what I understand, being a guy with a small one is tough - mainly in their own minds because I don't know if many women really notice that much. If there is something wrong physically, you can address it. If there isn't, you can work on how to help DS deal with it as he gets older.

[Anonymous]

When DS1 was born, I could not believe how tiny his penis was. Like the lead of a old-fashioned pencil thin. One of my first questions was "how can they circumcise it?!"
I didn't think much of it, until he was 3 and we went to the zoo and took a friend of his. I took the boys to the bathroom, and his friend needed help getting his pants down... the other little boy was not little. I was a little shocked realizing that my DS is not as endowed as others may be.
That said, I am not "worried". As another PP wrote, there's nothing I can (or should) do about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When DS1 was born, I could not believe how tiny his penis was. Like the lead of a old-fashioned pencil thin. One of my first questions was "how can they circumcise it?!"
I didn't think much of it, until he was 3 and we went to the zoo and took a friend of his. I took the boys to the bathroom, and his friend needed help getting his pants down... the other little boy was not little. I was a little shocked realizing that my DS is not as endowed as others may be.
That said, I am not "worried". As another PP wrote, there's nothing I can (or should) do about.

PP, have you taken DS to a pediatric urologist of endocrinologist? It's possible that his small penis is a sign of an underlying disorder and might be treatable. If you wait too long it might no longer be treatable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When DS1 was born, I could not believe how tiny his penis was. Like the lead of a old-fashioned pencil thin. One of my first questions was "how can they circumcise it?!"
I didn't think much of it, until he was 3 and we went to the zoo and took a friend of his. I took the boys to the bathroom, and his friend needed help getting his pants down... the other little boy was not little. I was a little shocked realizing that my DS is not as endowed as others may be.
That said, I am not "worried". As another PP wrote, there's nothing I can (or should) do about.

PP, have you taken DS to a pediatric urologist of endocrinologist? It's possible that his small penis is a sign of an underlying disorder and might be treatable. If you wait too long it might no longer be treatable.

He's been seen regularly by the same pediatrician. I think the ped would have said something if it was an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When DS1 was born, I could not believe how tiny his penis was. Like the lead of a old-fashioned pencil thin. One of my first questions was "how can they circumcise it?!"
I didn't think much of it, until he was 3 and we went to the zoo and took a friend of his. I took the boys to the bathroom, and his friend needed help getting his pants down... the other little boy was not little. I was a little shocked realizing that my DS is not as endowed as others may be.
That said, I am not "worried". As another PP wrote, there's nothing I can (or should) do about.

PP, have you taken DS to a pediatric urologist of endocrinologist? It's possible that his small penis is a sign of an underlying disorder and might be treatable. If you wait too long it might no longer be treatable.

He's been seen regularly by the same pediatrician. I think the ped would have said something if it was an issue.

I have found that many doctors/pediatricians don't bring up concerns during examination. It is usually the patient or parent that needs to address concerns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When DS1 was born, I could not believe how tiny his penis was. Like the lead of a old-fashioned pencil thin. One of my first questions was "how can they circumcise it?!"
I didn't think much of it, until he was 3 and we went to the zoo and took a friend of his. I took the boys to the bathroom, and his friend needed help getting his pants down... the other little boy was not little. I was a little shocked realizing that my DS is not as endowed as others may be.
That said, I am not "worried". As another PP wrote, there's nothing I can (or should) do about.

PP, have you taken DS to a pediatric urologist of endocrinologist? It's possible that his small penis is a sign of an underlying disorder and might be treatable. If you wait too long it might no longer be treatable.

He's been seen regularly by the same pediatrician. I think the ped would have said something if it was an issue.

I have found that many doctors/pediatricians don't bring up concerns during examination. It is usually the patient or parent that needs to address concerns.

I agree, PP. My son is growth-hormone deficient. We caught it when he fell off the growth curve, not our pediatrician. She was, however, very supportive when we decided to do something about it.

I think pediatricians subscribe to the philosophy of "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." That is, if it's a minor problem that the patient can live with, treating it might be more damaging than living with it. This is probably especially true for boys with small penises.

[Anonymous]

I understand your concern - I had the same situation with my sons, growing up, the younger one was bigger. And you know what, when they hit puberty, it was the same thing. The fact is my younger son just has a very large penis, this might be the case with your son. It wasn't so much that my older son has a small penis, the last I saw it it was more or less average. So this might be the same with your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you had two teenage girls, and one girl had small breasts, and the other medium or large -- and the first was older -- would you worry? Or would you just say that's how they ended up? Because genetics is genetics.

Um, yes, if I had a 12 year old whose breasts were bigger than her 17 year old sister's, I would worry.

Really? In 3rd grade my pal (very athletic for a young girl and super healthy - not overweight) had a C cup. Her oldest sister - at 15 - had an A cup.

It happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When DS1 was born, I could not believe how tiny his penis was. Like the lead of a old-fashioned pencil thin. One of my first questions was "how can they circumcise it?!"
I didn't think much of it, until he was 3 and we went to the zoo and took a friend of his. I took the boys to the bathroom, and his friend needed help getting his pants down... the other little boy was not little. I was a little shocked realizing that my DS is not as endowed as others may be.
That said, I am not "worried". As another PP wrote, there's nothing I can (or should) do about.

PP, have you taken DS to a pediatric urologist of endocrinologist? It's possible that his small penis is a sign of an underlying disorder and might be treatable. If you wait too long it might no longer be treatable.

He's been seen regularly by the same pediatrician. I think the ped would have said something if it was an issue.

I have found that many doctors/pediatricians don't bring up concerns during examination. It is usually the patient or parent that needs to address concerns.

I agree, PP. My son is growth-hormone deficient. We caught it when he fell off the growth curve, not our pediatrician. She was, however, very supportive when we decided to do something about it.

I think pediatricians subscribe to the philosophy of "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." That is, if it's a minor problem that the patient can live with, treating it might be more damaging than living with it. This is probably especially true for boys with small penises.

Another poster in agreement. I think you often have to be an advocate for your kid's (and your own) healthcare.

OP, not sure why some of the PPs are ridiculing this post. I think it's a valid question.