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Eldercare
Question for the "older" moms
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Anonymous
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Stay involved in your children's lives and set a good example: diligent worker, cheating [sex, taxes, insurance fraud, finances], drinking, partying, promiscuity, drugs.
Do you know where your children [tweens, teens, young adults] are? remember that ad? Most parents who have those who are problems are not involved and tend to be friends. As DS said "Their moms are different from you. People always get high and drink at their houses." |
Anonymous
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Be involved. No matter how tired you think you are. Your kids will remember most the times you put them first. |
Anonymous
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Give your child LOVE and give them your TIME. That doesn't mean you have to be with them ALL day long. I work..but not crazy hours. I spend good, quality time with my six year old..reading, laughing, cooking, joking, talking in the car.
Fortunately, my hours are 7:30 to 3:00, so I have her all afternoon and evening with my husband. I sort of cringe when I read about (and see) attorneys and other highly paid professionals who don't get home until 7,9,9, 10 at night. Just give them your TIME and you.. |
Anonymous
What hours does your DH work? |
Anonymous
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He works 8:30 to usually 6:00 to 7:00. He sees her off to school in the am.. I take over in the PM, retrieve her from school, camp, etc.
If there is a problem, or she is sick, I just use my leave. I love starting work early so I can get to her sooner in the PM. |
Anonymous
Do you cringe when your DH gets home after 7 at night? |
Anonymous
| You jerk.. |
Anonymous
You post this stuff all the time. Is it really that impossible for you to grasp that maybe mommy and daddy have different roles? One is not more important than the other. But they are different. I think one of the reasons we have so many screwed up kids is because today's parents are convinced that men and women are the same. They are not. |
Anonymous
| In retrospect, most of the things that you worry about will turn out to be no big deal at all. |
Anonymous
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Some really good advice here. I would add that your child does not need to know everything by first grade. The important developmental phases need to be respected.
For older kids, please tell them that facebook can make them feel bad about themselves when everyone looks like there having a blast (sometimes without them!). Please tell them that they are smart and competant. Every day they are pitted against each other and, often times, only one person wins. I read that the day Jaycee Duggard was abducted, her Mom forgot to kiss her goodbye. Please bake a cake with them. |
Anonymous
I have to agree! It's time we stopped pretending that mothers and fathers are the same!! A mother is different than a father! Our society needs to admit that child-care is not something that can simply be handed off, be it to dad, grandma, babysitter or even that "wondeful amazing nanny." Children need their mothers!! You all can scream and yell and pound your fists and say it's "only" important for children to feel love in their lives, it doesn't "matter" where that love comes from but that is wrong. A mother can't be replaced and children FEEL the lack of her in their lives, espeically when the message is working and making moeny and having things is more important than being with her children. |
Anonymous
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My mother died of cancer when I was four. I grew up wanting her so badly. So, now that I am a mom, I make sure to do all of the wonderful things with my daughter that my mother never got to do and that I never got to experience with her.
I truly remember feeling that void of not having her. I can relate!! |
Anonymous
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"I have to agree! It's time we stopped pretending that mothers and fathers are the same!! A mother is different than a father! Our society needs to admit that child-care is not something that can simply be handed off, be it to dad, grandma, babysitter or even that "wondeful amazing nanny." Children need their mothers!! You all can scream and yell and pound your fists and say it's "only" important for children to feel love in their lives, it doesn't "matter" where that love comes from but that is wrong. A mother can't be replaced and children FEEL the lack of her in their lives, espeically when the message is working and making moeny and having things is more important than being with her children. "
Cite? |
Anonymous
How are parental roles so different? So according to you, how do you define roles for same sex couples? I guess the "more masculine" of the two goes to work from 9-5? ridiculous stereotyping |
Anonymous
Oh, brother, are you the scientific type who needs a STUDY to prove what anyone who has been a parent for a while KNOWS? Kids do need their mothers, and no, dad is not a substitute, he is different. When there is no mother, someone has to substitute, but it's not the father, not entirely. The children need some maternal figure in their lives, and they will find one if they can. Even a crappy mother figure is better than none at all. |