Am I in the wrong here?

[Anonymous]

Well, I would have done the same as you, OP. If I'm not actually going IN anywhere . . . like into a starbucks to get coffee, or run into a store for something, I take my kid with me, no longer how quick the errand. But if I'm hopping out to drop library books in the drop, or pop a letter in a mailbox or something, I leave the kids in the car.

The bystander probably assumed you were going in to get coffee. If you had, your kids could have been very unsafe - he didn't know where you were going. He probably didn't say anything to you because he feared your reaction - there are really nutso people around here, with serious anger issues.

So yeah, he was in the wrong. He assumed too much from the get go - he assumed you were going in somewhere and leaving your kids and he assumed you'd be awful in your response if he spoke up. Although you did say you would have just told him to Fuck Off if he had spoken up, so maybe he was in the right there.

[Anonymous]

Is it just one poster with the nearly universal response of "fu** off"? Can you please try to keep it civil?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just ran out to get a newspaper with my son. The newspaper box is in front of Starbucks. I parked in a space in front of Starbucks, but about 5 parking spaces away from the newspaper box. I left my son in the car in his carseat while I went to get the newspaper from the box. I was out of the car for literally less than a minute, probably closer to 30 seconds. In the time it took me to walk to the newspaper box, get a paper, and walk back, an older man had called 911 on his cell phone to report me for leaving my son in the car. I was out of the car for such a short time that he had to have been standing there when I first parked and got out, so if he were so concerned, he could have said something to me as I was walking to the newspaper box. I heard him say, "Well, she's getting back in the car now," and then he continued to stand there giving me a dirty look as I drove away.

I was completely stunned. Should I really have gotten the Snap and Go out of my trunk, put the car seat in it, and wheeled the stroller to the newspaper box with me? It probably would have taken me longer to get the stroller out of the trunk and unfold it (while my son waited in the car alone) than it did for me to get the newspaper.

Sounds like the 911 dispatcher was going to send out a policeman then the guy told the dispatcher the OP got back in the car. Well that says it all. The police will send out a car if you leave the kid in it unattended.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While it's good that some people actually pay attention and care about others - he definitely overreacted and I don't think you were in the wrong.

But do keep in mind that the car can heat up very fast, even if it does not seem that hot outside. It may not reach dangerous levels in that short amount of time but it gets uncomfortable very fast. And even if it is 80 degrees outside, it only takes 10-20 minutes to reach dangerous levels inside the car.

Animation/simulation here: http://ggweather.com/heat/heating-small.wmv

More info: http://www.weather.gov/om/heat/index.shtml

She was 5 spaces away - the car isn't going to overheat in the minute (if that) it takes her to walk to the newspaper box and back. If teh airconditioning had been on while they were driving it is likely the temperature in the car was the same when she got back in as it was when she got out. Cars don't heat up that fast or even get uncomfortable in seconds. You even say 10-20 minutes so how does this apply to her situation - she walked a few steps to a newspaper box and back.

Op I would do the same as you. You are in sight of the car and baby and walking a few steps away from your child is perfectly fine in my opinion. The only thing I can think of is the old guy didn't see you get out of the car...or else he was just a nasty old man.

[Anonymous]

He had no way of knowing how long you would be. What if there was someone ahead of you and took a lot of time with counting his change. A child can be grabbed in a second and you would have had a holy conniption if your nanny had done this or if you had witnessed someone else doing this.

Just subscribe to the Sunday post and you won't have this problem again.

[Anonymous]

When my kids were infants, yes, I would have brought them with me, even if only 5 spaces away. Not in a snap n go, I didn't have one....I would have either taken them out of their carseat and put them in a Baby Bjorn/sling, or taken the whole car seat with me.

I'd rather have someone over react, then not react at all and a child end up dead.

[Anonymous]

That was my first thought as well -- you drove and parked to buy a newspaper? Really?
As for the old guy, give him a break. Even though you feel you did nothing wrong and you say you were coming right back, the bystander only has the facts as he sees them. Why wouldn't you all PREFER that he make a call rather than ignore an unattended child? Again, I'm not judging OP for her actions, just ease up on the bystander.

[Anonymous]

I really try not to leave my toddler out of sight, ever. But there have been a few occasions when he is strapped in the car, we are ready to go and I realize i left my phone on the table by the door. I have locked the run, RUN up the steps and gotten it, casting backward looks, but never feel quite comfortable with it.

I don't think the man was in the wrong, your behavior was a questionable judgment choice. A lot of people are okay with it,a nd if you are, then fine, but I don't think you should be angry with a concerned stranger. A 2 year old just the other day died while being left in a car seat. It happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While it's good that some people actually pay attention and care about others - he definitely overreacted and I don't think you were in the wrong.

But do keep in mind that the car can heat up very fast, even if it does not seem that hot outside. It may not reach dangerous levels in that short amount of time but it gets uncomfortable very fast. And even if it is 80 degrees outside, it only takes 10-20 minutes to reach dangerous levels inside the car.

Animation/simulation here: http://ggweather.com/heat/heating-small.wmv

More info: http://www.weather.gov/om/heat/index.shtml

She was 5 spaces away - the car isn't going to overheat in the minute (if that) it takes her to walk to the newspaper box and back. If teh airconditioning had been on while they were driving it is likely the temperature in the car was the same when she got back in as it was when she got out. Cars don't heat up that fast or even get uncomfortable in seconds. You even say 10-20 minutes so how does this apply to her situation - she walked a few steps to a newspaper box and back.

Op I would do the same as you. You are in sight of the car and baby and walking a few steps away from your child is perfectly fine in my opinion. The only thing I can think of is the old guy didn't see you get out of the car...or else he was just a nasty old man.

I realize that - which is why in my first paragraph I stated that the guy definitely overreacted and I don't think she was in the wrong.

But I also wanted to point out that cars do in fact heat up quickly. If a car can heat up past 100 degrees in 10 minutes when it is 80 degrees, imagine how fast it heats up past 100 degrees when it is the typical 90+ degrees here in DC. It's something that everyone should keep in the back of their mind.

[Anonymous]

It's debateable whether what you did was okay, but your bit about the stroller is very silly. Of course you wouldn't get the stroller out for that; you would take the baby OUT of the carseat and CARRY him. It is possible to hold or wear a baby without them being strapped into a carseat or stroller.

[Anonymous]

How long should a bystander wait to see if someone is going to come back and retrieve a baby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How long should a bystander wait to see if someone is going to come back and retrieve a baby?

Personally - I think if you don't see who the car and baby belongs to, I'd call right away.

[Anonymous]

I've kept the baby in the car when I've:
Returned a movie to Blockbuster (pulled up infront of the store, move into slot in wall)
Returned a library books (pulled up in front of the library, ran out to put books into container)

Anything that is within an 7-8 second walk, and will take a total of 20 seconds or less, AND he's sleeping I'll keep him in the car. Otherwise I normally get him out, but he's #1 and I just like having him in my arms

[Anonymous]

There is a line between busybody and concerned citizen, and that line is easy to draw: are the actions done for the child's best interests, or the person's best interests?

Because I have many children, I encounter these situations often, and when someone is genuinely concerned for my child's welfare, our interations are always gracious. I appreciate that they are looking out for my child, and they appreciate that I am doing my best. But when someone is hostile, and abrasive, and confrontational, and escalating a situation rapidly, I know they do not really care, but are just looking for a chance to feel superior.

OP, two of my dear friends had to deal with CPS lately because of the exact scenario you described, complete with home visits and parenting classes and charges that were later dropped. The only difference is that they had older children in the car, as well, watching the little ones. In both cases, the onlookers called the cops immediately, as soon as the mother walked away, and refused to back off when she immediately returned.

Lesson learned? Do your best to avoid situations where busybodies can get involved. It rarely ends well.

But don't beat yourself up. The guy was a jerk.

[Anonymous]

I definitely would not have left my baby in a hot car regardless of the distance, and i speak as a mother of twin infants. That's just me though as my tolerance for risk, when it comes to my kids, is way low. There are many things i just dont do if i find them so logistically challenging that it would mean, to MY mind, endangering my babies. Also by the sound of it, if you were going such a short distance, you did not need to put the baby in the stroller ( why the need to exaggerate the point?). You could have just picked up the snap and go on its own. 
I know people have a much higher tolerance for risk in these matters than I do,  as is evidenced by the responses here. If I were the bystander,  I would have waited for youfor a reasonable length of time before taking any action. What if something had happened to you? I would never be able to live with myself if I saw a baby in a hot car and drove away only to find out later something had gone horribly wrong. I'm sure the parents who have lost children this way ( not including those who had a memory lapse) all thought they had made perfectly safe decisions. Just my opinion.