Chores for Elementary School Age Kids?

[Anonymous]

I recommend figuring out what the new expectations are and having a family discussion to talk about it. 1 Strategy we use is that on Sunday after dinner, we talk about the upcoming week, hand out allowance, and do a general touch point on family life. Since allowance is handed out at the end of the discussion, we get pretty good attention and engaged participation.

Also, you might want to frame it not as chores but rather as what it means to be part of the family. Everyone contributes etc.

[Anonymous]

I admit...I didn't read the whole thread but I will say that your DH is wrong. I know from experience, my own! I never had to do chores and I am a super lazy about housekeeping now and also with a bigger symptom of being allowed to be irresponsible.

[Anonymous]

You are between a rock and a hard place here. I will tell you what our kids do and what I wished I started earlier. In fact, I just printed out their summer chore charts, includes reading, typing etc. Now if I can be disciplined and make them follow them.

One thing I emphasize is that it's our responsibility to teach them life skills and theirs to learn. They have to know how to take care of themselves once they move out. I'm from a blended family of 10 kids and my half always joked about the other half (stepmom's kids) because they literally didn't know how to open a garage door without the opener - or do any chores. My mom was extreme the other way even though we had maids and nannies. I remember scrubing the kitchen floor with a toothbrush in spots!

I believe there's a happy medium, so I work alongside my kids until they've mastered the steps. Then I have to constantly check on them. It would be easier to do the chores myself but I've seen the consequences.

Try and make it interesting by telling them tidbits/how they'll impress others with their knowledge, put on music, whatever it takes to get them involved. Have them show you the steps after you've taught and observed some. They love to show off - better yet, have them show DH - perhaps make it a "surprise" for him and convince them it will be so exciting to show him how grown up they are.

Here's what my kids do and what they've also learned, even if they don't do it all the time. PS they've know how to do laundry since 7 and 9. DS hung over the washer for a few years and I supervised.

9 yo ds empties trash cans throughout the house and washes/dries/ fold/puts away (sort of puts away) his clothes, this summer will make bed/clean room, help unload/load dishwasher. He also can set table and clean bathrooms w/ supervision.

DD, almost 12, wants to be in charge of cooking dinner one night a week this summer. She also does all that her younger DB does and cleans bath w/ minimal supervision.

They also know how to vacuum and sweep but need more supervision with this b/c they miss a lot.

They are so busy during the school year that they can't fit in all of the above. Summer is a great time to have them learn it all or review by practicing it. During school, we focus on laundry, trash, setting table, some unload/load if there's time etc.

Good luck! Consider showing your DH these replies so he can see how others think/operate re: chores.

[Anonymous]

Stepmom here- look, Rome wasn't built in a day. Chores are just one of the MANY things you will have to work out together. If you don't start off with chores fully implemented, from my perspective, that is something you can build on gradually. While I think chores are good and important, I don't think that not having this detailed ironed out from the beginning has to be a major issue- unless you want it to be one.

I would start small -everybody makes their beds. You don't even need DH to be on board with you for that one. Make it fun. Have them make their bed so they can get a special note or a treat underneath it unexpectedly on somedays to make it an adventure.

One month later, layer something else into the routine. Eventually they'll be doing chores, and if you can do it in a fun way, they might not mind as much, and DH won't even have to be on the same page b/c its not something that has to be enforced - it just happens.

FWIW - my SD does her laundry and e coli be damned cleans one bathroom fixture on a weekly schedule(reference from another thread...) Adding chores slowly, one at a time over a period of time is a heck of a lot easier than saying here is your new chore chart...Good luck!

[Anonymous]

OP again- thank you all. Great suggestions here...esp the one about not calling them "chores". I am always impressed, when I post, that people take so much thought in their replies. This is a great resource.

Amazing how things that seem "small" can be a very big deal. This issue is one of them.....it really has an impact (IMHO) on the character of the child you raise....that is never small.

[Anonymous]

Here's one article about the importance of choirs--it's on a family psychologist's web page, so there's at least some expertise behind it:

http://familyshrink.com/areas-of-focus/parenting/household-chores-for-children/

And another:

http://www.empoweringparents.com/How-to-Get-Kids-to-Do-Chores.php#

And here's some links about blended families and chores:

http://www.ultimateparenting.com/chores_and_responsibilities_for_blended_families.html

http://www.circleofmoms.com/article/HouseholdChoresplaceholdertitle-00161