Are you a non-Catholic family at a Catholic school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids were in private Catholic schools and we were not Catholic. I didn't feel like Catholicism was pushed on them. They did attend chapel once a week on Wednesdays. But something like 30% of the student population was non-Catholic. It was definitely a Christian type of service, but not all that Catholicy.

However, our family converted to Catholicism because of my kids' experience in the Catholic schools. I was just so impressed with the loving supportive environment of the schools and with the way in which religious education was presented. It was the total opposite of what I experienced growing up in the southern Baptist Church. In the Catholic school that my kids attended, science was just science. There was no attempt to mix science and religion. They weren't in controversy like they are in so many protestant churches.

Our story is kind of funny. After several months in the school, I wanted to make sure my kids weren't being taught to pray to Mary or any of that nonsense. So I asked to talk with the priest. He met with my DH and me and suggested that if we wanted to learn more about what our kids were learning, that we come to "classes" on Wednesday evenings. We loved the classes! We met some great people. And we loved the intelligent discussions about the Catholic Church, world religion, current events..... It was seveal weeks before we realized that we were in RCIA! And a few months later, we were Catholic. That was almost 10 years ago.

Please don't think I'm suggesting that anything like that would happen in your case. It was just kind of a funny surprise for us. Both DH and I grew up Southern Baptist believing that Catholics worshiped Mary and were a little nuts. We were the last people in the world anyone would have expected to convert.

This is very interesting to me. My son is attending Catholic school in the fall, so I started taking him to Mass even though nobody in my family is Catholic. I was very pleasantly suprized and am considering converting (though I understand it is an involved process).

No one in my family was Catholic either. Just very, very, very Southern Baptist. It's really not that involved a process. You attend "RCIA" Right of Christian Initiation for Adults starting around September, then on Easter....Voila! You become Catholic. We actually really, really enjoyed the classes. But I'm sure it depends on who teaches, how they are set up, etc..... We had some amazing guest speakers come in and talk about everything from current events to biblical history. Both my DH and I found the classes very engaging. We ended up staying and working in the RICA program as group leaders.

And like you, I was very surprised by the Catholic Mass.

Thanks for this information! Somehow I thought it took 2 years, which seemed challenging for a working mom, who finds it hard to schedule time to breathe. I'll definitely look into this as fall approaches!

[Anonymous]

My kids went to Catholic school for a year and they liked it but we found it very disturbing. Our first grader was being converted. He was coming home telling us all of the things that Jesus wants him to do and he was talking a lot about heaven and hell. Our older child was already fairly cynical so she just found the religious training bizarre. She would say things along the lines of, "Can you believe they actually taught us that Buddhists can't go to heaven?! And they believe this for a fact!" As a PP pointed out, this was a parish school and it was very inexpensive. I was also disappointed that the arts were all religion based just like the academic classes. Art was religious art (like drawing Jesus on the cross) and music was singing church hymns.

[Anonymous]

I totally agree with 8:31- If you don't want your kids to be taught catholicism, don't send them to a catholic school.

[Anonymous]

Do parents of children in DC area Catholic schools need to sign any kind of paper saying that they agree to support the teachings of the Catholic church in their homes (or at least, not to undermine them or speak against them to their children?) A friend in the area told me they were required to sign something like that, and that it was an archdiscesan requirement.

[Anonymous]

At our school, I have found that many parents (Catholic and non-Catholic) have to un-teach some of the teachings at home. I think that is quite hard for the child to be getting multiple messages. So if you are not set on the Catholic teachings, I would not do it. Some schools are very conservative and can actually get quite preachy, so just do your research.

[Anonymous]

I hate to be a jerk, but if you send your kid to a Catholic primary school (especially an Archdiocese school), you are going to get a good dose of religion. And you should expect that. Religion is a huge part of the curriculum. Believe it or not, most parents send their kids there knowing that and are willing to pay for that. :o) That is the case with most religious schools. So…if you do not want the kid to get religion at school, you should not send them to a religious school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do parents of children in DC area Catholic schools need to sign any kind of paper saying that they agree to support the teachings of the Catholic church in their homes (or at least, not to undermine them or speak against them to their children?) A friend in the area told me they were required to sign something like that, and that it was an archdiscesan requirement.

I have never heard of this.

[Anonymous]

We are a Catholic family with DC at a Catholic HS. We love the school, but I think 5 days a week for 4 year of Theology is too much. I'd prefer that they be able to take other electives or have a study hall. So I guess it's a bit too Catholic for us -- but love it otherwise. We're at Bishop O'Connell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate to be a jerk, but if you send your kid to a Catholic primary school (especially an Archdiocese school), you are going to get a good dose of religion. And you should expect that. Religion is a huge part of the curriculum. Believe it or not, most parents send their kids there knowing that and are willing to pay for that. :o) That is the case with most religious schools. So…if you do not want the kid to get religion at school, you should not send them to a religious school.

You aren't the jerk here.

What you are reading are posts from people who like the teachers, and most of the curriculum and the discipline of Catholic Schools, but they don't like the religious education or indoctrination. They like everything but what makes the Catholic schools Catholic. Their raison d'etre". I have heard of "cafeteria" Catholics, but this is beyond even that. For them Catholic schools are merely a "good deal" and they are entitltled to all the good deals they are able to wangle.

I wonder if they have ever thought that sending their kids to Catholic schools and then de-programming them is fundamentally wrong. Even if there is no contract they sign, they should surely know what the deal is. Why would the Catholic church have its own schools if not for the propagation of the faith?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do parents of children in DC area Catholic schools need to sign any kind of paper saying that they agree to support the teachings of the Catholic church in their homes (or at least, not to undermine them or speak against them to their children?) A friend in the area told me they were required to sign something like that, and that it was an archdiscesan requirement.

Never heard of such a thing. IF, however, there were then I can guess at a reason. My guess is that it wouldn't be about a goal of "trying to convert all the little heathen children". My guess is that the school administration would be concerned that you'd have kids getting really confused and struggling going back and forth between school theology and home where parents say "those catholics are a bunch of nuts". Being a non-Catholic at a Catholic school isn't a big deal. Being a non-Catholic actively and negatively pushing back against the theology probably isn't in the best interests of the child stuck in the middle.

Again, never heard of such a thing in practice, though.

[Anonymous]

Why would it come as a surprise to people that a school with it's fundamental basis being religion that so much of it's culture is religious? Clearly if it's not beliefes you share, it probably isn't the best fit for you or you at least have to know you need to be able to live with it. A school shouldn't have to change for it's families.

[Anonymous]

Parish schools run by Catholic churches exist to educate the children of the parish and instruct them in the teachings of the Catholic faith. In the last decades they have accepted and educated non-Catholic children as circumstances and economics have dictated. Non-Cathlic children who attend such schools should expect, and understand beforehand, the mission of the school. However, no child is indoctrinated or forced to comply with Catholic practices. The independent Catholic schools are not under the administrative umbrella of a diocese but they are nonetheless in the business of educating children in the Catholic faith.

If a non-Catholic decides for whatever reason to send their child to a Catholic school there is a simple answer to any child's question about a teaching that confuses them: "Yes, dear, that's what they believe but we aren't Catholics and we believe ... (explain what you believe). And that's okay. We send you to the school for ... (explain your reason in age-appropriate terms)."

No forms are signed; there are no trap doors in the confessionals; and it's called "Mass" not chapel.

Religious bigots need not, and indeed should not, apply.

[Anonymous]

There's free wafers and wine at Mass, too.

Don't mind the rest of it. Afterall, you're entitled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would it come as a surprise to people that a school with it's fundamental basis being religion that so much of it's culture is religious? Clearly if it's not beliefes you share, it probably isn't the best fit for you or you at least have to know you need to be able to live with it. A school shouldn't have to change for it's families.

I'm the pp whose children attended Catholic school for one year and I can say that I was not at all surprised that the school was religious. Of course not. But I was surprised at the exclusion of all other valuable things such as non-religious art and music, perhaps some non-religious plays just for fun, etc. Creativity in any form was really frowned upon. PE and recess were constantly being cancelled for extra church services. It was just too much. Also, as a non Catholic, I was surprised by the extreme nature of some of the religious teachings. I know a lot of Catholic people who are much more liberal. So maybe I was just naive... But my kids only stayed for one year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know the Catholic schools in the area have a great curriculum, and I think that private school is a better option for my DS, just given how he’s shaping up. $15-20K annually is not in our budget for schooling, and many of the Catholic schools are generally less expensive so I’ve started investigating them for Kindergarten.

DH’s family is Jewish but not practicing. Half of my family is Catholic and quite devout. We aren’t Catholic and have some trouble with certain (hot button) Catholic beliefs. While my son is baptized, we do not attend church and I do not want religion forced on my him (by me or anyone else). When he’s interested, we will do our best to let him explore whatever is out there and support his decisions. That was a baptism promise I made and intend to uphold.

My understanding is that most Catholic schools require students to attend mass and take religion classes. I’m concerned since what he’s taught at school about the hot button issues will differ drastically from what we teach at home. If he was 12, I wouldn’t worry b/c he could sort it out a little more intellectually, but if this starts at a really young age, I fear it will be much more difficult.

SIDEBAR: I have NO intention of turning this thread into a religious discussion and firing people up. Honest. And I mean no disrespect to anyone who reads this and takes offense. I’m just curious how others handle this.

There is a distinct disadvantage to non-Catholic children who attend Diocesan (Parochial) Catholic Schools – non-Catholic students are not fully part of the community, and the non-Catholics are frequently overlooked or marginalized throughout the Pre-K through 8th Grade. The non-Catholic students rarely get promoted to the best of the Catholic high schools after the 8th grade.

The trend is toward even greater Orthodoxy in the Catholic parochial schools. Unless an entire non-Catholic family is willing now to convert to Catholicism, non-Catholics would be wise to weigh the inherent disadvantages your children will have in the Archdiocesan parochial Catholic schools.
-Voice of Experience of parent of several non-Catholic students in a Parochial School