does power corrupt? why do so many prominent men have affairs?

[Anonymous]

I am a married man, and I don't have readily available options. I would have to actively look for it. i.e., I don't go to bars or troll craigslist seeking out sexual partners. I don't travel for work. I've never cheated.

But I think I have a normal sex drive and think about sex the way all men do - first thing I think of when I see or meet any attractive female for the first time is think some form of sexual thought (if only just some subconscious note of how attractive she is) - I think all men do this right?

However, IF I was a celebrity or famous athlete and had gorgeous women throwing themselves at me, what would I do? be hard to think I would turn them all down all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men have needs, and these needs differ from women's needs. I don't think you can blame either gender for them.

I'm a woman, with a little amount of power but a powerful competitive drive, and I have affairs. I also have road rage. The anger, high sex drive and competitive drives are all related I believe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a married man, and I don't have readily available options. I would have to actively look for it. i.e., I don't go to bars or troll craigslist seeking out sexual partners. I don't travel for work. I've never cheated.

But I think I have a normal sex drive and think about sex the way all men do - first thing I think of when I see or meet any attractive female for the first time is think some form of sexual thought (if only just some subconscious note of how attractive she is) - I think all men do this right?

However, IF I was a celebrity or famous athlete and had gorgeous women throwing themselves at me, what would I do? be hard to think I would turn them all down all the time.

I'm a woman, and I have sex during work hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:men have affairs if they have options.

That is an insult to men who believe in fidelity. Really. You don't cheat just because you have the option. Every person has the option - it is not as though people out there who have affairs are terribly picky about their affair partners. Only some people pursue those options.

Ok, to those 10-20% of men who believe in fidelity (even if not for themselves), I apologize.

The statistics are less skewed than you think. Depending on the study,

50-65% of married men have affairs.
45-55% of married women have affairs.

My best guess is that women who have their own source of income are more likely to have affairs, because they are more capable of handling the consequences, and that explains the difference.

Stereotypes aren't always true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:because they are no different than any other man. 75-80% of men have affairs. The vast majority don't get caught and say nothing b/c they either regret it and won't repeat it or don't regret it but still...why say something? And even most of the men who do get caught are forgiven or its not a public spectacle. Men have learned how to play the relationship game very, very well.

Your stats are way off. I think it is more like 1 in 4 men cheat, and 1 in 5 women cheat. It isn't a man thing at all. There are more men typically in power but overall women cheat almost as much as men. And...3 in 4 men and 4 in 5 women stay faithful. I am sure the %'s of cheaters are higher if you include cybersex, emotional affairs etc..

[Anonymous]

And why shouldn't they? It's not as if we hold them accountable. Sure, their marriage might tank, but the more important relationship, the one with the public, is rarely touched. How many times have you heard someone say, in the aftermath of a public sexual scandal, "I don't care what he does with his personal life. He's a smart/ good president/governor/senator, and his actions in office are all that matter to me."

Heck, Elliot Spitzer's career got a BOOST after the hookers came to light. He's making more money and enjoying greater fame now as a pundit than when he was governor.

And Vitter... he is more than ever the darling of the conservatives after confessing to his prostitute habit, because he has "seen the light" and champions conservative causes. It's like having a scandal to "overcome" made them trust him more.

It's ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Why do so many women allow themselves to enter affairs with married men?

[Anonymous]

I think it has to do with a propensity for risk-taking behavior. Some people are excited by risk. It excites them and tempts them. This risk-taking can be useful in building a career. People who are risk-averse tend to have jobs that are stable but are unlikely to lead to wealth or fame. If risk taking is in their nature, they just cannot resist taking risks. It is wired into them.

[Anonymous]

Henry Kissinger said that power is the ultimate aphrodisiac, and if it was enough to get him laid, it certainly gives most politicians a lot of options. Not all men are cheaters, but on the other hand everyone is vulnerable to temptation, and most men who remain loyal have never really been put to a test by a truly attractive woman pushing hard for sex. If a man is in a high profile position where lots of women are throwing themselves at him, a lot of them are eventually going to cheat. This is also why I think so many celebrity marriages fail -- too many very attractive interlopers approaching both spouses. People aren't made of stone.

[Anonymous]

I don't think its that powerful or prominent people cheat more than the rest of us. Its just that we hear about it a lot more if they are famous. I have NO stats to prove this but I would think that the percentage of married people who cheat is similar across all social classes, not just the rich and powerful. Just watch Jerry Springer or Maury.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think its that powerful or prominent people cheat more than the rest of us. Its just that we hear about it a lot more if they are famous. I have NO stats to prove this but I would think that the percentage of married people who cheat is similar across all social classes, not just the rich and powerful. Just watch Jerry Springer or Maury.

all about opportunity. the poor and the very powerful have the most access and opportunity. it is us corporate drones who don't get the chances!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it has to do with a propensity for risk-taking behavior. Some people are excited by risk. It excites them and tempts them. This risk-taking can be useful in building a career. People who are risk-averse tend to have jobs that are stable but are unlikely to lead to wealth or fame. If risk taking is in their nature, they just cannot resist taking risks. It is wired into them.

Yes, this.

[Anonymous]

The question should be why do woman sleep with married men? After all, men are dogs, little more than an animals. What do you women tell your sons? Do you tell your son he is no more than an animal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:clinton, arnold, the IMF guy.
why, in a position of extreme scrutiny and prominence, would you have an affair? putting aside all respect for your wife or for the institution of marriage, isn't having an extra marital affair just shooting yourself in the foot because if you get found out, your career could go down the tubes? are men just really really dumb?

and why don't women do this more? more respect for family? for marriage? more likely to get blasted by the press and REALLY lose their jobs as opposed to the bill clintons who will pray it off and then laugh it off?

Because they can. Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely and power is a powerful aphrodisiac.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that testosterone has a lot to do with it.

Ditto.