so mad...need someone to calm me down

[Anonymous]

I had a similar problem. I was 12 weeks and we told my in laws and my husband's immediate family. Of course, we asked them to keep it private until I got my genetic testing results back. Well my BIL opened his big mouth and told some of his friends who then proceeded to text me "Congratulations!". I was LIVID and started crying. I sent a group email to my in-laws and my BIL explaining my displeasure. Luckily I had blocked my wall on facebook -- something I did as a precaution when I got pregnant, so no one posted there.

I am so sorry you have to deal with this.

[Anonymous]

I didn't intend to tell anybody until 12 weeks but while visiting family at 6 weeks I started bleeding and had to go to the ER...and they STILL told everybody, even with the heightened miscarriage risk. I was livid and this seriously hurt my relationship with my extended family, permanently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't intend to tell anybody until 12 weeks but while visiting family at 6 weeks I started bleeding and had to go to the ER...and they STILL told everybody, even with the heightened miscarriage risk. I was livid and this seriously hurt my relationship with my extended family, permanently.

Wow, what assholes. This takes the cake.

[Anonymous]

PP here: yeah, there's nothing like coming home from the hospital with a worksheet on what to do if you start to pass tissue, and having everybody blowing up the phones all, "Congrats on the baby!"

Luckily everything worked out for me, and I have a healthy DD now, but I still want to cry with fury when I think of this time in my life.

[Anonymous]

I think you should confront your SIL especially since she knew you wanted to keep it a secret.

[Anonymous]

OP here, she texted she was sorry. Part of me wants to confront but what else is she going to do other than apologize. I don't want to make too big of a deal out of it but I am just still so mad. I feel like I'm being irrational about it.

[Anonymous]

You're in good company -- Carla Bruni's FIL just broke her news to the world media!

In all seriousness, I'd be furious too. As other PPs suggested, disable posts to your FB Wall for the time being. I think it's also OK to let your SIL know that this exposed your news to your work colleagues and you're quite hurt over it. She owes you more than a text here.

[Anonymous]

God, OP. This sucks and I'm sorry that you have to deal with your SIL who clearly violated your trust.

For what it's worth, I block my in-laws AND my work colleagues from seeing my Facebook wall. They can't see my wall or post on it. Ever. I created a list of those closest to me that can see everything on my page - the rest can only see my "bare bones" profile.

Not sure if this is something you would want to do, but I have found it to be a great solution when you don't want everyone to know what you're up to, but don't want to "unfriend" them either...

[Anonymous]

I would be LIVID. Why do you think your SIL felt the need to invade your privacy, share you good news, and betray your trust? So sorry you are dealing with this right now...

and on a a side note: congrats!

[Anonymous]

i think many of us have a SIL just like yours. my sil told my brother i was engaged even though i explicitly told her i wanted to share the news personally. and when it was clear he had not heard, she just went on with all of the details instead of shutting her mouth and saying - call your sister.

5 years later, 6 weeks pregnant with #2 (shared with immediate family because of some complications) i ran into her co-workers who congratulated me on my pregnancy. some people just can not keep their mouth shut. (and my SIL wonders why she is now the last to know anything)

[Anonymous]

I agree with some of the comments others have said. My SIL posted pics of #1 even before me or DH did and I was livid. I didn't want to speak with her at all when I saw her because I knew a stream of insults would pour out. My sisters (who had been at the hospital all day) asked for my permission to post their pics and/or even email them to other family members. So I guess I was mad that she had just arrived and within 5 minutes of meeting the baby had already posted pics of me, MY family... Ugh! Meanwhile my MIL was not too pleased that DH and I were expecting (even planned a trip overseas around my due date!) I had to think about what I really wanted for my baby and in the end I have forgiven SIL for doing that. I understand that she was excited (more than her mom) but I still believe she should have asked. In your SIL's case, I would speak with her & try to find some way (on my own) to forgive her. At the end of the day she is an excited Aunt who went into overdrive.

Also, I make it a point not to "friend" any co-workers on fb because sometimes I need to vent about work (no names are ever mentioned).

[Anonymous]

You are not obligated to tell work or make an announcement on facebook. Stick to your original timeline.

[Anonymous]

1. SIL apologized, so even if you are still mad at her (which I completely understand!), let it go for now. Make sure she is the last to know any future secrets.

2. Separate your private and professional life as much as you can. I think it is so unhealthy to have everyone on FB, Linked-in, etc... It is just asking for trouble.

[sybersus]

That is really irritating. I actually turned the ability to post to my wall off while I told close family/friends but had not yet told work to avoid that very situation. Still, at 8 weeks what is anyone doing posting to your wall?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, she texted she was sorry. Part of me wants to confront but what else is she going to do other than apologize. I don't want to make too big of a deal out of it but I am just still so mad. I feel like I'm being irrational about it.

Hey, YOU aren't making it a big deal, it IS a big deal.