Piggybacking friends

[Anonymous]

I don't know what specific activities the OP is referring to, but as others have noted, the simple solution is to identify activities ate dates, times and locations suitable for you, and after you have registered, share it with others.

Many of these activities, such as swimming or gymnastics, will fill up pretty quickly with or without you, your friend, or her friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks PPs. No I have not posted this before. I agree with PPs that this happens a lot because of lack of spaces! I have to learn to not say anything, I do feel used. I really have to not say anything until after the registration date starts. The part I find hurtful is that she thinks to invite others without regard for me, without me she wouldn't even know about it. As if she is trying to gain some sort of points with her other friends (who I don't know) at my expense. Which is what I mean when I say it's like a big f*ck you to me. Thank you for your support and advice. I was puzzled by the blatant disregard by someone who is supposed to be my friend. If someone told me about something (a class for example), I don't think I would have the guts to cut in front of them, with a few others in tow, and then expect them not to care or expect me (yup, it gets better) to be excited for them - WTF? It seems twisted to me. Competitive is one thing. Yes, not much different than 7th grade perhaps, PP. I guess I'm the only one, so maybe its me

But you are the one who told her about it so why would she invite you? She knows you already know about it, you told her! She is telling her other friends who aren't aware about it. She probably assumes you are telling her in case she is interested and wants to join. Do you really expect her to then keep checking with you and never sign up for anything until you give her the go-ahead?

I doubt she has inside knowledge as to how many spaces are available in each class - she isn't cutting in front of you, she is signing up for classes the same as you. If you were telling her before the registration date then she can't register any sooner than you can - you both have to wait for the date. I don't see any blatant disregard for you at all, or someone trying to gain points at your expense or having the guts to cut in front...these statements OP seem like oversensitive personalizations and overreactions.

As others have said - just don't say anything until you are signed up. And yes I think it is you, not her that has the issue.

[Anonymous]

If you feel used, then sign up for the class first, then share with others, "Hey, this sounded really great, so I signed DC up. Thought you might also be interested."

No drama, mama.

[Anonymous]

Why doesn't she sign up for classes closer to her home?

[Anonymous]

I don't get why you think she's slighting you. She's probably clueless and thinks that your ideas are great, then wonders why you're not there.

[Anonymous]

After the umteenth time, she doesn't figure it out? Feigning ignorance = old + quick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you feel used, then sign up for the class first, then share with others, "Hey, this sounded really great, so I signed DC up. Thought you might also be interested."

No drama, mama.

Yes, this is a good suggestion, OP.

Don't bother with the useless drama.

[Anonymous]

What on earth do you expect? When people sign up for classes, they do it as fast as they can to get a spot. Who in their right mind is going to say "hmm, I'm going to give it a few days to be sure Marcia is in and then I'll sign up".

You bring the problem on yourself.

[Anonymous]

OP, in all honesty, you don't sound very grown up!

What on earth do you expect this woman to do with the information that you found a neat class to sign up for?

You told her, of course she'll mention it to others. Why shouldn't she?

And why should she wait a few days before signing up (to be sure you already got in?) That makes no sense.

If your feelings are hurt by this, you have a significant amount of maturing to do.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Namecalling notwithstanding, there are sign up dates that are effective and I just need to learn to say something after the sign up start. But thanks for the unnecessary entitlement and drama.

Serious thanks for the ones with productive suggestions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Namecalling notwithstanding, there are sign up dates that are effective and I just need to learn to say something after the sign up start. But thanks for the unnecessary entitlement and drama.

Serious thanks for the ones with productive suggestions.

You mean, you are telling people about the classes BEFORE the sign up dates are even open?

Again -- what are you expecting? That they'll just say "Oh, cool for you." but not sign up themselves, out of respect/concern for you?

[Anonymous]

I see this a little differently than you. It sounds like she wants to her child to be with your child which is why she is signing up for the same classes and maybe she is one of those inclusive people so she is telling other friends as well. typically when I share plans with someone I'm already signed up to do whatever and I feel the more the merrier so she probably assumes you already signed up and may be disappointed when you don't show.

We may get a post on DCUM from her complaining about the friend who often says she is signing up for such and such class and then doesn't and feels that you are avoiding her for some reason.

[Anonymous]

It's no secret that the classes book quickly. Inclusive my a**. Who is to say everyone is on DCUM? Why the defensiveness? Are you a bully?

[Anonymous]

Defensive? How is that post defensive?

[Anonymous]

but aren't you suggesting the class to her to see if she thinks its a good idea and wants to sign up? If she didn't would you still sign up? If so, then why aren't you signing up and registering than calling her and saying "hey sign Jr. up for this class so they can be in it together"