Adults who snatch toys from other people's children (or tell their children to)...

[Anonymous]

This happens to my 3 yo with Down syndrome too often. It makes me sad. I don't what people are thinking. I'm not sure I'm doing the right thing, but I stick up for him and say to the other child what he should say, if he could: "He was playing with that train. If you want a turn, you can ask him to give it to you when he is finished and say "Can I have that train when you are finished, please?" Then I would take train from train-snatching child and give back to my child." I feel mean, but I also feel that I need to stick up for him and model for him what he should say, when he is eventually able to say it. I'm so sorry, OP. People, adults and kids, can be mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I encounter this all the time. It's amazing, my assumption is that parents just arent realizing what they are doing. Last week we when we were leaving daycare a toy my DD brought from home was in another childs hands. I could have taken it from her, but shed cry and I'd be that mom. I told my DD (you'll get it tomorrow) and told the teacher to put it aside for us.

I don't want her to learn that's ok.

I disagree here... I think it's important to let kids know that sometimes you have to let the toy you're playing with go! We do this with my 19mo when it's time to go or clean up, and he cries sometimes, but tough! That is life. Not trying to be cruel to him, but he needs to learn that he can't always play with what he wants. I respect your choice, but I'd also see it as an opportunity to talk to the other kid and trade them back for our own toy. Nice of you to leave it there to keep the peace, but I don't think I would have!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I encounter this all the time. It's amazing, my assumption is that parents just arent realizing what they are doing. Last week we when we were leaving daycare a toy my DD brought from home was in another childs hands. I could have taken it from her, but shed cry and I'd be that mom. I told my DD (you'll get it tomorrow) and told the teacher to put it aside for us.

I don't want her to learn that's ok.

Don't want her to learn it is okay to ask for her toys back?

If we are leaving and another child has my child's toy I will take it back, or if the parent is there, ask them to get it back....otherwise it gets lost. And if my child has someone else's toy when we are leaving I expect her to give it back, (I'll take it from her). However there are ways to get toys back without snatching. I think your scenario and the OP's are totally different.

She goes to daycare everyday. The toy will be waiting for her tomorrow. If we were never coming back, yes- she could "ask" for it back (these are 15month - 2 year old). But I wasn't going to snatch a toy from an 18 month old. Maybe you are that kind of parent, not me.

So what you are saying is the only way you know to get anything from someone is to snatch it away? That is too bad, and kind of setting your daughter up to be a doormat. As you see in my post I said there other ways to get things back other then to snatch them out of a child's hands...so no I am not that parent. You should ask daycare to give you ideas on how you can get your child's toys back (without snatching)...there are other ways.

[Anonymous]

At montessori school, there is a firm rule that you MUST wait your turn for any toy or work material. You can alert the child who currently has it that you are interested, but you can not take it until the item is back on the shelf. I think it is a great strategy and teaches patience and grace at a young age.

[Anonymous]

I haven't seen this, but can't say I'm surprised.

Bad enough when parents don't enforce turn-taking. I make my daughter wait her turn at the playground when it comes to slides and ladders and swings and whatnot. I am at a complete loss when another child dashes in front of her when she's been patiently waiting. And even if the parents are nearby and watching, very, very few intervene.

[Anonymous]

haven't seen this, but can't say I'm surprised.

Bad enough when parents don't enforce turn-taking. I make my daughter wait her turn at the playground when it comes to slides and ladders and swings and whatnot. I am at a complete loss when another child dashes in front of her when she's been patiently waiting. And even if the parents are nearby and watching, very, very few intervene.

It is frustrating when this happens, but just try and turn it into a teaching opportunity. Tell your DD that some kids don't understand rules and polite behavior yet. It is true. She'll experience this more and more when she grows up, and it will be useful for her to know that people that behave this way are often just clueless and are to be looked on with pity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven't seen this, but can't say I'm surprised.

Bad enough when parents don't enforce turn-taking. I make my daughter wait her turn at the playground when it comes to slides and ladders and swings and whatnot. I am at a complete loss when another child dashes in front of her when she's been patiently waiting. And even if the parents are nearby and watching, very, very few intervene.

I would say to the child who is 'budding' in line...something like "oh it isn't your turn quite yet, these two girls here are waiting for the slide. If you stand behind then you will be next in line". If the child ignores it and goes ahead and buds then so be it and I do what the other poster says and explain to my child about her still having to do the right thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

haven't seen this, but can't say I'm surprised.

Bad enough when parents don't enforce turn-taking. I make my daughter wait her turn at the playground when it comes to slides and ladders and swings and whatnot. I am at a complete loss when another child dashes in front of her when she's been patiently waiting. And even if the parents are nearby and watching, very, very few intervene.

It is frustrating when this happens, but just try and turn it into a teaching opportunity. Tell your DD that some kids don't understand rules and polite behavior yet. It is true. She'll experience this more and more when she grows up, and it will be useful for her to know that people that behave this way are often just clueless and are to be looked on with pity.

You had me until that last bit. That's just as unattractive as not taking turns! Maybe the other parents are teaching their kids on a different time line than you think they should be, or maybe they don't chastise their kids in public, or maybe they are spacing out, chatting or texting (likely) and didn't notice what was going on. In any event, it is a certainty that your DC will one day do something socially unacceptable and she should hope for some understanding from those around her, especially if she is still in the learning process.

[Anonymous]

It is frustrating when this happens, but just try and turn it into a teaching opportunity. Tell your DD that some kids don't understand rules and polite behavior yet. It is true. She'll experience this more and more when she grows up, and it will be useful for her to know that people that behave this way are often just clueless and are to be looked on with pity.

You had me until that last bit. That's just as unattractive as not taking turns! Maybe the other parents are teaching their kids on a different time line than you think they should be, or maybe they don't chastise their kids in public, or maybe they are spacing out, chatting or texting (likely) and didn't notice what was going on. In any event, it is a certainty that your DC will one day do something socially unacceptable and she should hope for some understanding from those around her, especially if she is still in the learning process.

Why are you taking that so negatively? People who make mistakes should be looked on with pity. I didn't say they should be publicly shamed or ridiculed. I think it is fine for a child to look at another who is committing a social blunder and think "It is too bad he doesn't know better." Much better to pity than to get angry about it.