Need opinions on splitting cost of parents' surprise party between stepsiblings

[Anonymous]

I think you should make up for the difference by hosting breakfast for the full family (say, at the hotel's restaurant), or otherwise picking up some of their other travel expenses (take the kids out for the afternoon?).

[Anonymous]

Presumably, this party was agreed upon by all of you and your stepbrother knew how much it would cost for travel. The cost of the party should be divided among all of you without regard to travel costs.

[Anonymous]

If you, your brother, and your stepbrother all agreed to host the party, I would take that to mean that there was agreement on a general budget, location, guest list, etc. Basically, all the essentials of the actual party are agreed upon, as was splitting those costs evenly three ways.

I could see, however, an extension that the party costs include transportation costs for the three of you (possibly extended to each of your own families). I mean, would there still be a party if any of the three of you couldn't attend? It's almost like the presence of you, your brother, and your stepbrother are one of the essentials of the party, and therefore transportation costs might "fairly" come into play for splitting. Further, would it there still be a party if those spouses and kids couldn't come? Just another way to think about it...

If you do not incorporate some or all of the travel expenses in the overall budget, I like the idea of helping out your stepbrother with travel expenses yourself....if you can swing it. I don't think that has to be of any concern to your brother, i.e. not announced, but not really on the "sly" either. I'd go the avenue of helping out directly, rather than taking people out for a breakfast/lunch/dinner as a "thank you." Put the funds in your stepbrother's pocket and let him figure out the best way to use it.