WWYD - Found strip of condom wrapper in DD's purse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I decide to specifically mention it (which I am leaning towards)... any suggestions on how to mention?

PP who was in the same position, were there any things that you did that you felt were helpful or averted more issues?

I hope this isn't because of something actually happening, but am well aware that hope isn't a plan. Its crazy to me if there is, b/c what are we supposed to do- lock her in her room until 16? We have a really good handle now on who she is hanging out with and where she is and are pretty careful - if something is happening even in this window, how are we going to get through the next 5 years. Just frustrated.

Her dad and I repeatedly assured her we love her very much and just want the best for her and that we were not mad at her. It was hard for the both of us to confront the issue but DD was more embarassed than angry.

[Anonymous]

OP back - I casually asked about it, and learned from DD that her and a friend were curious about it, so they were testing it by stretching, etc, and learned that they really do break.

I'm glad I asked. I think I was able to do it in a way where she didn't feel like she was on the spot.

I just reinforced if she has questions as the years go on or wants to see one again to understand more about it to feel free to let me know. I left DH out of the discussion (but kept him in the loop after).

I think I'll be back on this board a lot in the coming years....thanks for all the feedback. It definitely helped in my approach.

[Anonymous]

FYI OP my little sister confessed to me recently that she had sex for the first time at 13. 13! I was 19 when I did....

Anyway it DOES happen, even with seemingly nice, well behaved kids who are good students etc.

Please be safe instead of sorry and make sure she is on birth control, so that when she DOES decide to have sex she doesn't end up needing an abortion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FYI OP my little sister confessed to me recently that she had sex for the first time at 13. 13! I was 19 when I did....

Anyway it DOES happen, even with seemingly nice, well behaved kids who are good students etc.

Please be safe instead of sorry and make sure she is on birth control, so that when she DOES decide to have sex she d[b]oesn't end up needing an abortion.

Or needs to place a baby up for adoption. Sorry, can't resist. Just bugs me when people don't remember that as an option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FYI OP my little sister confessed to me recently that she had sex for the first time at 13. 13! I was 19 when I did....

Anyway it DOES happen, even with seemingly nice, well behaved kids who are good students etc.

Please be safe instead of sorry and make sure she is on birth control, so that when she DOES decide to have sex she doesn't end up needing an abortion.

OP here- I genuinely don't get the sense this is happening right now, but agree that it can happen, and even with kids it doesn't seem like its happening with. I have talked to DD repeatedly in the past, and again last night, that when people are ready to have sex they should be on 2 forms of birth control OR plan a trip to Home Depot to pick out paint colors for the nursery b/c they are having a baby...

When she is a little older, think we will go that route to "regulate periods" but I just can't get comfortable putting a 13 year old on BC who I don't have reason to believe is having sex. (Beyond the condom strip, which I am sure she was not lying to me.) DH and I will be staying very closely tuned in. And agree on PP's point of adoption. Let's hope we don't even get there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:don't be cute, sit her down, say you found this in her purse(my house my rules thing or what ever you say, just do not get side tracked on the trust issue, different issue for a different time) and let her talk, find out what is going on.(bring dh in and be united before you sit with her)

...and this is where I'd say it was a water balloon no matter what if it were me and I was 13.