Parents with older kids/teens--what do the rest of us need to know

[Anonymous]

I think the original posting was about the difficulties/benefits of more than one child once they reach the teen years. I was an only child, and I found in high school I was almost completely disconnected emotionally from my parents. They had no idea what I cared about, where I was most of the time and what was good or bad in my life. I was "good" kid, and this disconnection didn't really have any lasting import perhaps, but it could have if my teen years had included more bad choices or bumps. My two daughters, both now in high school, may have fought a lot when one was in middle school and the other in 4rth or 5th grade, because at that point at such different places developmentally, but I have found as they have gotten older that their relationship, which is really strong, has helped with parenting as well. They support each other, and if something is really wrong, even without breaking confidences they can bring issues to parental attention sooner rather than later. They have a "safe space" with each other at home. They are very similar in some ways (the external stuff, both athletic, academically strong and look alike) but have very different personalities, and they are in different high schools (which probably helps them get along a lot better, because there is no overt competition at school, for the same group of friends, etc). Anyway, I am extremely grateful that they have each other and that there are two of them so close in age. I can see how the converse could be true if there were huge differences in their talents/attributes or were more overtly competitive, but all in all it has been a lot easier I think to parent teens with having more than one of them at the same time going through all the teen stuff. The older one definitely mentors the younger as well in terms of avoiding trouble at parties etc.