Third grader has crush on boy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with some of the posters. It depends on the child's environment and culture as to whether this is innocent. In some families children become sexualized very very early. It all depends on what they see and hear around them. It is not unheard of for young children (even age 8) to have mock sexual intercourse with clothes on and display other inappropriate behavior. What OP describes is nothing that extreme, but I do not think it is wrong for a parent to read a child's diary at this age and keep tabs on what is going on in her child's life. OP, it is not too early to talk to your child about focusing on her education and not having a boyfriend until she is much older. My 8 yr old DD knows how babies are made, and she knows the dangers of teenage pregnancy and how it can prevent a girl from pursuing her dreams and going to college.

This is crazy talk. OP, a crush is innocent. Please don't worry. There are lots of nuts on DCUM. If you have not seen any evidence of the things PP is describing, then don't worry. Your daughter just likes a boy- it's very simple.

[Anonymous]

I had a big crush on a boy in 3rd or 4th grade, and several of my friends had crushes on him, too. He actually chose one particular girl to be his girlfriend, and they were a little "couple" for a while. We must have been 8-9.

[Anonymous]

Last night in the car on the way home my 7 year old 2nd grader was telling me about her new crush, Matthew... It's all very innocent at this age OP. I really would not worry about it.

[Anonymous]

I started crushes on boys in kindergarten. No big deal.

What you feel better if she had a girl crush?

Also, don't violate your daughter's privacy. When she finds out, you will be destroying her confidence and TRUST in you.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe that so many of you chastise OP for reading her THIRD GRADER's diary. An "invasion of privacy?" Are you kidding?? Do you feel that way about reading your kids' homework essays and tests, too?

They are children. I know you want to be their best friend and carry on with them like they're adults and all of that, but if you think you're so smart for looking the other way, I've got news for you. Your kids are probably in more trouble than you realize.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for all the advice - it was reassuring. Thank you all.

[Anonymous]

You should absolutely read her diary! 3rd graders are not proficient at expressing their feelings in conversation. She might not even know how to bring it up to you. You need all the clues you can get about what is going on in her life. Kids do not get the privilege of privacy until they can bear the burden of responsibility for their lives.

[Anonymous]

I suspect that even in Asia, kids had crushes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I suspect that even in Asia, kids had crushes.

This. I grew up in Asia and I don't see how this surprises OP. I wonder which country OP's from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suspect that even in Asia, kids had crushes.

This. I grew up in Asia and I don't see how this surprises OP. I wonder which country OP's from.

Thanks for that, PP. I did not grow up in Asia, but in Brooklyn. I have read a number of novels, though, and the big takeaway is that people are people.