WaPo: Three-year-old suspended from Arlington preschool for too many potty accidents

[Anonymous]

Zoe's mom took her to a potty training class? And the girls mom is emberassed about the childs teacher talking about potty accidents? Them the mom gives an interview to the WA Post? I don't get why the mom is upset about embarassment. Maybe the mom should work on the potty traing rather than give interviews about her daughters bathroom habits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: First of all, how can an article about "potty training" be on the front page of a national newspaper next to the coverage of events in Egypt? Are these two problems of the same importance and caliber to deserve the front page of The Washington Post?
Second, as a mother of two children attending Arlington County Public Schools Montessori Program, I am completely outraged at Zoe Rosso's mother and the writer Brigid Schulte coming forward with this article - BEFORE ANY CHILD ENTERS THE PROGRAM THE PARENTS ARE PLAINLY INFORMED THAT THE CHILD HAS TO BE TOTALLY POTTY TRAINED - NO EXCEPTIONS! And that is also the rule of the private Montessori Schools in Arlington that I know of (like, for example, Chesterbrook).
Therefore, it sounds like Zoe was not completely potty trained when she entered the program. And that the mother was hoping that Zoe would accomplish the potty training requirement while still attending school. Since, obviously, that did not happen by December (and let's give Claremont School credit for being patient - most programs would have not waited that long), Zoe was asked to leave the program for a month. That is also very considerate of Claremont - most schools would have asked to leave for good knowing that there is a long list of applicants waiting to be admitted!
To my opinion, the actions of Zoe's mother, Betsy Rosenblatt Rosso, and the Washington Post writer, Brigid Schulte, by putting this ill constructed and poorly supported by evidence article in the national newspaper are "mildly" irresponsible - they attach a bad name to a program and the school system that are one of the best in the country and diminish the importance of The Washington Post.

Thank you for capturing my exact thoughts!

Mine, too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Zoe's mom took her to a potty training class? And the girls mom is emberassed about the childs teacher talking about potty accidents? Them the mom gives an interview to the WA Post? I don't get why the mom is upset about embarassment. Maybe the mom should work on the potty traing rather than give interviews about her daughters bathroom habits.

Bingo! My thoughts exactly.

[Anonymous]

I'm new poster to this discussion, and I don't live in Arlington.

Am I understanding this correctly? The child was enrolled in a public school Montessori program, but the parents had to pay tuition?

And then when the child enters K, the child may attend that same public school Montessori -- only now I presume for free? Does the school run all through the elementary years, or does it end at K? And can children transfer in from other private preschools later than K? Is there a long wait list?

If kids enter this preschool program and then move up to elementary, and can't get in any way other than through the preschool -- then I can see being upset that kids NEED to be potty trained by 3 in order to start the program. It isn't as simple as saying, "Find another program that doesn't require potty training." Being potty trained by 3 is a requirement for this particular Montessori public program, and not being potty trained by age 3 means your child can't even get on the list to enter the program.

[Anonymous]

Tuition for public preschool in Arlington is on a sliding scale, so it is possible that she had to pay.

Several schools in Arlington have a Montessori program. It may help to get in at the preschool level, but it's not the only way. And if the rules do result in her not being able to get her child into public school Montessori, what do you suggest? The schools don't have the resources to deal with non-potty-trained kids. Those are the breaks. I don't mean to sound heartless, but certain options are closed to parents because of their kids' inclinations and abilities. How is that news?

[Anonymous]

Re: Am I understanding this correctly? The child was enrolled in a public school Montessori program, but the parents had to pay tuition?

Public schools provide free education for all resident students living in the county for Kindergarten through grade 12. Some additional services are provided by the county, but on a sliding fee scale. Preschool (including Montessori Preschool for 3 and 4 year olds) is one of those added services since it is outside of the normal scope of a public school system. But it's definitely a service to families who qualify and are accepted. Low income families do not pay for preschool programs, but for families earning above $70,000 a year (I think) there's a sliding scale for fees. All in all, it's a great service for the community's families, so I totally disagree with mom who believes that in addition to everything else, Arlington Public Schools should also potty train her child.

[Anonymous]

There are many kids in APS and elsewhere who have accidents AND who are not fully potty trained. Many of those children are in special needs classes or programs. So when the school has special circumstances they are as equipped to handle them as they want to be.
My understanding is that this child is potty trained but as MANY NORMAL 3-5 year olds will have accidents particularly when they are stressed.

The child just had surgery too on her eye which something that should have yielded her an ADA accommodation under 504 for a temporary medical condition. Although the child is in a supportive and loving family the medical intervention and medical trauma was stressful enough for her to have some regression in the area of potty training.

When you have adults denigrating children with "shame" over accidents that physically are out of their grasp of control, it appears there are less than competent and possibly cruel people with little common sense in charge. Anyone with an ounce of common sense would expect there to be some sort of regression. I suspect the medical trauma at such a young age would have much more effect on a child than an adult who has life experience with many more coping skills. So when you factor all of this together, you have really outrageous behavior on the part of the school district and nothing in the realm of what is in the best interests of the little girl. I can't even fathom that adults would speak in front of this little child about the her accidents. I would think this would cause great shame around toilet training and is not acceptable! It's not hard to pick up on negativity when it is flung right in the child's face.

The ones who need the education appear to be the school district and their hired help! I would recommend a dose of common sense several times a day plus a hefty ongoing dose of humanity and sensitivity.

[Anonymous]

There’s a hug difference between a special ed preschool classroom and a regular preschool classroom. My 4 yo DS is in a special ed classroom and isn’t potty trained. The school is prepared for it, not because they ‘want’ to be but because it is a program geared towards kids with developmental issues. DS went through a comprehensive evaluation process in order to qualify for the special ed preschool and has an IEP. Zoe Rosso was not in a special ed preschool and that school has every right to require kids be potty trained.

I doubt Zoe ‘just’ had surgery on her eye because this was the second school where her lack of potty-training created a problem. She was even out of the Montessori school for a month. That sure is a lengthy time for a regression caused by “trauma”. But, if this ‘trauma’ did cause a regression that you think deserves accommodations through a 504, her mother could have requested it at any time. It would have been a much bigger story that a school refused reasonable accommodations than a school asked a child to leave because she wasn’t potty trained. But I didn’t see her mother singing that song. Perhaps she knew private preschools aren’t required to accommodated her if it would create an undue hardship on the school.

Even if this ‘trauma’ caused regression it is her mother’s job to recognize that, disclose it to the school and make a decision that better serves her DD. Clearly this school was not a good fit (and not the one that did the public shaming as some have misinterpreted). It is the mother’s fault this occurred, not the school’s. She would have better served getting her DD therapy to lessen the 'trauma' of the surgery rather put her in an environment that prolonged the stress.

[Anonymous]

Brigid, why wasn't the school that publicly shamed the child named in the article?

[Anonymous]

The term "suspended" seems inappropriate at this age. Regardless of your definition of "potty trained". I admit the headline and intro were compelling, this was not "news" or any enlightenment on inside the beltway parenting. The editors should have shown more restraint than turning this into Real Parents of Arlington County. If this had been a story about systemic unjustified suspensions of minority children, well...would that have even made it to the front page? Brigid, as a parent, would you have participated in a similar article as a novice mom? This was not only journalistically disappointing but smacks of exploitation. As a former jorno, I'm familiar with the challenges of ethical lines and bottom lines. But seriously, a preschooler? Funny how this came out after City Paper kerfuffle. I do hope things work out for Zoe. She's probably a lovely child who will be just fine when this blows over.

[Anonymous]

I wanted to share my thoughts on the shame this child will feel as she gets older and her name and potty training issues are archived in the Post for all to see. Anyone googling this girl's name for the next ten + years of her life will see a link to this article. I think frankly that's the worst part of this story.

[Anonymous]

Laws, rules, bad mom, bad school...

I just feel for the kid.

[Anonymous]

Shame on Zoe's Mom and Shame on Bridged. You are Facebook friends and have conspired to embarrass a 3 year old to further your journalistic and communications careers. Nice job!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The term "suspended" seems inappropriate at this age. Regardless of your definition of "potty trained". I admit the headline and intro were compelling, this was not "news" or any enlightenment on inside the beltway parenting. The editors should have shown more restraint than turning this into Real Parents of Arlington County. If this had been a story about systemic unjustified suspensions of minority children, well...would that have even made it to the front page? Brigid, as a parent, would you have participated in a similar article as a novice mom? This was not only journalistically disappointing but smacks of exploitation. As a former jorno, I'm familiar with the challenges of ethical lines and bottom lines. But seriously, a preschooler? Funny how this came out after City Paper kerfuffle. I do hope things work out for Zoe. She's probably a lovely child who will be just fine when this blows over.

The kid was told to leave, and not come back -- sounds like she was suspended, to me.

[Anonymous]

I agree. Montessori schools specify that children must be potty-trained by age 3, in order to be part of the program. They even list it on the application! If the little girl was not fully potty trained and had multiple accidents, then obviously, she did not meet the requirements specified by the school. Instead of trying to pull a fast one on the school and subjecting her daughter to embarrassment, her mother should have: (1) delayed her entry into the Montessori program or (2) sent her daughter to a daycare or a another facility where people are hired to change diapers.

Anonymous wrote:Geez, it seems that a teacher announcing that your child has had accidents is nothing compared to having it published on the front page of the Washington Post!