inflexible husband- just venting

[Anonymous]

I am married to BigLaw partner. He wouldn't dream of treating me so crappily. It's not his profession - it is his personality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're making lots of excuses for your husband...you know that most husbands, even the ones making lots of money, aren't like this. Basic courtesy and respect is missing.

Yes, this. Stop letting him "win." This is your life too.

[Shopmom]

I have been in the position where my husband was consumed with business when we had a very new baby. I felt a lot like I was overwhelmed with my new responsibilities, my old ones as a wife, and yes having a new baby takes a major toll on a marriage. Lets face it, our men no matter how important they are in the corporate world, want to feel needed and wanted at home as well. I dont want to pass judgement on your husband or your marriage because I dont know either of you and I dont have the right. It sounds as if your husband is under a lot of stress and is misdirecting it at you. Perhaps he's angry that he cant spend that time with you and your children now because of work pressure and is dealing with it all wrong, as men often do. I will say that I can sort of understand him wanting to spend the time he does have available with his family without added guests though he was totally irrational expecting to do this when his incorrect scheduling is a conflict today. You guys def. need to talk so that you can tell him just how his actions and attitudes are making you feel. Hopefully he will take your needs into consideration for the good of your family and simply because he loves his wife. If not, that is a serious problem.

[Anonymous]

OP - dh got home, was grateful to have a nice hot lunch waiting for him, was generous and kind with the family friend, remained relaxed through the visit, was extremely nice to my mom.
and then we had a long talk.

no problem solved b/c clearly the job stress isn't going anywhere, but at least we understand where we're both coming from.

[Anonymous]

OP, it sounds like he is just not stepping up. It doesn't mean he's a total ass or a horrible person, but he has to understand that this is what being a parent and having a job and responsibilities is all about.

It sucks sometimes, I am sure we can ALL attest to that. And it's normal to get grumpy. But he's being a big baby and if he doesn't shape up it is likely to drive you crazy - it would me! So have a talk.