how involved were your grandparents in your life?

[Anonymous]

My paternal granmother was extremely involved in all aspects of my life. She picked me up after school, took me to dance/music lessons, helped with homework, fed me, took me on special trips to museums, theater, etc. My maternal grandparents both worked but frequently took me to their place for the weekend. Each set of grandparents vacationed with me once a year for two weeks or longer. I think a lot of this must be a cultural difference (I grew up in another country) but I feel so sad this is very uncommon around here. My in-laws live on the West Coast and see DD twice a year for three days. My mom helps a lot, just like my grandparents did, and I am so appreciative. I don't think I'll be able to live very far from kids when they grow up, I'd very much want to do the same for them.

[Anonymous]

My father and DH's father both passed away several years ago. Both our mothers are alive and both are self absorbed and consumed with their own independant lives, so much so that they never bother to make an effort to see our kids. Sad!

[Anonymous]

I grew up with no relationship with my grandparents--they were all already dead. Be grateful for what you have.

[Anonymous]

Both sets of my grandparents lived about 10 doors away from us growing up and we saw them every day. I never, ever had a babysitter other than my family and we spent the night there all the time (at one house or the other). I still miss and think about them everyday and they were highly influential in my life. They were incredible people and I am so lucky to have known them.

I hope that my DS has the same relationship with my parents and ILs (and I know he will). He has wonderful role models in his grandparents, just like I did.

[Anonymous]

My granny was a very special woman. She had a tough life, had to raise 5 kids and 2 orphaned cousins in post world war 2 Europe and had to cope with the sudden death of her husband. (1 of her kids had a hearing disability)
I have never met another such a strong and able woman.
I wish I could be like her.
She did not really do babysitting. She had a degree in economics that she got before the war and before marriage. She was most definitely there for us when we were older.

[Anonymous]

My paternal grandparents were dead by the time I was six or seven. I do not remember them being nice people.

Now my maternal grandparents and I were extremely close. They live five minutes away and saw them almost every day. When my grandfather passed away in 09, it felt like my dad died all over again. My grandmother is still alive and kicking. Even though she is 12 hours away we talk daily. We also fly her up to spend weeks with us.

Dh's parents are deceased. My dad is deceased.My mother remarried. Plus she lives 12 hours away. I do not see her playing a huge part in her new granddaughter's life. Sad? Yep, but not much I can do about it.

[Anonymous]

My mother lives five minutes away and cannot be bothered. She is a widow and very involved in her own social life. Sad! Her parents were not much a part of our lives as we were growing up, they loved in another country.

[Anonymous]

Grandparenting has lost all meaning these days. My dad's involvement has diminished since my mom's passing. My inlaws are way too busy with their social life and doctors appointments to visit any more than once every other month or so.

I cannot wait to be a grandparent!! As long as my children don't abuse my kindness, I'll be in their lives as much as I can be.

[Anonymous]

I was blessed to grow up right near my grandparents and great grandparents and extended family. There were lots of us. Saw them every week or more. It was great!

MIL is as close in proximity but too selfish and miserable to be involved. She has a perceived slight in this world and somehow blames me. She's nuts, it all happened before she even knew me. Her own husband and her own parents didn't love her or find her useful.... blah, blah, blah....

Anyway, maybe it's just as well, given her issues!

[Anonymous]

My mom's parents were very involved. When we were younger they'd come visit us, plus we'd go and see them at least once a month - especially when my dad was traveling for work. They'd also take us for a weekend or week or more at a time if my parents were going somewhere together. We still have a very good relationship, and my grandfather (aka papa) recently passed away. My grandmother still sends me cards (and attempted email a few times) and my great grandmother frequently sends me cards and letters.

My dad's side on the other hand - almost no relationship at all. My grandmother on that side passed away when I was very young. My grandfather on that side is a very bigoted and bitter old man who after saying hello would send us outside to play and then lock us out of the house for hours at a time. The last time I saw him was a few years ago and he promptly gave me an article from some sort of supremacist magazine on how non-whites were taking over to read.

[Anonymous]

My grandparents lived 600 miles away. We generally saw them once a year, when we drove there for Christmas. Every few years, they would come to visit us for a few days in the summer.

[Anonymous]

I spent A LOT of time with my maternal grandma when I was little. My parents divorced when I was around 2 or so and I had several older siblings, plus my mom worked nights/swings so my grandma cared for me a good deal during that time, and even before I think. I can't imagine not having her influence in my life from such an early age. Sadly my dad is dead and my mom/step-dad are not particularly involved grandparents and also live quite a distance from all of us kids (who are scattered as well.) I wish every child had the influence of loving grandparents. I really think the world would be a better place.

[Anonymous]

they lived 6 hours away. We saw them a couple times a year tops...but emotionally very close. However, my parents were on their own with the care of their 3 children.

My parents are retired and live nearby and love all of their grandkids. They are very involved in coming to bday parties and sporting events, etc. However, i never have once thought of asking them to do regular childcare duties....I pay for those myself and even if my parents would be willing I would never think it was their 'duty'.

[Anonymous]

My maternal grandparents helped raise my brother and me. My mom and dad split up when I was young and my mom had to go back to school. They often spent the night b/c my mom was in nursing school FT and needed help with taking and picking us up from school, snow and sick days, etc. I think my grandmother was retired by then but my grandfather was still working. He was a bank manager and would take us to work if it was a snow day or if we were sick. I have very fond memories of those days. My own mother helps out a lot too and I am glad my children will have such a close relationship with her.

[Anonymous]

While we never lived close to them my parents would drive to our grandparents house once a month - I was never anywhere else for any holiday. Both grnadparents were in teh same town. My maternal grnadmotehr would watch us for a few weeks during the summer - we were sent all over the place for summers - aunt's great aunt's, etc - we loved it. Paternal grandmother would never 'watch us' but always saw us when we were in town. Rarely would my grandmother come to us...but we were always welcome at her house (with or without parents).

My mom is awesome - anytime I need her (vacation, work travel, etc) she comes and stays with DC. She lives 5 hours away. We try to visit often also. DH parents come to stay with us a few times a year - place help us fund vacation with them. In fact they use their two weeks of timeshare to invite our family and my parents - all 4 grandparents together at the beach is a real treat for our children. DS spent a few days with them solo last year.

My only lamet is that we were older when ew had children and my kids will not have the same memories of these wonderful people who love them so much.