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Co-worker owes money
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Anonymous
| The amount of money has nothing to do with it. If you have good character and you agree to pay someone back for something, you pay them back. If due to some extreme circumstance you are unable to pay them back, you approach them with your apologies and explain why, not give them some excuse and hide from your responsibility. |
Anonymous
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For all saying $100 is too much, isn't that all the more reason the OPer should get HER $100 back?! (and fwiw, I think $100 for a wedding I attended is a minimum)
OP, I agree with the 1st response. Email her, be light and breezy, but pick a specific day/time you can come get it at the office. If she STILL doesn't give it to you, I'd let it drop after this last attempt. |
Anonymous
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OP here. Thanks for all the responses. FWIW, we're all lawyers at a large law firm, so (1) $100 for a wedding gift is pretty standard, even for a co-worker and (2) it's why I'm a little skeptical that she doesn't have it (especially after 3 months). It's also why I feel odd saying something like I need it to pay off a credit card or whatever. I don't NEED it. But I'm just irked that she agreed to the amount (we all agreed in advance), signed her name to the gift, and hasn't paid. And that she's making me feel like a jerk about it.
Sigh. I might just let it go. But I appreciate that advice and letting me vent. |
Anonymous
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Well, it may be high, it may not be high, but if the coworker was uncomfortable, the time to have spoken up was at purchase.
I would ask one more time about the money in the ways suggested. Then I would let it go. |
Anonymous
| I would ask for the money, but I personally would not be so pointed as PP's suggest (in terms of telling her you'll be by his/her office at specific times on specific days). I would just ask for the money again in a nice way. |
Anonymous
I'm one of the PPs who said that seemed like a lot of money. I spend that much on a wedding gift for family, and I spent $250 on a wedding gift for my sister. For a coworker who is also a friend, I spend $40-$50 on a gift that I get on my own. If I'm pitching in for a gift for a coworker I think $20/person is standard. Keep in mind that each person paid $100 (or was supposed to), so that adds up to a $500 gift. |
Anonymous
Are you serious? I have to think you misread. This is a wedding they attended. Twenty bucks? Seriously? I'm not trying to be an ass, but if a group of colleagues went in on a gift and were suggesting 20 bucks each, I would take NO part in that gift and instead give an appropriate gift instead. I don't want to call you cheap, because maybe you're broke. However, I honestly believe that weddings are big, special events. While a gift is not required, if you can afford it, it is an appropriate gesture. I think what is bothering me about your post is not the dollar amount, but the weird sense I'm getting that you think that you should SAVE money by going in on a gift instead of going in on a gift to maximize what you and your colleagues can spend. the point of going in on a gift at the same price you'd pay alone is to be able to get something really nice for them. People will definitely consider you a bit off if that is your standard wedding present. |
Anonymous
I'd also say that this is in NO WAY "standard." If you skipped the wedding, sure. If you attended, way poor form. Sorry. |
Anonymous
OP, I'd do this -- if the original idea was one where everyone willingly and happily signed on. If, by chance, you were the one who came up with the idea of spending $500 and pressured everyone into spending the money, then I would consider this a lesson learned -- that maybe it's better to find out what everyone really wants to do first even if you have a really good idea -- and just let it go. But if everyone was on board with this, then go ahead and email everyone so they also know that someone hasn't paid up as they agreed to. |
Anonymous
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Regardless of whether or not $100 is a lot of $, and I think it is, and I would probably would not contribute that to a co-worker's gift, this woman did contribute and thus she has to pay it back. Peer pressure? PLEASE. We are adults. If you can't afford something and can't pay, then why the hell would you agree to pay? She should be an adult and say, "I am actually planning on doing something on my own for Mary, but thanks for offering to organize!"
Really, that is way more responsible than saying, "Gee, I can't pay. I'll just say I can, and then stick my co-worker with an an extra $100. I think $100 is a lot and I can't afford it, but certainly she won't think $200 is a lot!" I'm sorry but whether or not $100 is expensive has nothing to do with this. This person agreed to pay for something. She owes it. She's an adult and she needs to pay. And if she can't she needs to take responsiblity and tell you. I would have no problem waiving $100 for a coworker who came to me in confidence and told me "I would rather not go into right now but I am not able to pay you at this time." If that were the case I would drop it. But the woman hasn't taken responsiblility and done that. |
Anonymous
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YES!!! Keep asking. Don't be a doormat!
Sincerely, Another Doormat (I always get taken advantage of... my New Year's resolution is to change that...) |