Co-worker owes money

[Anonymous]

A few months ago, a co-worker of mine got married. I organized a group gift among about 5 of us who had gone to the wedding. Each person contributed $100. Two paid very promptly. Another two hadn't paid in a couple of weeks, so I sent an email reminder. Both apologized and one paid up right away. Earlier this month, I sent another (totally friendly) reminder to the one who had not paid. Again she apologized and said she'd pay the next day (she was out of the office that day). She never paid.

Should I keep asking her? To be perfectly honest, $100 will not make or break me. But even still ... it's $100 ... and that's not nothing. Also, it was for a gift she signed her name to, which just feels wrong. While I realize I have no idea what her financial situation is, we're both professionals and earn good money, so I have a hard time believing that over the course of 3 months, she couldn't come up with $100. But I HATE having to keep asking.

What would you do in this situation? Keep bugging her? Let it go? FWIW, we work on different floors and in different departments, so I don't often see her.

[Anonymous]

This is the perfect day to send her an email! Tell her that you are doing your "end of the year accounting" and realized that she must have forgotten to pay you back. Don't get mad; keep it light and breezy. Tell her that if she's around, you'll stop by at 4:30 (or whatever time) to pick up a check; if not you'll be by on Monday at noon. Be specific and let her know you are coming to collect, and when. If she says she's not there on either of those times, keep stating when you will be by to get your money.

If this doesn't work, if you come by and don't get your money, if the check bounces, you know something is seriously wrong.

[Anonymous]

WOW $100! That seems like an outragous amount of money for a co-worker! Can she afford the $100? I agree with the prior PP, just send another email - perhaps you could say that you have to pay your credit card bill or whatever but jeeze, $100 is a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WOW $100! That seems like an outragous amount of money for a co-worker! Can she afford the $100? I agree with the prior PP, just send another email - perhaps you could say that you have to pay your credit card bill or whatever but jeeze, $100 is a lot.

I agree with this. I kind of wonder if the coworker feels that she had to go along with this because of peer pressure and not wanting to look bad in front of her coworkers, but maybe she couldn't really afford this. I know that $100 for a gift for a coworker is definitely out of my budget, and we also make a decent salary. I would definitely send another email because she did sign her name to the card and that is a lot of money for someone to borrow and not pay back.

[Anonymous]

If you can somehow work the idea of "loaned" into your breezy e-mail, do that as well. It will help frame the situation for her as a loan from you to her, not a vague pool of money on which she can free-ride.

[Anonymous]

I'm in the camp of, that's a lot of money for a wedding gift for a coworker. I wonder if she felt pressured to go along. It might be better to have a one-on-one conversation with her in private. If it was a lot of money for her, now is probably not the time for her to pay -- since we are coming off of Xmas. If she can't pay, you could approach the other gift givers and see if they would be willing to split the $100 with you -- so you aren't out the money. A good example of why you should get the money upfront.

[Anonymous]

Damn, and my spouse raked me over the coals for fronting the money for some baseball tickets at work (which people invariably bailed on). Total amount I was out was $80.

One guy was pretty bad, he owed $30 and postponed paying me three times until my wife actually called him.

And yeah, $100 for a co-worker's gift seems a lot unless you all have been friends for 10+ years.

[Anonymous]

$100 is a lot, but not the point of the posting. Definitely be persistent about getting this back. I would follow the advice of telling her that you are coming by at X time to collect.

[Anonymous]

Honestly? If it was me and I didn't really need the money, I'd probably just let it go and chalk it up to a lesson learned (in terms of this particular colleague). I hate feeling like a bill collector and to me, it's not worth potentially damaging a relationship with a co-worker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly? If it was me and I didn't really need the money, I'd probably just let it go and chalk it up to a lesson learned (in terms of this particular colleague). I hate feeling like a bill collector and to me, it's not worth potentially damaging a relationship with a co-worker.

This is how I would do it to...

[Anonymous]

If it were $5 (or even 20), I'd let it go. I would not let $100 go. You've tried nice reminders. I wouldn't get nasty but it's time for a direct email to ask when she can she get the $100 to you and if getting cash is a hassle, you'd take a check.

[Anonymous]

One thought is to send an email to the group, say you're doing year-end accounting, thank those who paid, ask those who have not paid to please do so, so the only one who hasn't paid doesn't feel singled out.

I realize this has risks ...

[Anonymous]

I have never participated in a coworker gift pool where the amount was specified. Each person has always contributed what they felt comfortable doing and a joint gift was purchased. Also, we've always set a deadline, and what is purchased is with the money in hand, and we don't count people who haven't yet forked over the money.

I would not let a $100 go though - that's a lot!

[Anonymous]

Okay, people saying that 100 bucks is too much. What do you normally spend on wedding gifts for weddings you attend? While 100 is way high for a shower gift or birthday gift, etc, it's probably about right for a wedding present. I'm going to assume that the colleagues all agreed on an amount and the coworker either keeps forgetting (it really is possible, though that doesn't make it any less annoying) or there is something going on.

My husband has forgotten to pay his cousin (HIS COUSIN!) 100 bucks (which was really more of a gesture fee anyway) for drawing up plans for our basement reno. Seriously, when I found out that it had been almost a year since we got the drawings, and he STILL HADN"T PAID HIM, I sent a check myself.

Thing is, my husband isn't a jerk, he's just extremely absent-minded. It's an ongoing issue! I guess the other thing is that maybe this person is not as flush as you think. The 250K / year thread annoyed the crap out of me because I consider that we do well on much less than that. However, it gave me some insight into how people can be "broke" when they make the same salary I do.

I'd maybe do one more reminder, or I might just let it go. If you think you'll always be irritated, it's probably worth reminding again. Even though you don't want to be the bill collector, it's not fair for you to have to eat the money.

Next time, though, you already know the drill: "Dear folks who indicated they wanted to go in on a ______ for Jane and John's wedding. I found the lowest price at store X, and it's ____. I'm going to pick it up on Friday, so please bring me your share of ____ before then. I'll take a check or cold hard cash, but I need the money in advance!"

Sorry, though. That stinks to be in that position.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, people saying that 100 bucks is too much. What do you normally spend on wedding gifts for weddings you attend? While 100 is way high for a shower gift or birthday gift, etc, it's probably about right for a wedding present.

I agree. It doesn't sounds that high to me for a wedding gift either.