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Schools and Education General Discussion
Almost hate to ask..September birthdays
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Anonymous
| Ugh. I have boys born in June (4 yr old) and May (2 yr old) and we're discussing this. We've been making the kindergarten open house rounds and asking the teachers/administrators about their experiences. One teacher last night just told me that in her school, the majority of boys with APRIL (!!!) or later birthdays were being held a year. Wow. |
Anonymous
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This whole things makes me nervous for no reason (as our son is only four months old!!!!).... he has a July birthday. I hope he is right on track when the time comes and I don't even have to question our decision.
DD on the other hand was born at the absolute end of September. Ugh. |
Anonymous
I don't understand why someone would even redshirt a child with an April birthday. That's just crazy to me. |
Anonymous
I'm the PP you quoted. I struggle with the idea of holding back a June birthday, but we are being heavily advised to do so. And, you know, May is just one month before June, so we'll probably get told to hold him back as well. And April immediately precedes May, so..... (You can see how this flows.) Another issue for us is that if we hold our June boy, then our trailing May boy who I would have thought we'd send on time would be only one year behind his brother in school. If we hold both of them back (or send both on time), they're two years apart. Baby sister will be three years behind if we send everyone on time, or two years behind if we hold the boys. What a headache! I really wish kids were REQUIRED to start on time barring some sort of physician/educator/parent consensus that the child legitimately is not capable of entering kindergarten on schedule (not just parent making the decision). |
Anonymous
I have a mid-August boy and if one more person that has never met him and barely knows me tells me I should hold him back I will scream. I have never asked on this board so it is not directed at any of you.  It is always people that I am sitting next to at a dinner who ask how old he is and then start telling me how I should hold him back. Seriously.
The whole..."there is this book out there that you should read..." My challenge is that if we were to hold him back our fear is actually boredom and for us boredom creates problems. His teachers and school director all agree that he should start on time or else he will be bored. We have never had any type of delays so to hold him back would actually be a determent to him. I know it is great for some boys but there are a few of them that are actually ready! |
Anonymous
I also have a June boy and he started K on time in Arlington this fall. I have read the postings on this site and my local listserv (MONA) for a couple of years and because of that I was somewhat nervous to send my boy on time. But his preschool teachers said he was ready and my husband and I agreed. He is also big physically for his age, and I knew if we held him back another year, he would be HUGE if he was 6 when he started K. Anyway, after all the postings and stories that "no one" sends their summer boys (and some girls) to school on time, I have not found that to be the case in his class at all. There were maybe 1-2 kids who were 6 when they started in Sept., and more are turning 6 all the time. Some will not turn 6 until next summer like my son. Maybe it's different in public schools, but I have not found redshirting to be as common as everyone said it was at least in my son's school. We also have a 3 year old who was born in June and he will go on time as well I think. I do agree that April is a bit ridiculous - kids would be almost 6.5 when starting K! |
Anonymous
| I have a boy with a late July birthday, and I plan on sending him on time. He has two older sisters, so he seems much more mature than my first child did at his age. Academically, I think he's pretty bright, too. And he is on the tall side. In my mind, unless there is a specific reason to hold back, then you shouldn't. I don't think parents should hold their kids back just for the sake of holding them back due to their birthdate. |
Anonymous
| if my DS was two days before cut off, I would hold him almost certainly. As people have said, it's hard to know early. But then I am not that worried about the boredom issue. I also think what our parents did for us is pretty irrelevant since this was much less common then so being a late Sept boy didn't mean you'd likely have kids close to a year and a half ahead in same grade. Our DD is late August and will redshirt her. have read all the drawbacks and just don't find them as compelling as the drawbacks of being youngest. |
Anonymous
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I think summer birthdays are the hardest. Maturity changes so much in just a few months at this stage. DS has a September birthday and I still do not know what we will do next year. Like a PP I ahve been worried about this (from time to time) since DS was only a few monthsold. DD has a May birthday. and I have never worried about this issue for her.
It seems more parents regret not holding back...that is what keeps ringing in my ears. My biggest concern is the social / emotional difference. I am not worried about acedemics or about athletics. We never wanted the smartest or most talented kid... we can also supplement with home activities or practice to some regard. But what we really want fro DS is for him to be happy and content - which is often tied to peer relationships. The maturity level seems to play into this already as he is more than a year behind some of his PreK friends.... |
Anonymous
| TO 11:47, I could have written the exact same thing, but my son is September. I am sick of the unsolicited, here is how you should start your child's education advice. And yes, do not offer me the book you read about your kid. |
Anonymous
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I have a son with a late September bday and I am not sick of the advice-I actually welcome information and usually someone talks about it as a means of conversation starter. Anyway, I was worried about this until I realized that many of the privates have a Sept 1 hard deadline so the decision was made for me. But if I had to make a decision, I would rather have him home with me an extra year
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Anonymous
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I redshirted my boy who made the cutoff by a week. I'm not saying you should or shouldn't, but after agonizing over it for a year, the thing that really decided me was this:
If I redshirted him, I would at least know that age wasn't the reason for his immaturity, social and motor issues. If I didn't redshirt, it would never be clear to me whether the problem was him or the age difference. For me, with a son with substantial issues, taking that one potential regret off the table was worth it. |
Anonymous
Why not just get him evaluated to see if the "substantial issues" are something other than age? My DD has spent the past two school years with red shirted boys ( a different boy each year) who are immature and have social issues in her classroom. Both of these boys were the oldest in the class, and yet the most immature and disruptive. But they are older, and seen as cool by the other kids. Age is clearly not the issue with them. Redshirting them has not solved the issue for them, and has created disruption for the other kids. |
Anonymous
| For those of you whose children are under four, there's no point in worrying about what to do yet. Your kid may surprise you if you pay attention (to your kid and to the expectations of the school) rather than worry about theoretical possibilities. Don't make decisions based on "what everybody knows." such as "boys mature later" and "kindergarten is the new first grade." Some boys are plenty mature. Some girls aren't. And plenty of kindergartens are kindergarten, still. |
Anonymous
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My ds has a late August birthday. He will be one of the two kids in his class to still be 5 when 1st grade rolls around next year. He also went to pre-k and preschool in a public school setting. The decision for me was easy. He was ready for school. I wasn't overly concerned about maturity. He was just 3. It comes in time. He does very well academically, so I was more concerned about him being bored in class (like he was last year at a different school) than not being socially ready.
I did learn recently that one of his classmates will turn 7 three days before my son turns 6 next year. And to be honest, I was surprised. |